Entries Tagged as 'Coke'

The nicest possible way

April 8th, 2014 · 63 Comments

Really? This is the nicest possible phrasing you could come up with?

I am going to say this in the nicest possible way: Who is the stupid idiot that keeps putting cans of soda and bottles of water in the freezer? Stop doing this. I am tired of cleaning up the messes you make!

I mean, this guy even said please.

Do NOT put cans of soda in the freezer!!!! They explode and get all over people's food! Please do not put them in the freezer!

(Thanks to Ben in Dallas and Allie in Orlando for submitting.)

 

related: Ice Box-ing

Tags: beverages · Coke · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office fridge

Drink my Coca-Cola…and the terrorists win

June 1st, 2013 · 70 Comments

Ana in Kentucky spotted this epic on the faculty fridge at the school where she works.

Dear Coke-I-leave-on-the-door-thief, As a child who grew up in the depression era, I come from humble beginnings. I have learned to take pleasures in the simple things in life; the river, the trees in spring, the wonderment in children's eyes...As I move forward through another morning, my caffeine deprived brain and I ponder silently the consequences of your actions. Have you no pride? Have you no shame? As a part time Aid and Para Professional, my compensation for said duties is not as lucrative or rewarding as the joy my heart feels when a student finally reaches their potential academically, spiritually, and emotionally. I beg you, kind sir or ma'am, to consider the effects your actions have on my ability to produce God-fearing citizens of this democracy. May I suggest that you help yourself to any of the half-empty Sprite bottles or outdated rotten apples that I tend to leave in the same general vicinity as my valued Coke product? May you never feel the pain of eating peanut butter at 10am and having nothing to drink except something called

related: Take my last Diet Coke from the fridge and I WILL cut you.

Tags: Coke · Kentucky · Louisville · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · schools & teachers · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children?

Grow an orange tree and grow up.

March 8th, 2012 · 38 Comments

Oh goody, this argument again!

TOO MUCH NASTY COCA-COLA NOT ENOUGH OJ! O.J has been set free! Take a stab at it :) What? This is a Coke machine! Grow an orange tree and grow up. While we're all voicing our idiotic opinions, may I suggest that this machine carry booze? Think on it. 4LOCO mofo!

related: Enough with the fruit juices and diet sodas!

Tags: beverages · Coke · most popular notes of 2012 · note wars · vending machine drama

Karma Police

January 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

This is what you get when you mess with us:

If you "attempt" to throw something away & miss or if the trashcan is already full & you pile it on top, or if the bag has fallen in & you don't fit it & just add your disgusting garbage to it, then WE HATE YOU! Don't worry about who "WE" are, just worry about cleaning up after yourself. IT IS BAD KARMA to leave your trash lying around!!! <3 the karma police have a nice day! :)

In other words: You’re a creep. You’re a weirdo. What the hell are you doing here? You don’t belong here!

SODA in H2O cups is BAD KARMA

Please help prevent bad karma: DO NOT flush feminine hygiene products.  Place in waste basket.  Thank you, Management.

(Thanks to Bonnie from North Carolina, Eric in California, and Paperback Writer in Pittsburgh for their submissions!)

 

related: Karma’s a bitch.

Tags: Coke · garbage · have a nice day · karma's a bitch · smiley · toilet

Nutranot-so-sweet

July 27th, 2009 · 196 Comments

Writes Emily in Austin: “In the notewriter’s defense, this machine has also given me regular Coke when I have pressed ‘Coke Zero’ on many an occasion,  so when I saw this note, I thought I had figured it out. If I wanted Coke Zero, I just had to push the button for regular Coke. (I did…and it gave me regular Coke. Bitch!”) Meanwhile, on top of the machine was a can of Diet Coke and a can of Coke Zero with a note saying: ‘NOT Coke!’ After I took the picture, of course I took that Coke Zero and drank it.”

To: Coke Machine Person

Diet Coke just can’t get no love…certainly not in Williamsburg, Virginia, as Grace from D.C. discovered.

Repent, Coke Guy, Repent!

related: the real thing

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Coke · Diet Coke · pleasantries as afterthought · vending machine drama · you're like so going to hell

The real thing

February 26th, 2009 · 97 Comments

Our submitter is Santa Fe says not everyone at the New Mexico Department of Health was happy when the folks in charge decided to call their own bullshit and replace the candy and sodas in the vending machine with new “healthy” snacks.

(There is still a “junk food” vending machine in the building just one flight up, our submitter notes, but dammit if the boss man is gonna force full-grown adults to exercise!)

ENOUGH WITH THE FRUIT JUICES & DIET SODAS! I AM A FULL GROWN ADULT! I ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY CHOICES! I WANT A REAL COKE!

related: Blame it on Coke

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Coke · raging against the machine · Santa Fe · vending machine drama

Blame it on Coke

December 6th, 2007 · 158 Comments

Casey from Shreveport, Louisiana spotted this on the Coke machine in the office break room. she clarifies: “Henry G.’s comment is in reference to the increase in price, not Katie’s wanting more Coke Zero.”

Due to the rising cost of soft drinks, the price of drinks has gone up to $1.25. We are sorry for the inconvenience this may cause. (! want COKE ZERO back! I'll buy more, I promise.)

Meanwhile, Breanna in L.A. saw this somewhat amusing notice in a liquor store on the corner of Hollywood and Wine. (“Did someone pee on it?” she wonders.)

Sorry for the incontinent, Coke Company has neglected to repair the cooler.

related: I’d like to buy the world a…Gatorade?

Tags: Coke · group bitchfest · Los Angeles · not my fault · office · raging against the machine · Say wha? · Shreveport · spelling and grammar police · vending machine drama

I’d like to buy the world a…Gatorade?

October 17th, 2007 · 207 Comments

Keith spotted this note in the employee break room of a clothing store outside of Hartford, Conn.

The kicker? According to the employees, says Keith, “After the note was posted, the guy spitefully mixed the selection buttons up even worse.”

Dear Vending Machine Person.  Please make sure that your are changing the selection tabs when you update the drinks. Gatorade (although delicious) is not Iced Tea, and Fanta is not Iced Tea, neither is Coke. Thanks for your cooperation.

(Altogether now: “that Gatorade is…”)

related: fucking delicious

Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · Coke · Connecticut · Hartford · vending machine drama

Um, Rene Hall?

August 30th, 2007 · 98 Comments

Meric spotted this sign in melbourne while going to the launderette a few doors down. The bizarre thing, says Meric, is that it’s in a shop window. “I have no idea what kind of dastardly person would steal poor Dave’s bananas, but every time I walked past it I laughed so much a little bit of wet came out.”

WHO THE FUCK DRANK ALL MY COKE? AND DAVE'S BANANAS?

Meric adds, “I left Australia in August, so I’m not sure if it’s still there. But these pictures were taken in June on Nicholson Street, Carlton North, Melbourne if anyone from around there would like to check up and see.” P-A detective squad, Melbourne bureau: consider yourselves on the case.

Meanwhile, Sarah in Alexandria says she faced a similar disappearing Coke problem at her office. “At first I tried keeping them all in the box with a large note on the outside opening with my name on it. Apparently that wasn’t enough because cans were still ending up missing, so I added to the note ‘please do not drink’ because maybe someone thought I was leaving my name there so that they would know who to thank (or not to thank, rather) for the free Cokes. Cans were still being taken though, so I decided to resort to the only tactic I have ever known to work on assholes who have no regard whatsoever for others: I threatened their own well-being.”

I licked the top of every can and I'm sick...Try Me

Adds Sarah, “I actually did lick the cans too, and I was genuinely sick. After that note, I was able to enjoy my Cokes without having to worry. The only person who this tactic has yet to work on is my dad.”

Tags: Australia · bananas · beverages · Coke · food · Melbourne · not-so-veiled threats · revenge · stealing · Virginia