Entries Tagged as 'blitzkrieg approach'

You’re just not getting it, Sugar

December 19th, 2010 · 77 Comments

From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.

The trashcan isn't that far away! Quit leaving this mess EVERY DAY! Throw it away! Love, The 2nd floor

Seriously! Stop leaving this here! Throw this away!

Really!?!? Come on!!!

And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:

EAT THESE IF YOU WOULD LIKE CANCER

related: Nutra-not-so-sweet

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · coffee · Colorado · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · heart · It's science! · Jacksonville · office · spoons

Please, contain your excitement.

November 2nd, 2010 · 78 Comments

“My office just got a new style of paper which has caused quite the stir,” says our submitter in Seattle. “It’s made from forested trees, or something like that, so obviously we can’t wait to use it.”

THE OLD OFFICE DEPOT PAPER IS TO BE USED FIRST.

PS - Please use it mostly for printing signs about which paper to use first.

related: Nothing fosters community like shared network printers!

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · meta · Seattle · smartass

The most unpleasant of pleasantries

July 22nd, 2010 · 197 Comments

So, Jen in Ontario, Canada just moved into a new shared living arrangement…with a 50-something lady. “I thought having an older person as a roommate would more peaceful,” she explains. “Turns out I was wrong.” Communication skills, it seems, aren’t one of those things that necessarily improve with age.

Within a week of moving in, Jen says, there were “helpful instructions” taped up all around the house. After that, the notes just kept coming, accusing Jen of everything from filling the dishwasher with soy sauce to sabotaging the tea kettle — always book-ended by a “Pls” and “Thank you,” of course. Because that’s how mature adults act.

Pls stop. Thank you!

Pls empty water in kettle after you've finished with it. The hard water destroys the bottom of the inside of the kettle. Thanks! (turn over page) Pls use Brita water in kettle out of small Brita pitcher in fridge. Thank you!

P.S. Also please rinse your dishes before you put things in dishwasher...to much soya sauce in dishwasher.

related: The Post-it Wars

Tags: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · kitchen · laundry · old folks · Ontario · p.s. · roommates

Vintage Snobs ‘R’ Us

June 23rd, 2010 · 92 Comments

Mark from Liverpool spotted this sign in the window of a vintage clothing store in the center of Rome. Please, someone go take a dump in their fitting room.

No Aliens No Visitors No Stingies No Miserables ONLY BUYERS! ONLY VINTAGE LOVERS! NO TOURIST

Meanwhile, as Tyler and his pals discovered, this vintage store in Madison, Wisconsin is apparently only obnoxious to its actual customers. “The changing rooms were covered in notes,” Tyler says, “and the old woman behind the counter had a continuous look of disdain on her face. It took us a while to realize that was just the way she rested her face.”

Rather than, say, passing judgment on the sizes of their potentially TOO LARGE waists.

STOP. Check the tag. Is it too small? Then don't try it on and please us all!

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

What does “fashion forward” mean to you?

Tags: "customer service" · attire · blitzkrieg approach · Italy · Madison · tourists

How’s that for a low price guarantee?

March 16th, 2010 · 119 Comments

Wayne and his son were watching the Kite Festival in Huntington Beach, California when they noticed these signs outside a shop on the pier. Says Wayne: “It was a cool store.”

LOW PRICE GUARANTEE  We guarantee that you can ALWAYS find something for at least a little less than what you bought it for if you look long and hard enough. What's the point? You're here now.

PRICES SUBJECT TO CHANGE BASED ON CUSTOMER ATTITUDE - WE OFFER EXTREMELY HIGH QUALITY & EXTREMELY LOW PRICES....PICK ONE

HAGGLING POLICY  You're in Huntington Beach, Tijuana is about 3 hours south. Our pricing is excellent, and our service is even better. However, if you still want to try for entertainment value, we always enjoy an exceptional effort.

Approved Discounts

related: Just plane rude

Tags: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · CAPS LOCK · most popular notes of 2010 · retail hell

Thanks for the clarification

September 8th, 2009 · 107 Comments

Exhibit a) From a share house of would-be flip-cup players in Garfield Heights, Ohio (!!!)

keep your dickbeaters (hands) off the glasses in this cupboard!!!

Exhibit b) from an office in Dallas. Writes our anonymous submitter: “Everyone in the building knew who was trashing the bathroom, but no one ever confronted the guy directly about it. After about a year, this note went up.” (Not surprisingly, it didn’t work.) Finally, our submitter says, the building engineer went directly to the guy’s boss to, um, clarify the situation further.

Due to increasing slovenliness, slobs will no longer be allowed to use this restroom.

And then there’s exhibit c) from a restaurant in Delaware.

PLEASE DO NOT LEAN ON GLASS

related: That means pants + shirts as a single unit

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · CAPS LOCK · obnoxious definition

The Kronic—what?—kles of Keith

July 30th, 2009 · 151 Comments

One lazy Sunday, when our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, “At first I thought it was sweet in a sad kind of way,” he says. But then he kept finding more — “on benches, picnic tables, even trees, and they got progressively more insane.”

And yet, as many questions as these notes raise, I’m sure we can all agree that whatever Keith’s wife did, IT HAD TO BE DONE.

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

Here, Keith’s wife really shows off her flair for language (which we got a brief glimpse of in her earlier “hot dog” opus.)

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

Then, evidently quite pleased with herself, Keith’s wife gives herself an encore on another bench.

The Keith Kronikles

related: to have and to hold

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · drugs · ex drama · heart · Minneapolis/St. Paul · money · WTF?

So…you guys take AmEx, right?

May 31st, 2009 · 196 Comments

If you’re still a little confused about the forms of payment accepted at this shoe repair shop, Kate in Seattle says that while she could only capture four signs in this picture, there’s a fifth sign further to the right as well. (That’s the one that clears it up.)

So...you guys take AmEx, right?

related: as Davy Crockett once said…

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Seattle

The more the messier

April 30th, 2009 · 218 Comments

Presumably, writes Chris in San Francisco, the note-writer “figured that if she didn’t put a note on all each offending bag, someone was going to feel left out.”

Please put your name on your Bags or they will be tossed! Many of the bags are left with rotting fruit and molded plastic containers. Thank you.

Please put your name on your Bags or they will be tossed! Many of the bags are left with rotting fruit and molded plastic containers. Thank you.

Adds Chris: “Admittedly, the Kashi cereal box in the back has been there for over two years.  I leave it just as an experiment in human behavior, but apparently somebody had had enough.”

related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · office fridge · San Francisco

I’m not a doctor, but I was an extra on ER once?

December 3rd, 2008 · 151 Comments

Jen says this liquor store in Chicago’s Lincoln Square is completely plastered with notes like these, but — vexingly enough — the guy at the register was such a hawk she was only able to snap a few photos. Happily, I’d say Jen scored a hat trick for insolence with these three.

i'm not a doctor, but i was on extra on ER once...

vexing and insolent!

please refer to Strunk & White for further explanation

related: Free markets, free people, free papers

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cell phone · Chicago · irregular capitalization · obnoxious definition