PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » bicycle

To the person who sawed me in half last night

Kerry — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 01:35:15 +0000

Writes Kris from Texas: “As much as I despise the writing-a-note-from-the-POV-of-an-inanimate-object technique so familiar from my years in college, I have to feel this bike owner’s pain. I also really love the blood-gushing-from-the bike drawing.”

related: With a chainsaw?

Sorry for the re-stealing

Kerry — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 03:33:07 +0000

Yup, says submitter Jeff in D.C., “that is the broken bike lock on top of the note.”

I’m imagining this notewriter totally whaling on that lock, rejoicing in triumph as the kidnapped bike is freed, and then, in a parting act of contrition, whipping out the Yorkie stationery, and I think the only thing more amusing would be if the cops showed up at precisely that moment.

The mystery of the bum-scratching bike thief

Kerry — Wed, 05 May 2010 00:00:23 +0000

I’d like to imagine that this note, spotted by Michael in Sydney, Australia…

And this note, documented by Ron in Michigan…

…are both connected by one shamelessly bum-scratching female bicyclist.

Ladri di biciclette

Kerry — Mon, 11 May 2009 08:00:40 +0000

Failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:

1. Assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in Italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.

2. Feigning empathy for said thief.

3. Chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.

(Grazie mille to Nadia in Melbourne, Chris in Amsterdam, and Tom in London for submitting!)

related: No, Daddy, I asked for a Wii!

…and forgive us our trespasses

Kerry — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:00:15 +0000

Writes Kerry in Brooklyn: “I just moved into a new apartment, and they don’t have secured outside parking for bikes. My place is NYC-sized, so naturally I decided to lock one of my bikes to the banister right outside my door. Apparently that’s a big no-no in the building.”

Meanwhile, Melanie in Newport, Rhode Island spotted this on the lawn of the Salvation Army in her neighborhood, adding “I, for one, certainly applaud whomever had the baguettes to do such a thing.”

No, Daddy, I asked for a Wii!

Kerry — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 21:30:37 +0000

Libby from Sydney, Australia found this note taped to the wall of the IGA supermarket in Newtown, Sydney. “Feeling sympathetic though somewhat amused, I took a photo of it — I didn’t really think it would be fair to take it with me.” (That is, of course, more than can be said for a certain junkie scumbag lowlife.)

related: an inconvenient truth

Desperate times

Kerry — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 20:48:46 +0000

Need another sign we’re officially in a recession? How ’bout three?

related: “no” questions asked

An inconvenient truth

Kerry — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:00:03 +0000

Al Gore would likely be pleased hear that Marc in San Diego rides his bike (a vintage blue Colnago) to work in the mornings. A certain evangelical bike messenger, however, was less than impressed.

Marc says he’s since ditched his old cable lock. “After this note taught me the error of my ways, I now keep my bike inside where it’s safe.”