Entries Tagged as 'bodily fluids'
Writes our anonymous submitter in Hartford, Connecticut: “We’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
I appreciate the initial sentiment here — I really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that begins with “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” to a watery grave. so, for a brief flash in time, the note-writer had me. But then…the irregular Capitalizations, the excessive exclamation points!! and (seriously?) the pink flowery clip art…I’d say those make for some serious deductions in both the “technical merit” and “artistic impression” categories.
Judges — what say you of the final tally?
related: the rhyme that must be flushed
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Hartford · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · irregular capitalization · office · piss · toilet
After 55 years, the North Shore Music Theatre in Beverly, Mass. is closing its doors, Terrance writes, “and I wanted to preserve the rich history of notes and art that have accumulated over the years.”
First up: this artistic series from the intern lounge. (Sidenote: intern lounge?!)
related: I’ll tell you what’s classy, though
Tags: art · Massachusetts · odor · shit · toilet
Tom took notice of this “open letter” — a thoughtful missive that clearly merits our collective attention — on a telephone pole in San Francisco.
If we’re really lucky, perhaps this Richard Asshat character will grace us with an open response in the comments, whiteblizzard70-style!
(Note: For your further enrichment, here’s a less faded graphic of the bristol stool scale.)
related: when ph.d.s get angry
extra credit: mcsweeney’s open letters
Tags: dogs · San Francisco · shit · visual aids
Because it’s Monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, I thought it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these gems from the Columbia, Kentucky and Melbourne, Australia campuses, respectively, of the University of What The Fuck.
(And commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the lack of “anal-retentive” punning in this post’s subject line.)
related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today
extra credit: Waste management [youtube]
Tags: Australia · college life · Kentucky · Melbourne · shit · shower
Our anonymous submitter in California is not the resident of Apartment 105, but she knew exactly who this note was intended for. “The dude in 105 lets his dog out, deposit her gifts on the sidewalk, and then run back. Dude stands and watches her, perfectly at his ease,” she says. “This has been going on for as long as I’ve lived here, so I guess someone finally got fed up.”
Adds our submitter: “This is not the first time I’ve seen a note like this. The shameless are immune to passive-aggression.”
Tags: actions speak louder · California · dogs · neighbors · shit
Sarah in Somerville, Mass. wasn’t fazed when she left her apartment one Saturday to find this otherwise “run-of-the-mill your-mother-doesn’t-live-here note”…until she rounded the corner and was greeted by photocopies of the same note taped to every available surface in the hallway.
Then, the next day, another note appeared near the elevator…
…which had apparently been written on the back of yet another (more targeted) note:
“In fairness,” Sarah says, “this whole thing really is gross, and now the lobby and the hallway — in addition to the elevator — smell of vomit. I’m just not sure why the first notewriter thought that spending $10 on copies was going to help.”
And lastly, Sarah adds: “My mommy didn’t clean up my dorm, either.”
related: Going up?
Tags: elevator · grow up · pleasantries as afterthought · Somerville · vomit · Your mother doesn't...
What do you do when words alone can’t express the depth of your feeling? In the business world, you turn to clip art. And specifically, you turn to screen beans.
If you’ve seen a PowerPoint presentation in the last decade, you’re most likely familiar with screen beans, the clip art collection that will not die.
Says one fan: “Sreen beans are GREAT! they have personality! You have to have imagination and a sense of humor to appreciate them.” You do not, however, have to be an English speaker.
Our anonymous submitter from Norway found this sign in a dirty corner of a factory where he’s been working this summer.
(Loose translation from the Norwegian: IF YOU FEEL THE URGE TO PEE, USE A TOILET. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT PLACE.)
“The really funny thing about it,” our submitter says, “is that someone has peed (several times) on the actual sign!”
related: Stop! in the name of clip art
extra credit: Absolute PowerPoint [thenewyorker.com]
Powerpoint is evil [wired.com]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · Norway · piss
In terms of the appropriate sympathetic nervous system response, an e-mail subject line like “big favor” is kinda the modern cubicle-dweller’s equivalent of “Saber-tooth tiger outside cave!”
(Note: this e-mail, our Seattle-area submitter says, is from the very same person who brought us this.)
related: Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · irregular capitalization · odor · office · oh no you didn't · Seattle · thanks (but not really) · vomit
I didn’t think i’d ever see a kitchen appliance more inappropriately anthropomorphized than this fridge, but I think this dishwasher note (from an anonymous submitter in England) dials the WTF-factor up to 11.
related: The passive-aggressive note has not been destroyed; it has been solved
Tags: anthropomorphism · bold-underlined-caps · CAPS LOCK · dishes · dishwasher · mixed metaphors · sad face · shit · U.K. · WTF?
An anonymous submitter in Portland, Maine is currently chafing under one of the most common irritants of communal living: a roommate “who has never once bought toilet paper.”
She and her other roommate tried some of the more subtle manuevers in the passive-aggressive playbook — up to and including the ol’ hide-and-carry — to no avail. (“When we run out, he uses our paper towels instead,” she says.) That is, until her roommate, who’d “had enough of plunging his shit,” decided to up the ante with this note.
related: oh, she said it
Tags: all clogged up · bathroom · Maine · paper product fairy · rainbow-colored · roommates · shit · toilet · toilet paper · xoxo