PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » toilet

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Kerry — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:17:04 +0000

Shaun in Austin spotted this mysterious complaint in the men’s room at his office. (Apparently all of the males employed there are very, very sensitive.)

Karma Police

Kerry — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:16:27 +0000

This is what you get when you mess with us:

In other words: You’re a creep. You’re a weirdo. What the hell are you doing here? You don’t belong here!

(Thanks to Bonnie from North Carolina, Eric in California, and Paperback Writer in Pittsburgh for their submissions!)

related: Karma’s a bitch.

Short on New Year’s resolutions? The janitor has a few suggestions for you.

Kerry — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:29:16 +0000

From the ladies’ room…

And the men’s room…

And the men’s room, one day later…

related: And a Happy New Year to you!

Hover & Flow(chart)

Kerry — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 06:58:34 +0000

Writes Erica in New York: “I don’t think this woman is aware that the aggressive automatic flush makes water splash all over the toilet seats…but she’s obviously very angry.”

related: Coffee pot flowchart

Couplets for the Commode

Kerry — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:00:55 +0000

You might think that the writer of nearly a dozen couplets on toilet etiquette would include at least one variation on the sprinkle/tinkle theme, but apparently the poet at work in this Nassau County government building doesn’t go for in that sort of cliché.

But wouldn’t you know it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely disgusting.”

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

The wrong kind of sticky pad

Kerry — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 23:23:12 +0000

I get that you’re trying to make a point here, lady…but…really?

(And if you just had to go go there, you could have least written, “Always put the toilet back down.” Just sayin’.)

Toy-let Story

Kerry — Tue, 31 May 2011 04:06:10 +0000

Beth in London says this is only the most recent in a series of sad/hungry/angry household items created by one of her flatmates. “We’re all fairly disorganised,” she admits, “but one guy, possibly fearful of confrontation, prefers to avoid addressing any issues directly.”

Adds Beth: “A loo-roll holder with eyes is not a very appealing bathroom companion, by the way.”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the United Kingdom, one of Emma’s flatmates decided to take a similarly cartoonish approach to their toilet troubles.

It’s a toilet, not your your asstray

Kerry — Wed, 25 May 2011 03:01:08 +0000

I don’t really want to know what “cigarette ashes” is supposed to mean in this context…

…but hey, look what I found on the Internets!

related: Your “Brown Friends”

No Bowl Movements Allowed

Kerry — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 02:41:47 +0000

From Jake in Richmond…another one for the “WTF?” files.

It’s not rocket science.

Kerry — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 01:27:28 +0000

Our submitter in Huntsville, Alabama says one of her male co-workers shared this note from the men’s restroom at their office. “And yes,” she says, “we really do work for NASA.”

By the way, if you’re traveling to Indonesia any time soon, you can pick up some papier-mâché materials of your very own!

extra credit: Mary Roach explains “fecal decapitation” and other toilet issues astronauts encounter in space [thedailyshow.com]

Headed to New Orleans for Mardi Gras?

Kerry — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 17:24:33 +0000

Well, ladies, you might want to bring your own TP. (Or carpet, as the case may be.) Erin from Baton Rouge says the bathroom/plumbing situation in New Orleans during Mardi Gras is the worst. At least at this bar they give you fair warning, eh?

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Stop “blocking your blessing”

Kerry — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 04:19:11 +0000

Jo spotted this testimony in a restroom at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

I guessing this particular portion of the Gospel of (the) John was lost in translation from the Greek or some such — a shame, cause “God doesn’t like ugly” would make a great protest sign.

Diagnosis: Toilet (an exercise in psychoceramics)

Kerry — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 00:06:40 +0000

Is your toilet acting up again? Has your plumber already thrown up his hands and said he’s done everything he can? Perhaps it’s time you turned to Dr. Josiah Carberry, foremost expert in psychoceramics, to determine what’s really got your pot cracked.

Just take a look at these real-life examples:

1. Diagnosis: Irritable Bowl Syndrome

2. Diagnosis: Gross motor skill impairment

3. Diagnosis: Projection and Displacement behaviors potentially indicative of a narcissistic personality type…or too many episodes of The Sopranos

(Thanks to Adam in New York, Janet in Northern Virginia, and Tamie in Tampa for their submissions…and apologies to any readers offended by the excessive use of puns.)

And heaven forbid a man even imagine cleaning a toilet himself…

Kerry — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 22:00:18 +0000

Katrina‘s husband spotted this sign in the men’s room of his office in Roswell, Georgia, shortly before the boss ordered it taken down. (The “…or I will cut you” part of the manager’s removal directive was implied, obviously. Because that’s just how they do things around there.)