Entries Tagged as 'bathroom'

The case for single-sex toilets

March 17th, 2009 · 139 Comments

“In the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in Berkeley, California. Everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” A female coworker responded with the note below.

Turn around. Did everything flush? Did you wipe the seat and put it back down? Have some common courtesy. We don't want to know your business. Thanks

And then, well, the lines were drawn.

Please DO NOT flush any feminine products in the toilet!

Please also avoid flushing the following Masculine Products in the toilet: Electric razors, Sporting equipment, T.V. remotes, Guns, Excessive Aggression

related: dude kinda has a point

Tags: battle of the sexes · Berkeley · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · fed-up librarian · office · toilet

Five approaches to T.P. maintenance

March 3rd, 2009 · 137 Comments

You could start with a basic visual aid…

Can you wipe with this? I can't. So please change out empty rolls!! They are behind you.

Or perhaps appeal to your readers’ sense of patriotism…

IF YOU DON'T REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER ROLLS THE TERRORISTS WIN. DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

…or go with a not-so-veiled threat.

If You Want To Keep Eating You Better Replace The Toilet Paper

Of course, you could just let your ass do the talking.

Brian, You make me sad. xo, Jen's Bum

But remember to cite your sources.

For clear, easy to understand directions on How to change the Fucking toilet paper TRY GOOGLE!

(Thanks to Ryan in West Palm Beach, Heather in Delaware, Julie in Marysville, Brian in British Columbia and bluepaintred in Canada for their advice on this matter.)

related: Four approaches to ice cube maintenance

Tags: bathroom · misplaced patriotism · not-so-veiled threats · toilet paper · visual aids

Daft Flush

February 27th, 2009 · 58 Comments

If you share a bathroom facility with either  a) evil robots or b) electronic music enthusiasts, then the [techno]logic of this sign — from an office in Paris — just might be convincing enough to work.

Push it, clean it, wash, update it!

(But prepare for the inevitable: “One more time?”)

related: Over and over – The Warning (passive-aggressive remix)
extra credit: Daft Hands [youtube]

Tags: bathroom · cleaning · office · Paris

How many wonders can one cavern hold?

February 4th, 2009 · 132 Comments

After 55 years, the North Shore Music Theatre in Beverly, Mass. is closing its doors, Terrance writes, “and I wanted to preserve the rich history of notes and art that have accumulated over the years.”

First up: this artistic series from the intern lounge. (Sidenote: intern lounge?!)

Somebody pooped in the intern bathroom. And I had to dig it out with this!

Going' to poop in the LOBBY bathroom like the cool kids do.

I'll give you these flowers...if you stop pooping in this potty.

related: I’ll tell you what’s classy, though

Tags: art · Massachusetts · odor · shit · toilet

To flush or not to flush

January 8th, 2009 · 141 Comments

This first note was posted in the bathroom of the Gay Pride Center in New Brunswick, New Jersey; the second, in the bathroom of the Rhode Island Department of Health in Providence.

I’d probably recommend steering clear of the kitchen sinks at both facilities.

Attention: Please DO NOT flush anything inside of the toilet (this includes toilet paper, sanitary napkins, paper towels, or wipes.) Use garbage disposal instead. THANK YOU

to flush or not to flush

related: a filthy hap pit

Tags: all clogged up · bathroom · CAPS LOCK · garbage · New Jersey · Providence · toilet · WTF?

The Joker

January 5th, 2009 · 85 Comments

Because it’s Monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, I thought it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these gems from the Columbia, Kentucky and Melbourne, Australia campuses, respectively, of the University of What The Fuck.

Ladies! I'm sorry about the shower but someone pooped in it. When I get the time I will clean it. That is if I get the time. Kay <- Housekeeping

Who takes a crap in the SHOWER?!? (Why so serious?) Dude...

(And commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the lack of “anal-retentive” punning in this post’s subject line.)

related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today

extra credit: Waste management [youtube]

Tags: Australia · college life · Kentucky · Melbourne · shit · shower

With a chainsaw?

December 30th, 2008 · 69 Comments

Spotted at a local restaurant by Kevin in Boston…

Please flush me gently (Oh, I'll flush you alright.)

Tags: anthropomorphism · Boston · double-entendre alert · toilet

Hi kids, it’s your old pal, Fluffy!

December 20th, 2008 · 108 Comments

Once upon a time, our anonymous submitter informs us, a plucky young fellow who goes by the name “Fluffy Fox” found his way onto the walls of this underutilized Florida dorm shower. An avid personal hygiene enthusiast, Fluffy has always been all too willing to provide grime-infested student bodies with his full rundown of bathroom reminders.

How to: Shower

Did you remember to...

REMEMBER TO WIPE! Thanks, The Management

If passive-aggressive notes are good enough for prime time, surely there’s room for Fluffy’s bathroom antics in today’s lackluster Saturday morning cartoon lineup, no?

related: There are only 10 types of people in the world…

Tags: bathroom · college life · Florida · heart · hygiene · shower · toilet · visual aids

The rhyme that must be flushed

December 9th, 2008 · 196 Comments

Apparently, sayeth google analytics, the oh-so-clever phrase “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is one of the most common search terms that leads people to this little website. (Sorry to disappoint you, folks — no cross-stitch patterns to be found here.)

So, um, yeah…I’m gonna go curl up the fetal position and die now. I’ll leave the textual analysis underlying the great “neat/sweetie” literary schism to you guys, k?

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...be a neatie and wipe the seatie!

This one might be a little more home-spun, but I think the urine-colored highlighter and ellipses diarrhea really pushes it over the top:

LADIES, IF YOU SPRINKLE WHEN YOU TINKLE.......PLEASE BE NEAT & WIPE THE SEAT........

If you want your mind completely blown, check out this international variation, from  Jamaica:

If you twinkle when you spinkle please be neat and wipe the seat

And from San Francisco, the po-mo edition:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...you know what the fuck to do!!! Just because u don't live here that means u too, bro....!!!

related: “Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy”

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · ellipses-crazed · high on highlighter · pure poetry · toilet

And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night

November 30th, 2008 · 77 Comments

How’d you like to be flatmates with Dianne in London? Cos I’m thinking there just might be an opening soon…

Whomever has been using my mouthwash should know that when I'm drink i sometimes spit back into the bottle. HA!

related: clarifying motion #2

Tags: bathroom · drizzunk · hygiene · London · roommates · spitting · U.K.