Our submitter spotted this twist on a well-worn trope in the Potrero Hill neighborhood of San Francisco.

related: Do you know these dogs???

In the U.K. —more so than anywhere else — self-proclaimed “polite notices” are quite often anything but. Take, for example, these two notices, both from London.

related: A polite notice from New Zealand

As photographed by Danielle, while she was traveling in the Netherlands:

Now you know how to say “poop” in Dutch! (You’re welcome.)

UPDATE: Bill came across this note in the Netherlands a few months back. “It may even be the same note writer!” Bedankt (thanks), Bill!

related: Excuse me, sir? I think you’ve dropped something.

This Sunday’s scatological sermon comes to us from Heather in Denver, Colorado:

With a special reading from Lisa in Houston, Texas:

related: A nasty twist on “Man bites Dog”

At our submitter’s office in Fort Worth, the third-floor ladies room has an ongoing problem. “Every single day,” our submitter explains, one particular person uses the facilities and then sprays enough perfume to kill a cow…as if you could cover that smell.”

And yet, given the abundance of pro-sprayers in charge of office ladies’ rooms, I’m afraid this is bound to remain another one of those never-ending workplace disagreements.

related: Have you tried Giant Migraine™ scented air freshener?

Well, this is a new one.

“Just…wow,” says our submitter in Springfield, Illinois. “I’ve never been told that I have to assess my the consistency of my fecal matter prior to it leaving my body.”

related: How you say diarrhea politely?

Kristen in San Francisco says the copy room is ground zero for office arguments, such as this battle of the “enviro people.”

Meanwhile, Ryan in Minneapolis says his building manager left the following note on the mailbox, apparently “after a vagrant left a little ‘present’ in the recycling bin.” Adds Ryan: “Why he thought anyone in the apartment house would do such a thing is beyond any of us.”

related: Hair is not recyclable!

Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.

Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”

Sadly, I think Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner has a point:

related: THE MAD BOMBER: Never Forget!

Joe in Berkeley doesn’t know who this note was intended for, but it showed up on his porch sometime after Thanksgiving dinner.

related: The Pooper Stooper