Entries Tagged as 'bathroom'

Five reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber

September 29th, 2009 · 144 Comments

1. Spotted by Trevor in Richmond, Virginia

PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH...coffee grounds, dental floss, disposable diapers, cat litter, pet wastes, sanitary napkins, tampons, cigarette butts, condoms, paper towels, facial tissues, plastics, heavy cream, cheese, butter, soap HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS SUCH AS: pesticides, medicines, paints, varnishes, thinners, waste oils, photographic solutions

2. From Karen in Chicago

PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH DOWN THE TOILETS: Feminine hygiene products, diapers, paper towels or mops, food, napkins or glass, computer paper, art papers, fabric or canvas, paints or solvents, plants, sand or soil, plastic, wood or metal

3. Spotted by Eli in Kauai

DO NOT flush paper towels, newspaper, wrapping paper, rags, disposable diapers, sanitary napkins, tampons, plastic, sticks, etc. down the toiler

4. from Miller Peterson in Japan

FECES ONLY! Don't flush another!

And lastly, a beloved classic from the world-class RunBarbara (and of course, THX SANDRA)

Hello ladies, This is the last time I will remind you: if you have to "throw up" in the bathroom please do it in the trash can, then take the bag out of the trash can and dispose of it down-stairs in the "facilities" dumpster.


related: with a chainsaw?

Tags: bodily fluids · garbage · toilet · WTF?

Is this a thing now?

September 3rd, 2009 · 157 Comments

Replace the roll”?  Fair enough. Any special requests after that, though, I’m not so sure about. As our submitter in Lexington, Kentucky writes: “Does that extra .34-second step really cause your day to go so horribly?”

Please leave a 'tail' hanging on the toilet paper after use. Thanks!

On the flipside…don’t flush ‘em, I understand. but…really, ladies? As our submitter in Orlando put it: “I don’t know what scares me more: the fact that this was a problem, or the fact that my employers had professional signs made up to deter people from doing it.”

Please do not throw sanitary napkins in shower. THANK YOU

related: a filthy hap pit

Tags: bathroom · hygiene · so this is a thing? · toilet paper · WTF?

2 notes, 1 cupcake

August 28th, 2009 · 94 Comments

This restroom sign from Baton Rouge, Louisiana manages to combine variations on two of the genre’s most irritating cliches — the rhyme that must be flushed and the clip art that must be stopped…with some additional ridiculous floral clip art thrown in for good measure.

following the "more is more" principle of design

And yet, somehow, this note manages to offend me even more. I don’t think I’ll look at cupcakes the same way again.

Sprinkles are for cupcakes, not toilet seats!

related: the “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry

extra credit: “it’s your birthday and we do give a shit”

Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · spelling and grammar police · toilet

Comrades, take notice!

August 23rd, 2009 · 96 Comments

Sarah in San Francisco convinced her friend Tim to take a photo of this note, the third in a series of progressively sterner notes that has appeared in his office restroom.

Writes Sarah: “I am a fan of, inter alia, the fact that the author ‘buries the lead’ in the p.s. in the middle; the phrase ‘do not leave with the toilet paper,’ as if it’s something you pick up at a bar and take home before the beer goggles wear off; the statement that toilet paper ‘belongs to the public,’ like the state’s natural resources; and of course, the threat to make the perpetrator pay…and more.”

the toilet paper belongs to the public, not the individual

Meanwhile, this note from Jen in Richmond, B.C. is both more specific and more puzzling.

comrades, take note!

I mean, subbing paper towels for TP, I understand…you gotta do what you gotta do when your rations run out. But drying your hands with toilet paper? Really, comrades?

is your washroom breeding Bolsheviks?

related: five approaches to TP maintenance

Tags: not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · stealing · toilet paper

The bathroom-stall booger epidemic

August 11th, 2009 · 142 Comments

Who knew? Apparently, every office has at least one person with an insatiable need to spread the contents of their nose on the wall.

From Florida:

Hey Boogermeister, This isn't a gas station in Hazzard County; this is a place of work. How about blowing your nose in a tissue like most evolved humans, instead of picking it and wiping it all over the place? Your cooperation is much appreciated.

From Georgia:

The Wall — Good For: Holding up the Ceiling. Not Good For: Wiping your boogers

From a hospital (!) in Washington, D.C.

Is this your booger collection? If so please consider taking it down and back home with you (or are you walls simply too full of your snot by now?). It is clear that you have some personal hygiene self-respect issues that you need to resolve. Please seek appropriate counseling and follow up.

[Read more →]

Tags: bathroom · grow up · hygiene · most popular notes of 2009 · nose-picking · office · that's disgusting

Is drawing with MS Paint ever really necessary?

August 2nd, 2009 · 116 Comments

I didn’t think office sign illustration could get more gratuitous than this guy, but then Corinna in Seattle came through with this.

Leave the toilet seat clean and dry

(Add a few hand-drawn penises and you’ve got yourself a Perez Hilton special!)

related: maybe next time you should try power point?

Tags: bathroom · office · piss · toilet · unnecessary illustration

Oh! Shit!

July 15th, 2009 · 168 Comments

Writes Stephanie in Lubbock, Texas: “One day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trash cans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. There’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”

DO NOT PUT ANY!!! FECES IN THIS CONTAINER!!!!!!

Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania explains: “There are only three of us who use this bathroom, so obviously one of the other two people had a problem with me not adequately spraying the sickly-sweet ‘odor masker’ that doesn’t do anything other than mix with the ambient scent in the restroom to make it smell even worse than it might otherwise.”

IF YOU SHIT!! THEN YOU SPRAY!!

Adds our submitter: “Oh, also, this sign went up when I had only four days left working here. I have a pretty good idea how i’ll be ‘celebrating’ my last day.”

related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!!

Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · Pennsylvania · shit · Texas

Clearly seeking his master’s in diplomacy

June 15th, 2009 · 103 Comments

Our anonymous university student in Cambridge, England found this note pinned to the door of his shared house. “The guy who wrote it moved here from America about five weeks ago and is about eight years older than the rest of us in the house. He seems to be a nice guy, but has this strange aggressive side that we are now a little wary of. Last week he cleaned out all the fridges, claiming he had not been offered any space in them, throwing away open food belonging to other people.”

Adds our submitter: “We are a pretty relaxed household and have lived with the mystery soaker for the whole year. It seems a little odd that this guy is making all this fuss so close to the end of term when we will all leave and he will presumably have the house to himself.”

clearly seeking his master's in diplomacy

related: Oxford drama

Tags: college life · roommates · shower · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...

If she were really passive-aggressive, she’d get the fence secretly electrified

May 18th, 2009 · 170 Comments

Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”

I’d say Eric got off pretty easy, no?

ERIC - PICK UP THE CIGARETTE BUTTS! NOW & do not piss on the fence! That is so Disrespectful to me & this house! What the hell Eric! There is a bathroom right thru the door! USE IT.

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: actually totally reasonable · California · Moms & Dads · piss · smoking · toilet

Why the “seething and waiting” strategy will never get through to a messy roommate: they are oblivious to your blind rage!

April 8th, 2009 · 373 Comments

Laura lives in a four-person suite at Boston College, where she says one of her suitemates, Christin, is “a notorious neat freak.” What that meant was that Christin and her roommate, Amanda, cleaned the shared bathroom a lot.

“Kelsey and I never did, because they never let the bathroom reach a point where it was actually dirty,” Laura says. They also never figured it was an issue, seeing as, uh, nobody ever mentioned that it was an issue. (“The number of times they have mentioned the state of the bathroom? ZERO.”) So Laura and her roomie were a bit surprised, one day in February, to find this screed on the floor of their room.

VERY DISRESPECTFUL

related: letter from a narcotic

Tags: bathroom · Boston · cleaning · college life · martyr complex · roommates · that's disgusting · that's disrespectful · TL;DR