Explains Johnny in Alabama: “My friend Lauren left this for my brother Jared when she let him stay at her house for a few weeks. Every day she would come home and have a glass of milk and iced coffee. One day, she discovered that Jared had emptied the milk once already and had replaced it with milk from the gas station. It wasn’t the ‘weird expensive milk that she buys,’ and to make matters worse, he hadn’t checked the expiration date. The second time it happened he accidentally put the empty carton back in the fridge and came home later to find this note” — complete with a ‘hidden’ message.

related: The Boy Who Drank All The Milk

Marcel in Montreal begins his story with the moral: “There are just some things you don’t mess with — vipers, rabid dogs, king cobras, black widows…and my mom.” His younger self, however, was far less wise. This is his tale.

For a long time, Marcel and his siblings had the irritating habit of drinking all the milk in the house late at night so that there was none left when their mother went to pour herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast the morning.

One day, Marcel and his siblings came home from school to find a batch of “the richest, most delicious brownies ever” sitting on the counter. Of course, they dug in immediately. But just as he was about to head to the fridge to pour himself a cold, tall glass of milk to wash down all that chocolate-y goodness, Marcel noticed this note from Mom hiding underneath the crumbs.

“Sacre bleu!” he cried, for sure enough, there was not a drop of milk to be found in the house. Leaving a trail of brownie crumbs behind him, he ran as fast as he could to the nearest dairy farm, where, shortly before hitting send on this submission, he was eaten by a very hungry wolf.

“Both Marcel and the brownies,” the wolf wrote, “were fucking delicious.”

related: The Boy Who Forgot to Clear His Browser History

In Manhattan, a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes triggered mayhem overshadowed only by an actual disaster.

In Minnesota, however, it seems that some folks still haven’t heard the news that “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”At our submitter’s office in Minneapolis, a proffered can of pumpkin spice tea sparked a Midwestern snark-off, complete with smilies.

related: Grow an orange tree and grow up

extra credit: The Inescapable Pumpkin Spice Trend [thekitchn.com]

Writes in Bill in New York City: “When the water cooler bottle is empty, no one seems to know how to change it and leaves it for the next guy.’ His co-worker decided to go on the offensive.

My excuse? I am even clumsier than Liz Lemon. (And I know I’m not alone on this.)

related: So, the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?

extra credit: Water cooler etiquette, or the thirsty worker’s manifesto [cnn.com]

Well, now that dog shaming is officially a thing…

…it was really only a matter of time before we moved onto the shaming of non-sentient beings.

related: Nutranot-so-sweet

“People steal other people’s food and drink so often in my office that security put up a notice,” says our submitter in Florida. “Apparently, the sign isn’t working.”

Instead, the notes left by the victims have turned into an ongoing office-wide joke.

And the latest contribution…

related: Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value!

Karen in Madison, Wisconsin says her daughter left this note on the fridge sometime between midnight and 6:30 am:

The following afternoon, her brother came back with this:

related: Lactose Intolerance

At Tazza’s office in Sydney, someone (not Harold, that much we know) was so offended by a coworker’s half-made cup of instant coffee that he or she felt obliged to leave this note.

related: Rage Against the (Coffee) Machine

extra credit: Men Being Jerks to Their Wives about Coffee [youtube]

extra extra credit: Who Made That Kraft Single? [nytimes.com]

Writes Steph in Toronto: “Most of the notices posted in the elevator of my condo building are pretty standard (fire alarm drills, etc.) but this one’s special. It just raises so many questions: Was the milk expired? Were they throwing it at someone? How much milk are we talking about that it’s a ‘matter of public safety’? I need to know!”

related: Urine in bottles thrown out windows is disgusting