Entries Tagged as 'beverages'
Mothers truly skilled in the art of passive-aggression don’t need much to make their feelings known.
Just ask Rachel in Boston, who recently finished a three-semester master’s program a few months later than expected. “My mom was less than thrilled that my nine classmates finished on time while I struggled to edit my final paper,” Rachel says. “When I finally finished, we had a small graduation party, and she presented me with this gem of a cake.”
Meanwhile, writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “My mother has a bit of a ‘thing’ against any sort of carbonated beverage and constantly refers to diet soda as ‘the devil’s brew.’ I recently bought a little pack of the mini-cans of Diet Coke, and left one on the computer desk. After arriving home one evening, I found that my mother had kindly re-labeled one of my empty cans for me.”
In recognition of this particular skill, Amazon.com has apparently farmed out the writing of their suggested “PayPhrases” to stay-at-home Moms across the country…as Jessica in California noticed, on a double-take.
related: Is your blog kid-tested, Mom-approved?
Tags: Boston · cake · Diet Coke · Madison · Moms & Dads
So, you don’t want to share your super-special non-dairy creamer/handsoap with the rest of the office?
You could go for the semi-direct approach…
But as Ocie in Petaluma, California witnessed, that might not be enough of a deterrent.
In that case, you could try to dial up the crazy a little more, like Nicole in Florida…
Or you just might have to get a little bit creative.
“Truth be told,” says Mick in McLean, Virginia, “I never did check to see what was in the container.” (Which I guess was kinda the point, right?)
related: I, who should seriously lay off the caffeine
Tags: California · coffee · New York · Northern Virginia · office fridge · Orlando · piss · stealing · Texas
This first note, spotted by Nick, is from a school in New Jersey; the second, from DeAnna and Shawn, was taken at a school in Stony Brook, New York. Apart from those details… not really all that different, eh?
(I don’t think Monopoly-land has universal health care, though.)
Love you, Canada! And your loonies, too.
related: putting 50 pennies in here is a hostile act
Tags: beverages · Canada · money · New Jersey · New York
“Due to budget issues,” writes our submitter from Nashville, “coffee in our office is now funded through donations by those who drink it.” (Cost: 50 cents per cup, on the honor system.)
While some office workers no doubt continue to fill their cups without paying, the passive-aggressives in this office found their own way to convey their distaste for the new policy.
related: Paying through the spout
extra credit: Phasing out pennies in a bid for change [NPR.org]
Tags: coffee · money · Nashville · office
At least a half-dozen submitters (including Spencer, Kelsae, and Mark) would pick this one — from a pizzeria in Provo, Utah.
“For those who don’t know, “lower kingdoms” comes from Mormon theology, where they believe that people are sorted out into three kingdoms instead of the traditional heaven and hell option,” Kelsae says.
Adds Spencer: “There’s a stack of plastic cups in the public’s reach for use either for water or soda, depending on whether you paid or not. The influence this business avers on final judgment, combined with overt Mormon theology (the the staff signatures include both Captain Moroni and Nephite #2) made me both wince and chuckle.”
related: nosy Provo neighbors
Tags: beverages · Jesus · Provo · restaurant · Utah · you're like so going to hell
“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.
UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room of her Ithaca, New York office).
While Mel doesn’t disagree with the sentiment behind the note, “It’s a bit off-putting to be presumed guilty of theft before the fact,” she says. “Also, there seems to be a degree of randomness to the number of exclamation points at the end of each line.” (And of course, that dandy of a sheriff.)
related: Straight out of the Michael Scott Playbook
Tags: bold underlined italics · bullet points · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Illinois · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police
Writes Tim: “I work at one of the better specialty coffee shops in Portland, Oregon. Some people come in knowing that we can prepare a fantastic drink, but don’t actually know what they like or how to order it. And sometimes these people decide to write a note expressing their displeasure instead of simply asking us to remake their drink.”
Adds Tim: “For the record, these two women ordered a 16 oz. caramel latte and a 16 oz. mocha, which are certainly going to be sweeter and less espresso-forward drinks than our more traditional, non-flavored drinks. And if these two actually visited regularly, they would also know that we don’t have 16 oz. ceramic mugs, which means all 16 oz. drinks are served in paper cups.”
related: An extra bold request
Tags: coffee · cranky barista · Portland
Another sign of the times: Nick in Tampa, Florida says the sodas in his small office used to be free, but now they cost 50 cents. And yet, Nick says, “when they’re left out unguarded and unsecured, naturally, people steal them.”
Eventually, one coworker thought instilling the fear of god would make for a good theft-deterrent…which inspired another coworker to quote scripture in protest of the new drink policy.
related: no, He uses vaseline
Tags: Diet Coke · Jesus · most popular notes of 2009 · office · oh snap · stealing · Tampa
Writes Emily in Austin: “In the notewriter’s defense, this machine has also given me regular Coke when I have pressed ‘Coke Zero’ on many an occasion, so when I saw this note, I thought I had figured it out. If I wanted Coke Zero, I just had to push the button for regular Coke. (I did…and it gave me regular Coke. Bitch!”) Meanwhile, on top of the machine was a can of Diet Coke and a can of Coke Zero with a note saying: ‘NOT Coke!’ After I took the picture, of course I took that Coke Zero and drank it.”
Diet Coke just can’t get no love…certainly not in Williamsburg, Virginia, as Grace from D.C. discovered.
related: the real thing
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Coke · Diet Coke · pleasantries as afterthought · vending machine drama · you're like so going to hell
This martyr alert spotted by Randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in Chico, California…
related: Coffee, mate?
Tags: California · coffee · martyr complex · milk · office fridge · thanks (but not really)