Entries Tagged as 'bodily fluids'
“If you want respect,” barked the Daddy tree, “you gotta earn it. Show ‘some freakin’ acorns!”
“But Daaaaaaad,” whined the trembling young sapling. “I just…I just want to be beautiful!”
“What is this, a goddamn Shel Silverstein book? Quit your birching already.”
(As witnessed by Kevin in Arcata, California, and (below) by Taber in Richmond, Virginia.)
But as Michael in Seattle observed, at least one of those sad little trees wasn’t about to let his bully of a father have the last word.
related: The right to bear fruit
Tags: anthropomorphism · California · dogs · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · martyr complex · piss · Richmond · Seattle
Sure, some things (don’t pee in the freaking trash can!) should go without saying. But if you’re gonna say it, wouldn’t this be the time for absolute clarity? In this situation, the directive “behind the salad bar” seems dangerously vague.
Oh, and did I mention that Jenna in Kansas spotted this notice at a local “salad bar/tanning salon”? Because I’m sure that clears everything up.
related: What is it about thrift-store fitting rooms?
Tags: Kansas · now that's management · piss · WTF?
At first glance, would you assume that the the writer of this note….
a) is kind of a racist prick?
b) has a thing against students/alumni from a certain university in Providence, R.I.?
c) has a penchant for using confusing euphemisms for bodily waste?
I’ll admit I assumed the answer was either a or b, until I read the submitter’s explanation about where the note was found: above the stinky toilet in a share house of (mostly male) British university students.
The verdict: Still offensive, just, you know, in a different way.
related: 2 notes, 1 cupcake
Tags: anthropomorphism · college life · shit · thx · toilet · U.K.
So, you don’t want to share your super-special non-dairy creamer/handsoap with the rest of the office?
You could go for the semi-direct approach…
But as Ocie in Petaluma, California witnessed, that might not be enough of a deterrent.
In that case, you could try to dial up the crazy a little more, like Nicole in Florida…
Or you just might have to get a little bit creative.
“Truth be told,” says Mick in McLean, Virginia, “I never did check to see what was in the container.” (Which I guess was kinda the point, right?)
related: I, who should seriously lay off the caffeine
Tags: California · coffee · New York · Northern Virginia · office fridge · Orlando · piss · stealing · Texas
Alejandro found this note posted in the men’s toilet of his Santa Monica office building. “All I know is the guy that does this also uses half a roll of TP,” Alejandro says, “so he’s disgusting AND he hates the environment.”
UPDATE: Yes, it’s true: women’s toilets are often left in just as “discussing” a state as the one above. As Amanda in Austin recounts: “Somebody at my work had a terribly disgusting accident in the restroom that they did not clean up, and the custodians weren’t too happy. Neither were all the other women in the building. (And though it took place in the handicap-accessible stall, as far as we know, nobody in the building is disabled.)” A trifling matter? I think not.
related: the most disgusting thing
Tags: Austin · California · CAPS LOCK · disgruntled janitor · office · shit · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet
“Recently our neighbour falsely accused us of sending him a (passive?) aggressive letter,” says Joe in the U.K. “He was not a happy bunny.” Before an all-out note war commenced, however, the real culprit was apparently identified. Joe received this sincere note of apology the next day.
Adds Joe: “We’re not really sure what the car thing is about — probably a reference to the original note we didn’t send!”
related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper
Tags: car · cats · neighbors · non-apology apology · Oops? · shit · U.K.
“I live in a condominium building that is popular with the elderly,” writes our submitter from the Chicagoland area. Recently, he says, the building’s board of managers put copies of this note in everyone’s mailboxes and posted it in the lobby (so guests wouldn’t be spared the details, either.)
Adds our submitter: “I don’t know what’s more inappropriate: losing control of your bowels in the hallway or distributing this memo to all the residents.”
Meanwhile in depressing economic news, Sara in Kansas City, Missouri says her company’s last Christmas party was held in — wait for it — the rec center of a local retirement home. Revelers who stopped by the restroom were greeted with this cheerful reminder of OMG SHOOT ME NOW.
related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Chicago · disturbingly detailed · old folks · shit · that's disgusting
1. Spotted by Trevor in Richmond, Virginia
2. From Karen in Chicago
3. Spotted by Eli in Kauai
4. from Miller Peterson in Japan
And lastly, a beloved classic from the world-class RunBarbara (and of course, THX SANDRA)
related: with a chainsaw?
Tags: bodily fluids · garbage · toilet · WTF?
Ah, college. While living in an all-female dorm might reduce some types of conflicts…
You also get…this. Explains Hannah in Pullman, Washington: “I live in an all-girls dorm, and guys aren’t allowed to use the bathrooms in the hall. The rule is they are supposed to be escorted out into the lobby…which is a apparently too long of a walk for some people.”
related: (it wasn’t me)
Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · piss · roommates · sex sex sex · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary
I didn’t think office sign illustration could get more gratuitous than this guy, but then Corinna in Seattle came through with this.
(Add a few hand-drawn penises and you’ve got yourself a Perez Hilton special!)
related: maybe next time you should try power point?
Tags: bathroom · office · piss · toilet · unnecessary illustration