Exhibit a) The “urban” example, from the Silver Lake neighborhood of L.A…

Exhibit b) The equally ineffectual suburban cousin of exhibit a, from “a quiet, small community in San Diego where the residents are basically all over 50.”

related: bleak house

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jonathan, john and michael  share a roof deck with their next-door neighbors in san francisco, who jonathan says “repeatedly, and seemingly sincerely, invited us to use their barbecue grill any old time.”
one weekend, jj&m decided to take them up on their offer. they organized a small cook-out for friends and invited the neighbors to join. [...]

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laura in los angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in rosemead, california, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. the biggest fish, laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.
piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess  — a job that generally means bearing [...]

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no, it’s not really “passive-aggressive.” but this find — spotted by matthew in los angeles — is just too magical to keep to myself.
oh, and mishell, if you ever jog on down to austin and want to share a banana-free breakfast taco or tamale, let me know. (but let’s say 9:30, ’cause i have something [...]

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while returning a long-lost battery charger, kaitlin’s dad echoes the sentiments of parents with adult children everywhere.

meanwhile, sarah in greenville, s.c. shows the downside of giving in to parents’ nagging for unfettered access.

related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents

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as always, facebook users are keepin’ it classy.

and a couple of doozies from stfu, marrieds:

related: tant pis, mon amie

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sydney spotted this bizarrely self-satisfied bit of scripture in a friend’s downtown berkeley apartment building.
says sydney: “i personally think the bible verse adds a nice touch of guilt, but it’s the emoticon smileys that really put the whole thing over the top for me.”

(also…what exactly has the note-writer been doing while holding those keys ransom [...]

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this martyr alert spotted by randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in chico, california…

related: hostile takeover

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evan in san diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift store. “i particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the spanish translation,” evan adds. “it’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”

related: when nature calls

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because nobody says “i mean business” like…donald duck.

except, perhaps, mickey mouse?
writes our anonymous submitter in toronto: “my sister went to do her laundry with her 2-year-old daughter who kept on saying ‘mickey! mickey!’” it seemed like random toddler babbling…until she saw the note.

related: how many wonders can one cavern hold?

extra credit: didn’t disney sue a [...]

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writes our anonymous submitter from san francisco: “i bought $50 worth of groceries at trader joe’s, my boyfriend made an awesome pizza out of [some of] them, and as we were watching a movie and eating some, my uber-bachelor roommate yelled through the door and asked if he could get a slice. the man has [...]

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there’s a guilt trip…

and then there’s a guilt trip.

related: your hamster died? well, i can top that.

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writes chris in riverside, california: “my friend eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening.  he [...]

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writes our anonymous submitter in san francisco: “i spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (it wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  i realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

related: how berkeley

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writes matt in los angeles: “i went to get some of the 2% milk i keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”

related: and i’m singing “uh oh” on a friday night

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presumably, writes chris in san francisco, the note-writer “figured that if she didn’t put a note on all each offending bag, someone was going to feel left out.”

adds chris: “admittedly, the kashi cereal box in the back has been there for over two years.  i leave it just as an experiment in human behavior, but [...]

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writes joe in van nuys, california: “dave has been upset because people have been drinking his tea.  apparently, he was unaware of other potential daves in the office. next time, maybe he should clarify?”

related: who’s the smartass?

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quelle horreur!  “a good week after using my roommate’s microplane to grate parmesan, this note showed up on the fridge whiteboard,” writes tori in (where else?) san francisco. “apparently microplanes are for ZESTING ONLY!”

(unless, of course, it’s a microplane zester/grater.)
related: notes white people leave

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veronica spotted this gloriously expressive exercise in futility stapled to a telephone pole near her home in san francisco. i totally forgive the double p in “apartment,” because dude,  i know exactly how you feel.
also, the idea of someone ripping off one of those tabs and going “why yes, i will fuck myself!” is just [...]

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“in the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in berkeley, california. everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” then a female coworker responded with the note below.

and then, well, the lines were [...]

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