An anonymous submitter in Portland, Maine is currently chafing under one of the most common irritants of communal living: a roommate “who has never once bought toilet paper.”

She and her other roommate tried some of the more subtle manuevers in the passive-aggressive playbook — up to and including the ol’ hide-and-carry — to no avail. (“When we run out, he uses our paper towels instead,” she says.) That is, until her roommate, who’d “had enough of plunging his shit,” decided to up the ante with this note.

related: oh, she said it

Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.

The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. “I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”

Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)

I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…

related: The return of Thx Sandra!

“I work for a pretty awesome non-profit, where people are amazingly laidback, accepting and non-OCD,” says our anonymous submitter in San Francisco — so this note came as something of a surprise.

Adds our submitter: “I have to admit, seeing the newspaper on top of the toilet tank the previous week had kinda gotten on my nerves too.”

related: oh dear

This public service announcement is brought to us by Tully’s Coffee, courtesy of Megan in Seattle.

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there’d be no books”

As far as post-coital “littering” goes, I’m guessing most dorm bathrooms have seen a lot worse than a pink t-shirt, no?

(And we certainly appreciate Matt in Greensboro for snapping the photo.)

Our anonymous submitter lives in what she says is a typical college apartment, one that is “not decorated according to any theme.” And yet, in a transformation a college freshman taking Lit 101 might describe as “Kafkaesque,” one of her roommates has been replaced by your [fill-in-your-own-ethnic-stereotype-here] grandmother.

Adds our submitter: “These weird towels wouldn’t dry two fingers, much less two hands, so we don’t use them anyway! (Maybe if they weren’t so ugly…)”

related: Text me at work if you want to talk!!

At this college dorm in Seattle, our anonymous submitter says each floor ordinarily has one male and one female bathroom. However, because this particular floor happens to have an overwhelming number of female residents, both bathrooms were deemed female-only…much to some guy‘s chagrin.

related: Losing Lisa

This note was posted in the girls’ toilets at a college dorm in Canberra, Australia.

Later, this note was slipped under the doors of everyone on the floor.

(Click to enlarge!)

related: Losing Lisa