Entries Tagged as 'beverages'

The nicest possible way

April 8th, 2014 · 64 Comments

Really? This is the nicest possible phrasing you could come up with?

I am going to say this in the nicest possible way: Who is the stupid idiot that keeps putting cans of soda and bottles of water in the freezer? Stop doing this. I am tired of cleaning up the messes you make!

I mean, this guy even said please.

Do NOT put cans of soda in the freezer!!!! They explode and get all over people's food! Please do not put them in the freezer!

(Thanks to Ben in Dallas and Allie in Orlando for submitting.)

 

related: Ice Box-ing

Tags: beverages · Coke · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office fridge

Pity the fool

April 2nd, 2014 · 41 Comments

Writes our submitter in Santa Rosa, CA: “Our office is full of people who like to take the last of the coffee and not take the time to brew a new pot. And not just on April Fool’s Day.”

April Fool's Day was yesterday. If you finish a carafe of coffee, please make another one.

related: Coffee pot flowchart

Tags: coffee · office

Trouble is brewing

March 9th, 2014 · 101 Comments

Writes Patrick in Wisconsin: “A member of our office staff prefers a lighter blend, while the rest of us tech guys prefer a cup of coffee that will actually wake us up.”

After the original laminated note spurred this tempest in a coffee pot, Patrick says that Ms. “Three Scoops” upped the ante by bringing in a second coffeemaker for her own personal use. The notes, however, remain.

3 Scoops of grounds brews a great pot of coffee.  If you like coffee so weak that you can see through it. If you're looking for mud, please see Starbucks. :) Considering that Starbucks is one of the most successful businesses in history, they probably know a thing or two about making coffee.  Good Point, and to continue your example, even Starbucks has a blonde roast. They found that many customers demanded a lighter coffee, because they didn't want swampwater. :-P  Note it is called Blonde Blend!  Crafty people discovered a long time ago that you can turn coffee that is too strong into weaker coffee by simply adding water. However to turn (brown) water into something else, one needs the power of the almighty.

related: Coffee-brewing for engineers

Tags: a matter of taste · coffee · office · saga · Starbucks

Just look at all the fonts I give!

January 16th, 2014 · 73 Comments

So, how many on-the-clock hours do you reckon this piece of word art took to create?

Please do NOT dump crockery & cutlery in the sink. This is *not* your private teastation. Use the Dishwasher (it's right in front of you) DON'T BE LAZY Be Tidy Tea Spoons also go in the DISHWASHER THIS IS A SHARED KITCHEN Show courtesy to your Colleagues We're not your SLAVES Shame on the offenders NO DUMPING Thank you!!

related: The “more is more” principle of design

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · Comic Sans Alert · Ireland · tea

404 error: water not found

January 12th, 2014 · 43 Comments

Aaron works at a web design and development company in Houston where he the water cooler is chronically empty. Writes Aaron: “Other notes have been written in the past, but this time I feel the javascript developers are being specifically targeted.”

404 error: water not found

related: But…changing the water cooler bottle is hard!

Tags: Houston · nerd alert · office · water

The nuts and bolts of soda pop safety

July 23rd, 2013 · 88 Comments

Stephen in Maryland build this contraption after his sixth or seventh soda was stolen out of the office fridge. “My boss told me there was nothing I or he could do about it,” Stephen says, but he thought he’d give it a shot anyway. “I went a little overboard,” he admits, “But so far, no one’s been able to defeat the system.”

Like The Club® anti-theft device for the Office Fridge

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: beverages · Maryland · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · stealing

Drink my Coca-Cola…and the terrorists win

June 1st, 2013 · 66 Comments

Ana in Kentucky spotted this epic on the faculty fridge at the school where she works.

Dear Coke-I-leave-on-the-door-thief, As a child who grew up in the depression era, I come from humble beginnings. I have learned to take pleasures in the simple things in life; the river, the trees in spring, the wonderment in children's eyes...As I move forward through another morning, my caffeine deprived brain and I ponder silently the consequences of your actions. Have you no pride? Have you no shame? As a part time Aid and Para Professional, my compensation for said duties is not as lucrative or rewarding as the joy my heart feels when a student finally reaches their potential academically, spiritually, and emotionally. I beg you, kind sir or ma'am, to consider the effects your actions have on my ability to produce God-fearing citizens of this democracy. May I suggest that you help yourself to any of the half-empty Sprite bottles or outdated rotten apples that I tend to leave in the same general vicinity as my valued Coke product? May you never feel the pain of eating peanut butter at 10am and having nothing to drink except something called

related: Take my last Diet Coke from the fridge and I WILL cut you.

Tags: Coke · Kentucky · Louisville · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · schools & teachers · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children?

The Message on the Milk Carton

February 4th, 2013 · 71 Comments

Explains Johnny in Alabama: “My friend Lauren left this for my brother Jared when she let him stay at her house for a few weeks. Every day she would come home and have a glass of milk and iced coffee. One day, she discovered that Jared had emptied the milk once already and had replaced it with milk from the gas station. It wasn’t the ‘weird expensive milk that she buys,’ and to make matters worse, he hadn’t checked the expiration date. The second time it happened he accidentally put the empty carton back in the fridge and came home later to find this note” — complete with a ‘hidden’ message.

Friday I walked into the house after a long day at work. It had been a great day  until I entered the kitchen, at which point I found that the milk was gone. Who  could have done this? I had just bought that milk yesterday! When I left it in the  kitchen I'd even written my name on it. You were the only person in the house, sir. I know it was you that left me to drink  orange juice. I am not mad, just disappointed. Fortunately for you, I am a kind and  understanding friend, and I only ask that you replace what you've taken.  BUY MORE MILK AND IT BETTER BE ORGANIC NOT THAT SHIT YOU GOT AT THE GAS STATION LAST TIME.

related: The Boy Who Drank All The Milk

Tags: Alabama · milk · most popular notes of 2013

The Boy Who Drank All the Milk: A first-world fable

January 23rd, 2013 · 60 Comments

Marcel in Montreal begins his story with the moral: “There are just some things you don’t mess with — vipers, rabid dogs, king cobras, black widows…and my mom.” His younger self, however, was far less wise. This is his tale.

For a long time, Marcel and his siblings had the irritating habit of drinking all the milk in the house late at night so that there was none left when their mother went to pour herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast the morning.

One day, Marcel and his siblings came home from school to find a batch of “the richest, most delicious brownies ever” sitting on the counter. Of course, they dug in immediately. But just as he was about to head to the fridge to pour himself a cold, tall glass of milk to wash down all that chocolate-y goodness, Marcel noticed this note from Mom hiding underneath the crumbs.

Maybe next time you'll think before you drink all the milk and don't replace it!! xoxo ? Mom

“Sacre bleu!” he cried, for sure enough, there was not a drop of milk to be found in the house. Leaving a trail of brownie crumbs behind him, he ran as fast as he could to the nearest dairy farm, where, shortly before hitting send on this submission, he was eaten by a very hungry wolf.

“Both Marcel and the brownies,” the wolf wrote, “were fucking delicious.”

related: The Boy Who Forgot to Clear His Browser History

Tags: heart · milk · Moms & Dads · Montreal · Mother-son notes · signed with love · xoxo

Pumpkin Spice & Minnesota Nice

November 14th, 2012 · 19 Comments

In Manhattan, a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes triggered mayhem overshadowed only by an actual disaster.

In Minnesota, however, it seems that some folks still haven’t heard the news that “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”At our submitter’s office in Minneapolis, a proffered can of pumpkin spice tea sparked a Midwestern snark-off, complete with smilies.

enjoy. Tastes better than it smells then why don't you drink it :) Now now children I AM NOT A CHILD!! sounds like somebody has mommy issues

related: Grow an orange tree and grow up

extra credit: The Inescapable Pumpkin Spice Trend [thekitchn.com]

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · note wars · office · smartass · smiley · tea