Entries Tagged as 'bold underlined italics'

Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

May 12th, 2010 · 85 Comments

Our submitter in Amherst, Massachusetts was heading to class at UMass one day when she saw no fewer than twelve of these signs posted throughout the hallways and doors of her apartment building.  “My neighbors had a fun time responding with comments all over them,” she says, at least for the day and half before they got taken down.

I think my favorite part of this one is the handwritten notes at the bottom. One neighbor suggests, “Perhaps you should talk to the people in this building instead of making them think you’re mean, dramatic and cowardly,” and the writer, pouty-faced, responds, “Well I have said this before and nobody listens.” (Unwritten response: “Boo-FUCKING-hoo. Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.” )

Do you see a fucking sign outside that says free parking?!!!! Get your freaking girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, crack dealer, etc. to go park somewhere else!!!! Just because you copulate on a regular basis doesn't mean they are entitled to make this their own personal free parking lot. I dish out over $500 fucking dollars a month to live here and so it is total and utter bullshit when I come back from campus at 3:15 in the fucking morning after a long ass day of work and I have to go find someplace else to park my car so I don't have to get a fucking ticket. If you are not paying rent here, go find some other fucking place to park your fucking car!

related: When parking gets political

Tags: bold underlined italics · car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · jealous much? · Massachusetts · neighbors · parking · rebuttals

The Munchkins are restless.

January 25th, 2010 · 96 Comments

“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.

...If we were paid COMPETATIVE [sic] WAGES We could afford doughnuts!

UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room of her Ithaca, New York office).

While Mel doesn’t disagree with the sentiment behind the note, “It’s a bit off-putting to be presumed guilty of theft before the fact,” she says. “Also, there seems to be a degree of randomness to the number of exclamation points at the end of each line.” (And of course, that dandy of a sheriff.)

PUT THE DONUT DOWN, AND STEP AWAY FROM THE COFFEE!!

related: Straight out of the Michael Scott Playbook

Tags: bold underlined italics · bullet points · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Illinois · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police

(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

January 3rd, 2010 · 170 Comments

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

Hey you! Yes YOU! (The Peeping Tom): If I EVER catch you looking through my window again I swear on everything I hold dear that my cooter will be the last thing your pervy eyes will ever see again.

To the person who saw me peeping at you

related: Be more private with yourself

Tags: bold underlined italics · California · CAPS LOCK · double-entendre alert · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · non-apology apology · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · rebuttals · sad face · sex sex sex

Really professional, for real.

December 27th, 2009 · 56 Comments

Writes our (only slightly embittered) submitter in Connecticut: “My coworker works the receiving department in a car parts warehouse. Even though he works in a warehouse he likes to pretend he works in an office by sitting at his workstation all day working on ‘problems.’ He put this up because apparently people actually doing work were drowning out his Rush Limbaugh broadcast.”

Ladies & Gentlemen: This is a real office with a real phone, real customers & vendors people AND people who are trying to be REAL professional. Please keep the noise down to a low roar!

related: just sayin’

Tags: bold underlined italics · noise · spelling and grammar police

Where angels fear to spit

February 13th, 2008 · 69 Comments

From an anonymous heathen in Washington, D.C.:

Dear Those Who LOITER/SMOKE in THIS PARTICULAR HALLWAY: This is not a place where you can place your trash!!! People actually live here, believe it or not, and frankly, we're sick and tired of cleaning up after grown people who can go outside and do their business !!!!!!! The last thing people who actually work and have a life in this APARTMENT BULIDING [sic] WANT TO SEE WHEN THEY COME HOME IS ASHES, CIGARETTE BUTTS AND SALIVA (OR SPIT, FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT READ) IN THIS HALLWAY!!!! GO AWAY AND DO YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE, WE'RE VERY SICK AND TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU!!! BE A ROACH AND A HEATHEN SOMEWHERE ELSE. Dutifully, Disgruntled Resident

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: bold underlined italics · D.C. · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · obnoxious definition · smoking · spelling and grammar police · spitting

What, no highlighting?

November 26th, 2007 · 107 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Dearborn, Michigan spotted this gem in a women’s restroom at her office of “several hundred financial and information technology professionals” — perhaps the future workplace of a “trifling” young UC-Berkeley student?

Unbelievable. Someone washed their HAIR in this sink, DONOT use until the cleaning lady cleans IT!!! Brushing your teeth and washing your hands, is normal, washing your hair is just plain NASTY and trifling! I hate to see what your house looks like!

related: I think it’s going to be a long long time

Tags: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hair · hygiene · Michigan · office

No money, no trophy

July 12th, 2007 · 69 Comments

This exercise in mass shaming is brought to us by Rocky in San Diego, who notes: “These are 5-year-olds playing T-ball.”

The players listed below still owe

related: A new tactic for Pre-K school fundraising…public shaming?

Tags: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · Moms & Dads · money · public shaming · San Diego · unnecessary "quotation marks"