Writes our anonymous submitter in Hartford, Connecticut: “We’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”

I appreciate the initial sentiment here — I really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that begins with “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” to a watery grave. so, for a brief flash in time, the note-writer had me. But then…the irregular Capitalizations, the excessive exclamation points!! and (seriously?) the pink flowery clip art…I’d say those make for some serious deductions in both the “technical merit” and “artistic impression” categories.

Judges — what say you of the final tally?

related: the rhyme that must be flushed

After 55 years, the North Shore Music Theatre in Beverly, Mass. is closing its doors, Terrance writes, “and I wanted to preserve the rich history of notes and art that have accumulated over the years.”

First up: this artistic series from the intern lounge. (Sidenote: intern lounge?!)

related: I’ll tell you what’s classy, though

Tom took notice of this “open letter” — a thoughtful missive that clearly merits our collective attention — on a telephone pole in San Francisco.

If we’re really lucky, perhaps this Richard Asshat character will grace us with an open response in the comments, whiteblizzard70-style!

(Note: For your further enrichment, here’s a less faded graphic of the bristol stool scale.)

related: when ph.d.s get angry
extra credit: mcsweeney’s open letters

Because it’s Monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, I thought it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these gems from the Columbia, Kentucky and Melbourne, Australia campuses, respectively, of the University of What The Fuck.

(And commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the lack of “anal-retentive” punning in this post’s subject line.)

related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today

extra credit: Waste management [youtube]

Our anonymous submitter in California is not the resident of Apartment 105, but she knew exactly who this note was intended for. “The dude in 105 lets his dog out, deposit her gifts on the sidewalk, and then run back. Dude stands and watches her, perfectly at his ease,” she says. “This has been going on for as long as I’ve lived here, so I guess someone finally got fed up.”

Adds our submitter: “This is not the first time I’ve seen a note like this. The shameless are immune to passive-aggression.”

related: passive-allergic

Sarah in Somerville, Mass. wasn’t fazed when she left her apartment one Saturday to find this otherwise “run-of-the-mill your-mother-doesn’t-live-here note”…until she rounded the corner and was greeted by photocopies of the same note taped to every available surface in the hallway.

Then, the next day, another note appeared near the elevator…

…which had apparently been written on the back of yet another (more targeted) note:

“In fairness,” Sarah says, “this whole thing really is gross, and now the lobby and the hallway — in addition to the elevator — smell of vomit. I’m just not sure why the first notewriter thought that spending $10 on copies was going to help.”

And lastly, Sarah adds:  “My mommy didn’t clean up my dorm, either.”

related: Going up?

What do you do when words alone can’t express the depth of your feeling? In the business world, you turn to clip art. And specifically, you turn to screen beans.

If you’ve seen a PowerPoint presentation in the last decade, you’re most likely familiar with screen beans, the clip art collection that will not die.

Says one fan: “Sreen beans are GREAT! they have personality! You have to have imagination and a sense of humor to appreciate them.” You do not, however, have to be an English speaker.

Our anonymous submitter from Norway found this sign in a dirty corner of a factory where he’s been working this summer.

(Loose translation from the Norwegian: IF YOU FEEL THE URGE TO PEE, USE A TOILET. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT PLACE.)

“The really funny thing about it,” our submitter says, “is that someone has peed (several times) on the actual sign!”

related: Stop! in the name of clip art

extra credit: Absolute PowerPoint [thenewyorker.com]
Powerpoint is evil [wired.com]

In terms of the appropriate sympathetic nervous system response, an e-mail subject line like “big favor” is kinda the modern cubicle-dweller’s equivalent of “Saber-tooth tiger outside cave!”

(Note: this e-mail, our Seattle-area submitter says, is from the very same person who brought us this.)

related: Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?