Entries Tagged as 'bodily fluids'
Ah, college. While living in an all-female dorm might reduce some types of conflicts…
You also get…this. Explains Hannah in Pullman, Washington: “I live in an all-girls dorm, and guys aren’t allowed to use the bathrooms in the hall. The rule is they are supposed to be escorted out into the lobby…which is a apparently too long of a walk for some people.”
related: (it wasn’t me)
Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · piss · roommates · sex sex sex · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary
I didn’t think office sign illustration could get more gratuitous than this guy, but then Corinna in Seattle came through with this.
(Add a few hand-drawn penises and you’ve got yourself a Perez Hilton special!)
related: maybe next time you should try power point?
Tags: bathroom · office · piss · toilet · unnecessary illustration
Writes Stephanie in Lubbock, Texas: “One day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trash cans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. There’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”
Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania explains: “There are only three of us who use this bathroom, so obviously one of the other two people had a problem with me not adequately spraying the sickly-sweet ‘odor masker’ that doesn’t do anything other than mix with the ambient scent in the restroom to make it smell even worse than it might otherwise.”
Adds our submitter: “Oh, also, this sign went up when I had only four days left working here. I have a pretty good idea how i’ll be ‘celebrating’ my last day.”
related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!!
Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · Pennsylvania · shit · Texas
Writes our anonymous submitter from San Francisco: “I bought $50 worth of groceries at Trader Joe’s, my boyfriend made an awesome pizza out of [some of] them, and as we were watching a movie and eating some, my uber-bachelor roommate yelled through the door and asked if he could get a slice. The man has rice and soy protein on his shelf in the pantry, for almost two years has been replacing leftovers in the fridge with “IOUs,” and rarely makes anything worth sharing — not that we would impose. Sean said ‘yeah,’ I countered with ‘meh,’ and after 30 minutes of door-slamming, he left this note on the table — along with a sticker on our pizza that said ‘meh.’”
related: get your own
Tags: art · food · roommates · San Francisco · shit
Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”
I’d say Eric got off pretty easy, no?
related: WoW, indeed
Tags: actually totally reasonable · California · Moms & Dads · piss · smoking · toilet
Our anonymous submitter in Tel Aviv spotted this note outside the kitchenette of a client’s office. In case your Hebrew is a little rusty, she also provided an English translation:
In this kitchen, please feel free to] pour drinks, cut up food, warm things through, stir and mix food, chop food up into ridiculously small pieces, taste whatever you like and eat until you are well satisfied and utterly sated. BUT [the Hebrew slang originating from the Arabic equivalent of "for fuck's sake,"] do it quietly!
Adds our submitter: “Presumably, noise is a problem — I was just tickled by how much I was permitted to do, as long as I kept my mouth shut.”
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Middle East, the U.S. Armed forces aren’t quite so “anything goes.” Except, apparently, when it comes to shitting in the shower.
related: Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?
Tags: Hebrew · kitchen · military · noise · office · shit · The Middle East
Writes our anonymous submitter in Hartford, Connecticut: “We’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
I appreciate the initial sentiment here — I really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that begins with “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” to a watery grave. so, for a brief flash in time, the note-writer had me. But then…the irregular Capitalizations, the excessive exclamation points!! and (seriously?) the pink flowery clip art…I’d say those make for some serious deductions in both the “technical merit” and “artistic impression” categories.
Judges — what say you of the final tally?
related: the rhyme that must be flushed
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Hartford · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · irregular capitalization · office · piss · toilet
After 55 years, the North Shore Music Theatre in Beverly, Mass. is closing its doors, Terrance writes, “and I wanted to preserve the rich history of notes and art that have accumulated over the years.”
First up: this artistic series from the intern lounge. (Sidenote: intern lounge?!)
related: I’ll tell you what’s classy, though
Tags: art · Massachusetts · odor · shit · toilet
Tom took notice of this “open letter” — a thoughtful missive that clearly merits our collective attention — on a telephone pole in San Francisco.
If we’re really lucky, perhaps this Richard Asshat character will grace us with an open response in the comments, whiteblizzard70-style!
(Note: For your further enrichment, here’s a less faded graphic of the bristol stool scale.)
related: when ph.d.s get angry
extra credit: mcsweeney’s open letters
Tags: dogs · San Francisco · shit · visual aids
Because it’s Monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, I thought it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these gems from the Columbia, Kentucky and Melbourne, Australia campuses, respectively, of the University of What The Fuck.
(And commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the lack of “anal-retentive” punning in this post’s subject line.)
related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today
extra credit: Waste management [youtube]
Tags: Australia · college life · Kentucky · Melbourne · shit · shower