Entries Tagged as 'bodily fluids'
At our submitter’s office in Fort Worth, the third-floor ladies room has an ongoing problem. “Every single day,” our submitter explains, one particular person uses the facilities and then sprays enough perfume to kill a cow…as if you could cover that smell.”
And yet, given the abundance of pro-sprayers in charge of office ladies’ rooms, I’m afraid this is bound to remain another one of those never-ending workplace disagreements.

related: Have you tried Giant Migraine™ scented air freshener?
Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · ellipses-crazed · message to all intended for one · odor · shit
Well, this is a new one.
“Just…wow,” says our submitter in Springfield, Illinois. “I’ve never been told that I have to assess my the consistency of my fecal matter prior to it leaving my body.”

related: How you say diarrhea politely?
Tags: Illinois · most popular notes of 2012 · shit · toilet
Ashley says the elevator in this downtown Columbus parking garage has been out of commission for over a week now, forcing those on the upper levels to (egads!) use the stairs.
“The stairwell is, admittedly, quite unpleasant, and is occasionally home to pools of urine,” Ashley says. “But as someone who has never used the elevator for the year that I have been parking there, it’s hard for me to muster sympathy for the writer’s supposed urine-soaked hems. Perhaps he or she should invest in a tailor?”

Meanwhile, the people who share this employee parking garage in Los Angeles seem to have become resigned to their fate.
As Candice explains, “There used to be a piece of tape holding the first floor button so it wouldn’t get stuck on random floors. After the city inspector come in, the tape disappeared and instead it was declared (indefinitely) ‘out of service.’”

related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?
Tags: elevator · now that's management · piss
Kristen in San Francisco says the copy room is ground zero for office arguments, such as this battle of the “enviro people.”

Meanwhile, Ryan in Minneapolis says his building manager left the following note on the mailbox, apparently “after a vagrant left a little ‘present’ in the recycling bin.” Adds Ryan: “Why he thought anyone in the apartment house would do such a thing is beyond any of us.”

related: Hair is not recyclable!
Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · rebuttals · recycling · San Francisco · shit · The Earth
Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.
Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”

Sadly, I think Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner has a point:

related: THE MAD BOMBER: Never Forget!
Tags: bathroom · bold-underlined-caps · Cleveland · office · shit · that's disgusting · WTF?
From the ladies’ room…

And the men’s room…

And the men’s room, one day later…

related: And a Happy New Year to you!
Tags: bodily fluids · hygiene · office · toilet
Joe in Berkeley doesn’t know who this note was intended for, but it showed up on his porch sometime after Thanksgiving dinner.
![Mr. Cranky - While I understand that dog[s] shit on your lawn frequently...don't EVER come at me, my girlfriend, or Dog in such an ignorant, aggressive and childish fashion. You are not the dog-shit sheriff of Berkeley. If you ever speak to me in that manner again I will be sure to send a pack of Huskies who've recently eaten pounds of broccoli and chill to shit all over your lawn. If you see me again on the street an apology might make you feel like a BIG responsible boy. Otherwise, don't speak to me, Brroo, Your Neighbor Mr. Cranky - While I understand that dog[s] shit on your lawn frequently...don't EVER come at me, my girlfriend, or Dog in such an ignorant, aggressive and childish fashion. You are not the dog-shit sheriff of Berkeley. If you ever speak to me in that manner again I will be sure to send a pack of Huskies who've recently eaten pounds of broccoli and chill to shit all over your lawn. If you see me again on the street an apology might make you feel like a BIG responsible boy. Otherwise, don't speak to me, Brroo, Your Neighbor](https://farm7.static.flickr.com/6052/6402484737_36ff9de11f_b.jpg)
related: The Pooper Stooper
Tags: dogs · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shit
Writes Erica in New York: “I don’t think this woman is aware that the aggressive automatic flush makes water splash all over the toilet seats…but she’s obviously very angry.”

related: Coffee pot flowchart
Tags: etiquette · flow chart · most popular notes of 2011 · New York · office · piss · toilet
Bob from San Francisco’s explanation: “Partied till 5 am, slept in and missed work, found this note under my door, had to take the walk of shame to find the hose and wash the sidewalk down.” Pooooor Bob, right?

Meanwhile, in Kentucky…

related: “Please stop urinating on the door handle” — and other totally reasonable requests.
Tags: actually totally reasonable · drizzunk · odor · piss · San Francisco · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary
Darin in Chicago came across the note on the side of his neighbor’s garage just as he was throwing his own dog’s crap in the trash can. (This is kinda like getting out the new roll of TP, but then leaving it on the side of the sink to get wet instead of just putting it on the dispenser…except, worse.)

I don’t really understand the logic here either, but perhaps this particular dog owner is still dealing with the scars from dealing with neighbors like this one, from Ottawa:

related: This is not a trash can
Tags: Chicago · dogs · excessive capitalization · garbage · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · recycling · shit · You call that punctuation?