Explains Johnny in Alabama: “My friend Lauren left this for my brother Jared when she let him stay at her house for a few weeks. Every day she would come home and have a glass of milk and iced coffee. One day, she discovered that Jared had emptied the milk once already and had replaced it with milk from the gas station. It wasn’t the ‘weird expensive milk that she buys,’ and to make matters worse, he hadn’t checked the expiration date. The second time it happened he accidentally put the empty carton back in the fridge and came home later to find this note” — complete with a ‘hidden’ message.

related: The Boy Who Drank All The Milk

Marcel in Montreal begins his story with the moral: “There are just some things you don’t mess with — vipers, rabid dogs, king cobras, black widows…and my mom.” His younger self, however, was far less wise. This is his tale.

For a long time, Marcel and his siblings had the irritating habit of drinking all the milk in the house late at night so that there was none left when their mother went to pour herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast the morning.

One day, Marcel and his siblings came home from school to find a batch of “the richest, most delicious brownies ever” sitting on the counter. Of course, they dug in immediately. But just as he was about to head to the fridge to pour himself a cold, tall glass of milk to wash down all that chocolate-y goodness, Marcel noticed this note from Mom hiding underneath the crumbs.

“Sacre bleu!” he cried, for sure enough, there was not a drop of milk to be found in the house. Leaving a trail of brownie crumbs behind him, he ran as fast as he could to the nearest dairy farm, where, shortly before hitting send on this submission, he was eaten by a very hungry wolf.

“Both Marcel and the brownies,” the wolf wrote, “were fucking delicious.”

related: The Boy Who Forgot to Clear His Browser History

Karen in Madison, Wisconsin says her daughter left this note on the fridge sometime between midnight and 6:30 am:

The following afternoon, her brother came back with this:

related: Lactose Intolerance

Writes Steph in Toronto: “Most of the notices posted in the elevator of my condo building are pretty standard (fire alarm drills, etc.) but this one’s special. It just raises so many questions: Was the milk expired? Were they throwing it at someone? How much milk are we talking about that it’s a ‘matter of public safety’? I need to know!”

related: Urine in bottles thrown out windows is disgusting

This martyr alert spotted by Randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in Chico, California…

related: hostile takeover

A possibly prescient note from the offices of Yahoo! U.K….

related: just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

From Lindsay in Burbank:

Says the author of post-it #2: “The next day, she added a note that said, ‘Keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”

And from Jason in New Haven:

(To the left, the original note. To the right, the response.)

If you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not that far off.