Entries Tagged as 'bathroom'

The slippery slope is slippery

February 26th, 2012 · 53 Comments

When it comes to this particular student share house, “It seems that the pure, unadulterated essence of corporate greed is found in forgetting to turn of the tap,” our submitter writes. “Clearly, society is a snarky bitch.”

Louise, not everyone has chosen the same destructive path as you have, mindless corporate MUPPET, and not everyone wants to set the world ablaze with greed, extortion and squander. So please, next time you use the toilet, turn the tap off. Many thanks, Society

P.S. Corporate Muppet, you say?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

related: A not-so-friendly handshake

Tags: bathroom · roommates · The Earth · U.K.

Very unfortunate, indeed.

February 22nd, 2012 · 55 Comments

Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.

Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”

Very unfortunate, indeed.

Sadly, I think Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner has a point:

Hey, Guess What!!  If someone's shitting on the floor, they probably aren't going to stop if you shame them with a stall memo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

related: THE MAD BOMBER: Never Forget!

Tags: bathroom · bold-underlined-caps · Cleveland · office · shit · that's disgusting · WTF?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

January 24th, 2012 · 59 Comments

Shaun in Austin spotted this mysterious complaint in the men’s room at his office. (Apparently all of the males employed there are very, very sensitive.)

Is anyone else offended by the douche who uses toilet paper to block the spaces around the door? Does he really think we want to watch him shit?

related: This locker room is a nudity-free zone

Tags: a little uptight · bathroom · rhetorical question · toilet · toilet paper

Karma Police

January 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

This is what you get when you mess with us:

If you "attempt" to throw something away & miss or if the trashcan is already full & you pile it on top, or if the bag has fallen in & you don't fit it & just add your disgusting garbage to it, then WE HATE YOU! Don't worry about who "WE" are, just worry about cleaning up after yourself. IT IS BAD KARMA to leave your trash lying around!!! <3 the karma police have a nice day! :)

In other words: You’re a creep. You’re a weirdo. What the hell are you doing here? You don’t belong here!

SODA in H2O cups is BAD KARMA

Please help prevent bad karma: DO NOT flush feminine hygiene products.  Place in waste basket.  Thank you, Management.

(Thanks to Bonnie from North Carolina, Eric in California, and Paperback Writer in Pittsburgh for their submissions!)

 

related: Karma’s a bitch.

Tags: Coke · garbage · have a nice day · karma's a bitch · smiley · toilet

Short on New Year’s resolutions? The janitor has a few suggestions for you.

December 30th, 2011 · 39 Comments

From the ladies’ room…

New Year's Resolution: I WILL FLUSH THE TOILET AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES TO MAKE MY CRAP DISAPPEAR.

And the men’s room…

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:  *I will not pee on the floor *I will not pee on the toilet seats *I will not throw paper towels on the floor (either inside or outside the restroom) *I will not leave paper towels (or pieces of them) on the counter

And the men’s room, one day later…

FIXED THAT FOR YOU

related: And a Happy New Year to you!

Tags: bodily fluids · hygiene · office · toilet

Do I detect a note of hostility in your hospitality?

December 1st, 2011 · 77 Comments

As someone with a small bladder, Becky of Apostrophe Catastrophes says she’s peed in many a hotel lobby bathroom, but this was the first time she’s encountered a passive-aggressive note in the process.

“Ironically,” she says, on this occasion, “I actually was staying in one of the rooms they hint at in the note.”

There's [sic] 1,015 other bathrooms just waiting for you upstairs.

related: The best bathrooms in Fairbanks, Alaska

Tags: bathroom · motels & hostels · New York

Your Ultra Charmin Neighbor

November 21st, 2011 · 61 Comments

Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “In our apartment building, packages are left by the block of mailboxes, relatively near where your individual mailbox is. I’ve never had a problem, but apparently not everyone was so lucky…this sign was on every floor of the building.”

Dear whoever stole my Amazon package: I can understand your need for 30 rolls of toilet paper considering you're a huge asshole. Enjoy, Your Friendly Neighbor

related: I hope your cat chokes.

Tags: most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · Philadelphia · stealing · toilet paper

Hover & Flow(chart)

November 15th, 2011 · 131 Comments

Writes Erica in New York: “I don’t think this woman is aware that the aggressive automatic flush makes water splash all over the toilet seats…but she’s obviously very angry.”

When you pee, do you squat and hover over the toilet seat?

related: Coffee pot flowchart

Tags: etiquette · flow chart · most popular notes of 2011 · New York · office · piss · toilet

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

November 14th, 2011 · 90 Comments

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

Clearly, you use the bathroom, which means that you use the 12 rolls of toilet paper I bought a week ago. And you bought 4. Really? Is this okay in the eyes of baby Jesus? Equality is important in today's society. Do you know who doesn't like equality? TERRORISTS. TERRORISTS DO NOT LIKE EQUALITY.

…and the first response:

I've started using my own toilet paper. Sorry for any confusion.

Your move, “Scott.”

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance

Tags: college life · Georgia · gloriously redundant · Jesus · p.s. · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · smartass · toilet paper · visual aids

Stay classy, Fairbanks

October 10th, 2011 · 43 Comments

I’ll admit it: When reading the backstory to this note, I definitely raised an eyebrow at Mary’s assertion that this restaurant in Fairbanks, Alaska — Bobby’s Downtown — is best known for its “lavishly posh restrooms.” Then I took a look at the online reviews.

The bathrooms are the best thing about this restaurant.

"Best bathroom ever."

Now, as fascinated as I am by this whole “princess of the bathrooms” concept, I should probably get back to Mary — who, on her most recent visit to Bobby’s famous facilities, spotted a delightful new addition to the decor:

To the person who stole the previous 3 telephones:  I hope you really needed them, But your Actions speak louder!!! I will NOT let you spoil it for the rest of our customers!  Believe me I will catch you and it will not be a pretty picture when your name will appear on the front page of the newspaper, and you standing in front of a Judge trying to explain to the Law why you like stealing!  With much Love Always ... BOBBY.

To the person who stole the previous 3 telephones:  I hope you really needed them, But your Actions speak louder!!! I will NOT let you spoil it for the rest of our customers!  Believe me I will catch you and it will not be a pretty picture when your name will appear on the front page of the newspaper, and you standing in front of a Judge trying to explain to the Law why you like stealing!  With much Love Always ... BOBBY.

Boy, that is one issue of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner I cannot wait to see.

related: The Mad Hatter’s Tea Shop Rules

Tags: Alaska · bathroom · not-so-veiled threats · restaurant · signed with love · stealing