Entries Tagged as 'bathroom'

Headed to New Orleans for Mardi Gras?

March 8th, 2011 · 66 Comments

Well, ladies, you might want to bring your own TP. (Or carpet, as the case may be.) Erin from Baton Rouge says the bathroom/plumbing situation in New Orleans during Mardi Gras is the worst. At least at this bar they give you fair warning, eh?

SUN. thru TUES. NO PAPER PRODUCTS IN BATHROOMS! DRIP-DRY (LADIES)

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Tags: bar · bathroom · New Orleans · toilet · toilet paper

Mario’s response: “Mamma Mia! I’m a plumber, not a janitor!”

February 22nd, 2011 · 52 Comments

Like the angry woman/women who wrote this note, Katie in Lexington, Kentucky works on the third floor of her building — but she’s never noticed any problems with the custodian’s work.

“Sure, sometimes a stall runs out of toilet paper, but within a couple of hours, he has refilled them,” she says. And besides: “I, for one, would prefer that Mario doesn’t hang out all afternoon in the women’s bathroom.” So, notewriter…maybe it’s time to take your massive craps elsewhere, hmm?

Mario -- Consider this fair warning... The women who work and study on the 3rd floor are no longer going to tolerate the lack of bath tissue or hand towels in this restroom. We do not want to complain to your supervisor, but we will have to if you do not maintain the paper products in this restroom.

related: Who cleans your bathrooms? “A strange black lady with a knife.”

extra credit: Luigi finally snaps [CollegeHumor.com]

Tags: bathroom · disgruntled janitor · Kentucky · office · office cop · paper product fairy · toilet paper

Mother of hair? Is that like mother of pearl?

February 18th, 2011 · 69 Comments

I’ll admit it: I had to read this note and the accompanying explanation about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower drain.

Dear Mother of Hair Baby, Please take care of your disgusting little child, I'm tired of seeing it. I don't care if you love it with all your heat, I don't want to see it. If you care for it so much take the little varment [sic] to your room & care for it there. Your Truly, Disgusted

But speaking of babies…as Massimo noticed, this Boston-area Walgreens is apparently hoping to capitalize on your drunken New Years/Valentine’s Day sexual escapades. (Or else they’re just really, really curious?????)

BABIES????????????? FIND OUT HERE!!

related: Please clean ALL your feathers.

extra credit: The incredible hair baby of Manchester [Dailymail.co.uk]

Tags: college life · confusion??? · hair · most popular notes of 2011 · preggers · shower · that's disgusting · WTF?

Stop “blocking your blessing”

February 3rd, 2011 · 76 Comments

Jo spotted this testimony in a restroom at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

I guessing this particular portion of the Gospel of (the) John was lost in translation from the Greek or some such — a shame, cause “God doesn’t like ugly” would make a great protest sign.

To the Person Who Keeps Leaving Their Mess in the Toilet. I'M SO GLAD I WASN'T RAISED LIKE YOU....I KNOW YOU ARE PURPOSELY LEAVING YOUR MESS IN THE TOILET BECAUSE YOU DO IT EVERY DAY.... STOP BLOCKING YOUR BLESSING BY BEING MEAN SPIRITED GROW UP!!!!!. AND FLUSH THE TOILET. THAT'S JUST NASTY!!!!!!!!!!! [that is so true (shame on you)] GOD DOESN'T LIKE

related: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · God · grow up · Philadelphia · toilet · You call that punctuation?

“Employees” must “wash hands” with “soap”

January 30th, 2011 · 32 Comments

If you’ve ever been tempted to go through an off-limits “staff only” entrance, you might consider whether that rush of forbidden adrenaline is worth the possibility of entering a wormhole to an alternate “universe” where nothing is as it seems…even the most basic rituals of hygiene!

Restroom is for

Employee must "wash hands"

This is

And if you think you can escape the way you came in…you’re sadly mistaken.

Entrance only: DO NOT ENTER

(“Thanks” to Pam in Texas, Tommy in Ohio, Lisa in Michigan, and Victor in Puerto Rico for their “submissions!”)

related: The ladies room is for “women”

Tags: bathroom · unnecessary "quotation marks" · washing your hands · WTF?

When hand-washing gets a little out of hand

January 23rd, 2011 · 70 Comments

When her company recently relocated, says Sara in St. Louis, her department and several others were thrown together in a new office where the marketing group had already staked its claim.

“Marketing had tagged the soap they supplied in the bathroom because it was getting thrown away,” says Sara, “but when the other groups moved in they started tagging their products too.”

At this point, she says, “It’s getting a little awkward. I’m not in any of these departments — I just want to wash my hands.”

The office sink pissing contest

related: Everything in this drawer belongs to Elaine.

Tags: bathroom · office · St. Louis · washing your hands

Diagnosis: Toilet (an exercise in psychoceramics)

January 16th, 2011 · 32 Comments

Is your toilet acting up again? Has your plumber already thrown up his hands and said he’s done everything he can? Perhaps it’s time you turned to Dr. Josiah Carberry, foremost expert in psychoceramics, to determine what’s really got your pot cracked.

Just take a look at these real-life examples:

1. Diagnosis: Irritable Bowl Syndrome

Plea from a Toilet: The life of a toilet is much more stressful than people realize...  Please don't throw anything but toilet paper into my bowl. I just can't handle it right now.

2. Diagnosis: Gross motor skill impairment

Do not throw anything to toilet "please"

3. Diagnosis: Projection and Displacement behaviors potentially indicative of a narcissistic personality type…or too many episodes of The Sopranos

Take care of me and I will take care of you. I don't eat paper towels, baby wipes, napkins, or any female products. Sincerely, The Toilet.

(Thanks to Adam in New York, Janet in Northern Virginia, and Tamie in Tampa for their submissions…and apologies to any readers offended by the excessive use of puns.)

related: Five reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber

Tags: anthropomorphism · kinda creepy · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks"

If you don’t read this, the terrorists win! Do you hate America?

December 22nd, 2010 · 47 Comments

Did you hear? Jack Bauer is back again! He’s now working unofficially as the head of the Cubicle Counter Terrorism Unit. And apparently, he gets his best propaganda ideas right here at PAN!

IF YOU SPIT YOUR GUM INTO THE URINAL, THE TERRORISTS. WIN. DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

If you don't replace the toilet roll, the terrorists have won. Do you hate America?

If you don't make more coffee the terrorists win!!! Why do you hate america???

Coffee Pot Threat Level

HEY! Yeah, you. Do you hate America? Every wasted drop of water represents a victory for the terrorists. Please, show your patriotism: Turn off the sink. -Thanks!

If you don't replace the toilet paper, the terrorists win. Do you hate America?

(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance (the original “terrorists win” note)

Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · coffee · Copycat · misplaced patriotism · office cop · toilet paper

Well, that’s one way around that pesky “no eating in the library” rule

December 12th, 2010 · 53 Comments

Christian and John in Manchester, U.K. spotted this sign in the library of Manchester Metropolitan University…where the fridge thieves must be really, really ruthless (or the librarians very, very dotty).

This particular library, says John, “is where the vast majority of the university’s science and law students go. I have to wonder what sort of a university I go to if prospective engineers, biologists, chemists, physicists and lawyers have to be specifically asked not to put food in the toilet brush holders.”

Adds Christian: “I imagine a further note reading: ‘Please Do Not Poop On The Ceiling.’”

Please Do Not Put Food in the Toilet Brush Holders. Thank you!

Meanwhile, in Cambridge…further evidence of U.K. university students’ curious predilection for eating while toileting.

DUE TO MASSIVE CANINE INFESTATION WE MUST ASK YOU TO  PLEASE NOT LEAVE ANY UNCOVERED FOOD OUT IN THIS BATHROOM  THANK YOU HOUSEKEEPING

related: Pizza box as air freshener?

Tags: bathroom · Cambridge · college life · food · Manchester · U.K. · WTF?

Warning: Beware of banana peels, falling anvils, and wet paint

November 16th, 2010 · 54 Comments

“I’m sure they didn’t actually paint the toilet seats,” says Brett in Syracuse. And yet, he says, when he saw this sign posted by a former co-worker, “I couldn’t stop laughing about the idea that that’s what got her.”

Thank you for the sign stating there would be wet paint in the bathroom! (Yes! This IS passive aggressive!)

Perhaps a few signs like this (as spotted by Madeline at her university’s art studio) would have made for a proper rebuttal?

I'm not sure if this is wet

Maybe you should touch it.  That's what you do with wet paint, right?

related: Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

Tags: bathroom · college life · meta · office · sarcasm · smartass · thanks (but not really)