Entries Tagged as 'bullet points'
Last year, Emily in Canterbury, England lived in a house with six other roommates — two guys downstairs, five girls upstairs. As is wont to happen in such circumstances, “we were originally all really good mates, but relationships deteriorated as the year went on,” Emily says — “the boys thought the girls were too messy!”
One source of flatmate friction, Emily says, was the habit a couple of the girls had of forgetting their keys when they went out clubbing…and then pounding on the front door at 3 a.m., raving drunk, until one of the guys let them in.
The low point came when one of the guys got woken up by an angry taxi driver rapping on his window (after one of the girls had tossed him 50p and run upstairs). Emily says this note appeared soon after.
related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire
Tags: bullet points · drizzunk · roommates · U.K.
Says our anonymous contributor from Los Angeles: “This is page three (!) of a three-page letter of complaints from my wife’s (ex) office manager to the heads of the company.” Apparently one of her co-workers, Jake, merited his own page. (No word on how this went over with the bosses.)
Tags: bullet points · cell phone · flatulence · food · Los Angeles · loud talker · noise · oatmeal · office · tea · that's disgusting
The Coast newspaper in Halifax recently invited its readers to share their “passive-aggressive roommate tales.” (Gee, what a novel idea!)
My favorite part:
Excerpts from a 34-point note sent to a former roommate:
2. Your rent was always late and it was not paid in full.
4. You used the dishes and baking ware that we provided to you and often did not clean them, left them to ruin, or left them for someone else to clean because you were too busy rushing out the door to go party when you had all day off. If you have all day off, do something more than try to find someone, anyone to hang out with that night that just so happens to have a car and is willing to pick your lazy ass up.
22. Your friends have no right to use and mess up our bathroom. You have your own, it’s part of your room. Also, if they are going to be putting fruit remains in our garbage can, have them removed before they rot. While we’re on the subject…
23. Fruit flies. Need I say more?
25. We were quite upset that you didn’t buy us anything for Christmas worth more than $3. It’s not the money really, but $1.50 each, that’s just insulting. We noticed that week you borrowed money from your current fling to go out and party. I hope you did buy a self-help book at Chapters like you said you were planning.
29. When people have to work very early in the morning, like at 5am, it’s not very nice to have your loud-mouthed boyfriend chatting with you all night, take it somewhere else. Like his mom’s house where he still lives…
30. The clogged toilet thing, you got off easy on that one. Plumbing and property damage is a lot more important than rushing out the door to hang out with your friends. Prioritize.
33. The comment you made about being the type of person who can’t live with someone is something you should take serious consideration of. How are you going to continue living your faux Sex and the City lifestyle if your goal in life is to find a man you can live with, and if you are not the type of person that can actually live with someone?” B.M.
Full story here; another choice excerpt after the jump.
[Read more →]
Tags: bullet points · Canada · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · food · Halifax · money · revenge · roommates
(from an anonymous urinal-user in Boulder, Colorado.)
Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · CAPS LOCK · Colorado · excessive underlining · office · toilet
Maybe it’s the manic use of ellipses and exclamation points, but this note makes me extremely uncomfortable.
Says submitter Erica in New York City, “As bad as it can get in the ladies’, I’ve been told the men’s bathroom is even worse.”
Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · bullet points · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · toilet
This note is like the teenager who manages to contain themselves long enough to grudgingly recite a lengthy mandated apology, but then can’t resist turning around and giving the finger afterwards…or the perky flight attendant who finally cracks when the drunk fat guy hits the call button again at the end of a long flight. Mmm, feel the repressed rage!
(Thanks to Jenn in Hudson, Ohio for submitting!)
Rage against the coffee machine
Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · coffee · etiquette · office · Ohio
This exercise in redundancy is brought to us by Erika in Los Angeles. It’s like the note-writer couldn’t decide which tactic would be most effective and just opted for all of the above.
Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · excessive underlining · food · guilt trip · high on highlighter · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · pleasantries as afterthought · spelling and grammar police · stealing
I agree with Katrina in Ann Arbor, Michigan — the last ”…etc.” bullet point is what makes the sign totally genius. And, apparently, effective.
Katrina adds, “Our microwave is a pristine fucking sanctum suitable for storing, say, the Dead Sea Scrolls, so maybe people are leaving the shrink wrap on their Lean Cuisines.”
Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · cleaning · Michigan · microwave · odor · office