“My roommate in college was allergic to everything,” says Casey in Watsonville, California — and she talked about it ad nauseam. “For her birthday sophomore year, we went to buy her a cake but of course she was allergic to everything good. So in the end, I just got a cake I liked and we [...]

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Writes Ben in Snohomish, Washington: “We visit my aunt the same amount we visit the rest of our extended family, but for some reason she takes it personally that we don’t do so daily. She took the occasion of my son’s 11th birthday to take a shot at us.”

related: my condolences on your birthday

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Caitlin was browsing in an antique store in Waco, Texas when she ran across this gem dated April 4, 1910. So if you’ve ever heard someone blame passive-aggressive birthday badgering on this new-fangled facetweet technology…well, you might want to refer them to Vera.

related: happy birthday. here’s the shovel.

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Daniel is Montreal says his dear grandmother sent him this card in the mail for his birthday. The front of the card (which didn’t scan very well) says: It is not what is visible on the surface but what is deep inside that sustains us.
Well, says Daniel, “that and guilt.”

related: Dear Grandma — thanks, I [...]

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Seriously, how much do you want to _____ this guy in the _____ right now?  (you fill in the blank)

Next year, I think this guy and this girl should collaborate on a gigantic fucking birthday pity party.
related: you know, I’m getting input here that is relatively hostile
extra credit: Facebook is for narcissists

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Andrea in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin says her friend McKenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from Mom.
(You can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)

related: when a card just won’t do

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Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my 6-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in canada.”
(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus [...]

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…because there’s no measure of self-worth more important than the public acknowledgment that you were, in fact, born.

related: but…but…i didn’t forget!

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I’ll admit, my first thought upon reading this note — found in the hallways of an American high school — was something along the lines of “Argh, kids today, with their chatspeak!” Can we all agree that adolescent girls are probably the most passive-aggressive creatures on earth?

related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten

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Writes Halley in Idaho: “Yeahhh, that’s my mom and my grandpa right there. (This is what happens when old people join Facebook.)”

related: busted by facebook
extra credit: facebook embroidery

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My Grandma Cookie is 85 today! Won’t you join me in wishing her love, joy and a good day?

And please, she’s got early bird reservations at the hibachi restaurant at 6 p.m. (Florida time, natch), so step on it, won’tcha?
related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: the blue mountain arts [...]

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amy spotted this attached to a mailbox in monroe, north carolina. writes amy:  “i have no idea which flower it was (there were many that were still left on the porch), but i was impressed by the effort the victim took with this note — it was written on poster board and left up for [...]

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Juan in Brampton, Ontario wasn’t persuasive enough to convince his girlfriend, kat, to skip work and go to her own surprise party. His friends were…not so happy.

Meanwhile, Sam’s best friend baked this for her husband after he re-arranged the living room early in the morning without telling her, resulting in some seriously bruised shins. “What’s [...]

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túlio in buenos aires brings us this note, photographed by his amiga ana, on the occasion of ricky’s 49th birthday. (his party was canceled, you see, due to a lack of cooperación.)
“it’s sad and funny at the same time,” túlio writes, to which i’d have to respond, “sí.”

[roughly translated: PARTY SUSPENDED for want of friends' [...]

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Writes our anonymous submitter: “This girl invited every single one of her friends on Facebook into a ‘forum’ to plan for her birthday celebrations…six months in advance.”

The kicker? within a few hours, our submitter says, almost everyone had already RSVP’d.

related: an occasion Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

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(My roommate disagreed.)

Now it’s my turn: Happy birthday, Kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)
related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks

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For their daughter’s first birthday, Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt decided it would be fun to throw a casual little backyard get-together at their home in Rochester, Minnesota.
Like the good church-going Minnesotans they are, the Schmidts sent out this e-mail invite to their small-ish congregation of about 200 people, expecting maybe 20 or 30 to stop [...]

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The “Thanks for forgetting my birthday, asshole” thank-you note: Because the only thing that would have made this e-mail from Rebecca’s (32-year-old) brother any better is a midi file soundtrack and a dancing elephant or two.

Adds Rebecca: “My resulting apology just yielded more hate-filled e-mails from him — nevermind that I was camping and he [...]

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