Entries Tagged as 'bathroom'

How many scientists does it take…

June 19th, 2012 · 37 Comments

Two unisex bathrooms; two crops of overly-educated office drones; one shared problem.

IT DOESN'T TAKE A BRAIN SURGENT TO CHANGE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL. SERIOUSLY... [Apparently, though, it takes a Scientist to spell Surgeon correctly.]

Women. Always something to complain about.

(Re: “You can do it with one hand!” Clearly, Natalie knows her audience.)

related: It’s not rocket science.

extra credit: “My dad is a bachelor and this is how he keeps his toilet paper…” [imgur]

Tags: battle of the sexes · Facebook · toilet paper

We can put a man on the moon, but…

June 11th, 2012 · 33 Comments

This [plagiarized] note comes to us from a staff restroom at NASA’s Johnson Space Center. “This is just great,” says our submitter. “We can put a 7-degrees-of-freedom robotic arm in space that can build a space station, but we can’t get a ‘wall robot’ to work…or even send in a work order request to get it fixed.”

Thank you...motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, would you care to test out this motion sensor hand towel machine for yourself?

Aaaaand…there you have it.

related: It’s not rocket science.

extra credit: “Nice Work If You Can Get It” [This American Life]

Tags: bathroom · Houston · office · thanks (but not really)

Flowcharts for a positive apartment-sharing experience

June 5th, 2012 · 56 Comments

Four roommates, a half-gallon of stolen ice cream, and 9 months worth of unflushed toilets went into the making of these two flowcharts.

Refrigerator flowchart

Bathroom Flow Chart: for a positive lavatory experience!

related: Hover & Flow(chart)

Tags: battle of the sexes · flow chart · food · fridge · most popular notes of 2012 · Ohio · roommates · toilet

This bartender’s got your number

May 27th, 2012 · 47 Comments

Fun fact: according to a Pew Research report, 30% of young adults have pretended to be using their phone in order to avoid interacting with the people around them.

If you’re one of them, here’s a head’s up: Your awkward penguin moves aren’t gonna help you at Gestalt Haus in San Francisco.

If you are going to use the restroom without buying anything, don't pretend to get a phone call on the way out in order to avoid eye contact with the bartender. Thanks —MGMT

Adds our submitter, Carly: “Even though I bought plenty of beer while I was there, I still felt like I needed to make eye contact with the bartender when coming out of the pisser. And that gets a little awkward after a while.”

related: Drip-dry only, ladies

Tags: bar · most popular notes of 2012 · oh snap · San Francisco · toilet

A diarrhea-only toilet?

May 10th, 2012 · 60 Comments

Well, this is a new one.

“Just…wow,” says our submitter in Springfield, Illinois. “I’ve never been told that I have to assess my the consistency of my fecal matter prior to it leaving my body.”

Notice: Due to plumbing issues, please use this stall for

related: How you say diarrhea politely?

Tags: Illinois · most popular notes of 2012 · shit · toilet

The Countertop Snot Rocketer

April 18th, 2012 · 35 Comments

Writes Brad in North Carolina: “This was in the bathroom at work, and I must have read it three or four times before admitting I didn’t have a clue what was happening.  The confusion could have been due to the grammar, the punctuation, or the notion that people blow their nose on the countertop (?!?).

Please Don't Blow your nose on Counter top here is tissue... Help your Self!!

Perhaps there’s a snot-rocketer on the loose?

Adds Brad: “In the day and a half since the note has been up, nobody has touched that roll of toilet paper.”

related: Hey, I was saving that for later!

Tags: bathroom · hygiene · North Carolina · nose-picking · office · toilet paper

Well, that’s terrifying.

March 6th, 2012 · 35 Comments

Though this may look like the the bloody rantings of a serial killer, Tino in Stuttgart, Germany says this was simply his flatmate’s way of stating his displeasure at the ongoing lack of parity in toilet-paper purchasing.

(Tino’s rough translation: YOU ASSES[,] BUY SOME TOILET PAPER.)

IHR ÄRSCHE KAUFT KLOPAPIER

And my favorite part…

IHR ÄRSCHE KAUFT KLOPAPIER

related: Comrades, take notice!

Tags: Deutsche · Germany · heart · roommates · toilet paper

The slippery slope is slippery

February 26th, 2012 · 53 Comments

When it comes to this particular student share house, “It seems that the pure, unadulterated essence of corporate greed is found in forgetting to turn of the tap,” our submitter writes. “Clearly, society is a snarky bitch.”

Louise, not everyone has chosen the same destructive path as you have, mindless corporate MUPPET, and not everyone wants to set the world ablaze with greed, extortion and squander. So please, next time you use the toilet, turn the tap off. Many thanks, Society

P.S. Corporate Muppet, you say?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

related: A not-so-friendly handshake

Tags: bathroom · roommates · The Earth · U.K.

Very unfortunate, indeed.

February 22nd, 2012 · 55 Comments

Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.

Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”

Very unfortunate, indeed.

Sadly, I think Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner has a point:

Hey, Guess What!!  If someone's shitting on the floor, they probably aren't going to stop if you shame them with a stall memo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

related: THE MAD BOMBER: Never Forget!

Tags: bathroom · bold-underlined-caps · Cleveland · office · shit · that's disgusting · WTF?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

January 24th, 2012 · 59 Comments

Shaun in Austin spotted this mysterious complaint in the men’s room at his office. (Apparently all of the males employed there are very, very sensitive.)

Is anyone else offended by the douche who uses toilet paper to block the spaces around the door? Does he really think we want to watch him shit?

related: This locker room is a nudity-free zone

Tags: a little uptight · bathroom · rhetorical question · toilet · toilet paper