Entries Tagged as 'beverages'

Soda shaming

August 23rd, 2012 · 48 Comments

Well, now that dog shaming is officially a thing…

I wasn’t invited to Shakespeare in the Park so I ate all the Shakespeare off the bookshelf.

…it was really only a matter of time before we moved onto the shaming of non-sentient beings.

I am a FRAUD. I hid in the slot where Dr. pepper is supposed to be so that someone has to buy me and drink my horrible flavor. She took two drinks, cursed me, and made me wear this note in shame.

related: Nutranot-so-sweet

Tags: beverages · public shaming · San Antonio · vending machine drama

Missing: Red Gatorade. Answers to the name “Wally.”

August 6th, 2012 · 23 Comments

“People steal other people’s food and drink so often in my office that security put up a notice,” says our submitter in Florida. “Apparently, the sign isn’t working.”

Instead, the notes left by the victims have turned into an ongoing office-wide joke.

DID YOU TAKE A RED GATORADE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? Do the right thing and replace it...or else!

And the latest contribution…

Missing: Red Gatorade. Cold, Refreshing, Thirst Quenching. Last seen inside the breakroom fridge. Answers to the name Wally. Hopefully picked up by accident. If you know where my Gatorade is,

related: Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value!

Tags: beverages · note wars · office fridge · smartass · stealing

Spilled Milk Carton Kids

August 3rd, 2012 · 23 Comments

Karen in Madison, Wisconsin says her daughter left this note on the fridge sometime between midnight and 6:30 am:

If you are going to leave an open bottle of milk on its side in the fridge, make sure the cap is ALL the way on!!! I'm angry with you. >:(

The following afternoon, her brother came back with this:

*ATTENTION* If you ever want to see your milk cap again place 100 dollars in the envelope below

related: Lactose Intolerance

Tags: family · Madison · milk

Oh, and about that “cheese” in your Vegemite & Cheese sandwich…

June 6th, 2012 · 55 Comments

At Tazza’s office in Sydney, someone (not Harold, that much we know) was so offended by a coworker’s half-made cup of instant coffee that he or she felt obliged to leave this note.

This is NOT coffee! Why are you doing this to yourself? :-|

related: Rage Against the (Coffee) Machine

extra credit: Men Being Jerks to Their Wives about Coffee [youtube]

extra extra credit: Who Made That Kraft Single? [nytimes.com]

Tags: Australia · coffee · office · Sydney · unsolicited feedback

Lactose Intolerance

May 25th, 2012 · 51 Comments

Writes Steph in Toronto: “Most of the notices posted in the elevator of my condo building are pretty standard (fire alarm drills, etc.) but this one’s special. It just raises so many questions: Was the milk expired? Were they throwing it at someone? How much milk are we talking about that it’s a ‘matter of public safety’? I need to know!”

We have received reports of a resident throwing MILK off their balcony on the southeast side of the building. This is disgusting, unsanitary, and extremely messy for the residents below you. Do not ever throw or drop anything off your balcony – this is a matter of public safety as well as cleanliness, and legal charges will be pursued against any resident caught doing this at any time. We expect all residents to treat this building with courtesy and respect. Remember – this is your home too.

related: Urine in bottles thrown out windows is disgusting

Tags: milk · that's unsanitary · Toronto · WTF?

60% of the time it works every time

May 5th, 2012 · 30 Comments

Pat in London works for a large office, where, unfortunately for the many java addicts on staff, the coffeemaker has a habit of breaking down. Also, Pat says, “It’s an advertising agency, so there are lots of grammar pedants.” The result?

OUT OF ORDER - engineer called - I SAID OUT OF ORDER - WHICH MEANS NO YOU CANNOT HAVE A COFFEE - Well...you can try if you feel lucky... - There is another coffee machine on the fifth floor - But no toilets... - Except for the two that are there... - LOUD NOISES - 60% of the time it works every time - Stop wasting VALUABLe office stationary - <--stationery --- WRITE RESPONSIBLY -- Nothing in this place works! -- I prefer tea anyway :(

related: Just be glad you don’t know what’s in the coffee

Tags: coffee · London · note wars · office · smartass · spelling and grammar police

Grow an orange tree and grow up.

March 8th, 2012 · 38 Comments

Oh goody, this argument again!

TOO MUCH NASTY COCA-COLA NOT ENOUGH OJ! O.J has been set free! Take a stab at it :) What? This is a Coke machine! Grow an orange tree and grow up. While we're all voicing our idiotic opinions, may I suggest that this machine carry booze? Think on it. 4LOCO mofo!

related: Enough with the fruit juices and diet sodas!

Tags: beverages · Coke · most popular notes of 2012 · note wars · vending machine drama

Rage Against the (Coffee) Machine

February 16th, 2012 · 77 Comments

Putting decaf in the regular coffee pot? Now that’s just evil taken a step too far.

To the person putting decaf coffee into the 'regular' coffee pot: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop putting decaf into the regular coffee pot now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, and I will find you. - Edin Good Luck!

The decaf’s response:

recent: The British version of the above note

Tags: coffee · Michigan · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · office

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