Entries Tagged as 'bodily fluids'

Short on New Year’s resolutions? The janitor has a few suggestions for you.

December 30th, 2011 · 39 Comments

From the ladies’ room…

New Year's Resolution: I WILL FLUSH THE TOILET AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES TO MAKE MY CRAP DISAPPEAR.

And the men’s room…

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: *I will not pee on the floor *I will not pee on the toilet seats *I will not throw paper towels on the floor (either inside or outside the restroom) *I will not leave paper towels (or pieces of them) on the counter

And the men’s room, one day later…

FIXED THAT FOR YOU

related: And a Happy New Year to you!

Tags: bodily fluids · hygiene · office · toilet

The Dog Shit Sheriff of Berkeley

November 28th, 2011 · 88 Comments

Joe in Berkeley doesn’t know who this note was intended for, but it showed up on his porch sometime after Thanksgiving dinner.

Mr. Cranky - While I understand that dog[s] shit on your lawn frequently...don't EVER come at me, my girlfriend, or Dog in such an ignorant, aggressive and childish fashion. You are not the dog-shit sheriff of Berkeley. If you ever speak to me in that manner again I will be sure to send a pack of Huskies who've recently eaten pounds of broccoli and chill to shit all over your lawn. If you see me again on the street an apology might make you feel like a BIG responsible boy. Otherwise, don't speak to me, Brroo, Your Neighbor

related: The Pooper Stooper

Tags: dogs · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shit

Hover & Flow(chart)

November 15th, 2011 · 131 Comments

Writes Erica in New York: “I don’t think this woman is aware that the aggressive automatic flush makes water splash all over the toilet seats…but she’s obviously very angry.”

When you pee, do you squat and hover over the toilet seat?

related: Coffee pot flowchart

Tags: etiquette · flow chart · most popular notes of 2011 · New York · office · piss · toilet

Pissed off — and rightfully so

October 5th, 2011 · 59 Comments

Bob from San Francisco’s explanation: “Partied till 5 am, slept in and missed work, found this note under my door, had to take the walk of shame to find the hose and wash the sidewalk down.” Pooooor Bob, right?

Dear Bob, (I hope I've got your name right), Please do not pee out your bedroom window again! Besides the fact that it is kinda disgusting, unsanitary, and smelly, you make a lot of noise doing it and it wakes me up. Your apartment does come with a toilet - please use it. And it would be the considerate thing to do if you would wash the pavement off below your window. I can smell the urine. Thanks, Jody #2

Meanwhile, in Kentucky…

Bob's urine

related: “Please stop urinating on the door handle” — and other totally reasonable requests.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · drizzunk · odor · piss · San Francisco · that shit is disgusting · that's unsanitary

So close, and yet…

September 1st, 2011 · 99 Comments

Darin in Chicago came across the note on the side of his neighbor’s garage just as he was throwing his own dog’s crap in the trash can. (This is kinda like getting out the new roll of TP, but then leaving it on the side of the sink to get wet instead of just putting it on the dispenser…except, worse.)

You pick up the dog crap, but insist on leaving it next to the garbage can. I don't understand.

I don’t really understand the logic here either, but perhaps this particular dog owner is still dealing with the scars from dealing with neighbors like this one, from Ottawa:

OLD LADY If I Catch You In The Act Of Putting Your Dogs Crap In Our Cans. I Will Cut Off Your Head And Bolt It To The Hood Of My Car

related: This is not a trash can

Tags: Chicago · dogs · excessive capitalization · garbage · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · recycling · shit · You call that punctuation?

Who declared Opposite Day?

July 12th, 2011 · 59 Comments

We’ve already seen people throwing urine in bottles out of their window…and now, shit in bags? Who does that?!

(Apparently, at least one dog owner in Bailey’s NYC apartment building.)

Someone is dropping bags of Dog Shit from their apartment into the building courtyard. To make matters worse, it does not always make it to the ground. Last nights bag was outside my window. Again. This must stop before management is involved. (Eww, gross!)

related: Throwing cat hair out the window = almost as bad

Tags: dogs · neighbors · New York · shit · that shit is disgusting · WTF?

  1. Pages:
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. 4
  6. 5
  7. 6
  8. 7
  9. 8
  10. 9
  11. 10
  12. 11
  13. 12
  14. 13
  15. 14
 
<