At Tazza’s office in Sydney, someone (not Harold, that much we know) was so offended by a coworker’s half-made cup of instant coffee that he or she felt obliged to leave this note.
related: Rage Against the (Coffee) Machine
extra credit: Men Being Jerks to Their Wives about Coffee [youtube]
extra extra credit: Who Made That Kraft Single? [nytimes.com]
Tags: Australia · coffee · office · Sydney · unsolicited feedback
Pat in London works for a large office, where, unfortunately for the many java addicts on staff, the coffeemaker has a habit of breaking down. Also, Pat says, “It’s an advertising agency, so there are lots of grammar pedants.” The result?
Tags: coffee · London · note wars · office · smartass · spelling and grammar police
Putting decaf in the regular coffee pot? Now that’s just evil taken a step too far.
The decaf’s response:
Tags: coffee · Michigan · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · office
This physics lesson was posted in the communal kitchen of Oxford University’s department of psychiatry.
“You would think that these people would be masters of communication,” our submitter says. “Evidently, not so much.”
![A lesson in Newtonian Physics: If a spoon is washed in water, something it is very right and proper to be done, it still has residual water on it, unless dried. If the spoon is placed on the draining board concave side up, gravitational force causes the water to sink into the concavity forming a puddle that is dependent on evaporation to remove it. If a male (it could only be a male) uses the bepuddled spoon to make himself coffee, water may get into the coffee tin and cause aggregation of the grounds which are hygyroscopic. This is given by these equations which are examples of a chaotic system (a Henon map) [equations] The solution to this problem is possibly too complex for members of this Department, but requires people to leave spoons convex side up.](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2318/5824002603_b918944f98_b.jpg "A lesson in Newtonian Physics: If a spoon is washed in water, something it is very right and proper to be done, it still has residual water on it, unless dried. If the spoon is placed on the draining board concave side up, gravitational force causes the water to sink into the concavity forming a puddle that is dependent on evaporation to remove it. If a male (it could only be a male) uses the bepuddled spoon to make himself coffee, water may get into the coffee tin and cause aggregation of the grounds which are hygyroscopic. This is given by these equations which are examples of a chaotic system (a Henon map) [equations] The solution to this problem is possibly too complex for members of this Department, but requires people to leave spoons convex side up.")
In Australia, meanwhile, it seems they prefer not to beat around the bush* — at least when it comes to wet spoons.
related: The Ph.D’s approach to air conditioning units
*bad pun intended
Tags: a little patronizing · Australia · coffee · college life · note wars · office · spoons · U.K.
Stephanie in Kansas City, Missouri found this warning posted on the fridge after lunch today:
![Whoever eat [sic] my pizza today....remember Rapture is coming tomorrow!!!!](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5110/5740106995_2175b09c0a.jpg "Whoever eat [sic] my pizza today....remember Rapture is coming tomorrow!!!!")
Around the same time, this note showed up on an office coffee-maker in Washington, D.C.:
Meanwhile, Ashley in Greenville, North Carolina forwards this example of a veiled threat, atheist-style:
related: Remember, God is watching you!
Tags: bathroom · coffee · D.C. · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · Kansas City · North Carolina · pizza · roommates · soap · stealing · washing your hands
This isn’t the first “coffee-maker etiquette” flowchart I’ve seen, but it is the most aesthetically pleasing.
Says Sarah in St. Louis: “The IT department in our office is notorious for drinking the last of the coffee without making more.” (Note the subtle “I heart C++” mug.) Apparently, one of her co-workers thought breaking things down into engineer-speak might help.
Meanwhile, in Toledo, Ohio…a variation tailored to a slightly different audience:
related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts
Tags: coffee · etiquette · flow chart · Jesus · most popular notes of 2011 · office · St. Louis · Toledo · visual aids
Writes Justin in Salem, Massachusetts: “It was the middle of the recent blizzard and we had gone for a drive in the worst of the weather (because that’s what you do for fun when you drive a Jeep) and decided to stop for a cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts” (because that’s what you do for fun if you’re a New Englander).
Upon arrival, Justin and his companion were greeted with this heartfelt note of congratulations from the Dunkin’ Donuts snowstorm staff (Rick).
![YOU HAVE RISKED YOU'RE [sic] LIFE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE! Congrats xoxo Love, The Dunk's Staff (Rick)](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5168/5298799114_20737dcd61.jpg "YOU HAVE RISKED YOU'RE [sic] LIFE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE! Congrats xoxo Love, The Dunk's Staff (Rick)")
related: Dunkin’ Donuts Employee of the Month
Tags: "customer service" · coffee · driving · most popular notes of 2010 · signed with love · snow · xoxo · your/you're
Did you hear? Jack Bauer is back again! He’s now working unofficially as the head of the Cubicle Counter Terrorism Unit. And apparently, he gets his best propaganda ideas right here at PAN!
(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)
related: Five approaches to TP maintenance (the original “terrorists win” note)
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · coffee · Copycat · misplaced patriotism · office cop · toilet paper
From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.
And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:
related: Nutra-not-so-sweet
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · coffee · Colorado · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · heart · It's science! · Jacksonville · office · spoons
