Entries Tagged as 'bodily fluids'
“Recently our neighbour falsely accused us of sending him a (passive?) aggressive letter,” says Joe in the U.K. “He was not a happy bunny.” Before an all-out note war commenced, however, the real culprit was apparently identified. Joe received this sincere note of apology the next day.
Adds Joe: “We’re not really sure what the car thing is about — probably a reference to the original note we didn’t send!”
related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper
Tags: car · cats · neighbors · non-apology apology · Oops? · shit · U.K.
“I live in a condominium building that is popular with the elderly,” writes our submitter from the Chicagoland area. Recently, he says, the building’s board of managers put copies of this note in everyone’s mailboxes and posted it in the lobby (so guests wouldn’t be spared the details, either.)
Adds our submitter: “I don’t know what’s more inappropriate: losing control of your bowels in the hallway or distributing this memo to all the residents.”
Meanwhile in depressing economic news, Sara in Kansas City, Missouri says her company’s last Christmas party was held in — wait for it — the rec center of a local retirement home. Revelers who stopped by the restroom were greeted with this cheerful reminder of OMG SHOOT ME NOW.
related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Chicago · disturbingly detailed · old folks · shit · that's disgusting
1. Spotted by Trevor in Richmond, Virginia
2. From Karen in Chicago
3. Spotted by Eli in Kauai
4. from Miller Peterson in Japan
And lastly, a beloved classic from the world-class RunBarbara (and of course, THX SANDRA)
related: with a chainsaw?
Tags: bodily fluids · garbage · toilet · WTF?
Ah, college. While living in an all-female dorm might reduce some types of conflicts…
You also get…this. Explains Hannah in Pullman, Washington: “I live in an all-girls dorm, and guys aren’t allowed to use the bathrooms in the hall. The rule is they are supposed to be escorted out into the lobby…which is a apparently too long of a walk for some people.”
related: (it wasn’t me)
Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · piss · roommates · sex sex sex · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary
I didn’t think office sign illustration could get more gratuitous than this guy, but then Corinna in Seattle came through with this.
(Add a few hand-drawn penises and you’ve got yourself a Perez Hilton special!)
related: maybe next time you should try power point?
Tags: bathroom · office · piss · toilet · unnecessary illustration
Writes Stephanie in Lubbock, Texas: “One day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trash cans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. There’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”
Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania explains: “There are only three of us who use this bathroom, so obviously one of the other two people had a problem with me not adequately spraying the sickly-sweet ‘odor masker’ that doesn’t do anything other than mix with the ambient scent in the restroom to make it smell even worse than it might otherwise.”
Adds our submitter: “Oh, also, this sign went up when I had only four days left working here. I have a pretty good idea how i’ll be ‘celebrating’ my last day.”
related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!!
Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · Pennsylvania · shit · Texas
Writes our anonymous submitter from San Francisco: “I bought $50 worth of groceries at Trader Joe’s, my boyfriend made an awesome pizza out of [some of] them, and as we were watching a movie and eating some, my uber-bachelor roommate yelled through the door and asked if he could get a slice. The man has rice and soy protein on his shelf in the pantry, for almost two years has been replacing leftovers in the fridge with “IOUs,” and rarely makes anything worth sharing — not that we would impose. Sean said ‘yeah,’ I countered with ‘meh,’ and after 30 minutes of door-slamming, he left this note on the table — along with a sticker on our pizza that said ‘meh.’”
related: get your own
Tags: art · food · roommates · San Francisco · shit
Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”
I’d say Eric got off pretty easy, no?
related: WoW, indeed
Tags: actually totally reasonable · California · Moms & Dads · piss · smoking · toilet
Our anonymous submitter in Tel Aviv spotted this note outside the kitchenette of a client’s office. In case your Hebrew is a little rusty, she also provided an English translation:
In this kitchen, please feel free to] pour drinks, cut up food, warm things through, stir and mix food, chop food up into ridiculously small pieces, taste whatever you like and eat until you are well satisfied and utterly sated. BUT [the Hebrew slang originating from the Arabic equivalent of "for fuck's sake,"] do it quietly!
Adds our submitter: “Presumably, noise is a problem — I was just tickled by how much I was permitted to do, as long as I kept my mouth shut.”
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Middle East, the U.S. Armed forces aren’t quite so “anything goes.” Except, apparently, when it comes to shitting in the shower.
related: Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?
Tags: Hebrew · kitchen · military · noise · office · shit · The Middle East
Writes our anonymous submitter in Hartford, Connecticut: “We’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
I appreciate the initial sentiment here — I really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that begins with “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” to a watery grave. so, for a brief flash in time, the note-writer had me. But then…the irregular Capitalizations, the excessive exclamation points!! and (seriously?) the pink flowery clip art…I’d say those make for some serious deductions in both the “technical merit” and “artistic impression” categories.
Judges — what say you of the final tally?
related: the rhyme that must be flushed
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Hartford · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · irregular capitalization · office · piss · toilet