Entries Tagged as 'San Francisco'

When mavericks attack

October 15th, 2008 · 132 Comments

Joe Six-Pack in San Francisco never actually got this note, because our own passive-aggressive pit bull secondsout swiped it from under his windshield wiper. Again, my understanding is that he recused himself,  but I don’t want to talk about that: I’d like to talk about energy.

If you don't know how to operate your gas-guzzling piece of shit SUV without parking up someone else's ass, they you need to get a different car. Signed, Sarah Palin

And also, too, under the umbrella of job creation, therefore:

PALIN HATE POLAR BEAR

related: Herbie goes to Washington

Tags: parking · politics · San Francisco

Desperate times

October 13th, 2008 · 79 Comments

Need another sign we’re officially in a recession? How ’bout three?

Please return My (not your) BIKE PUMP

Did you forget to return my BIKE PUMP?

I MISS MY BIKE PUMP

related: “No” questions asked

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · bicycle · California · excessive underlining · neighbors · San Francisco · smiley · thx

How Berkeley

August 10th, 2008 · 155 Comments

Omar says he found this tucked underneath the windshield his car in Noe Valley, a neighborhood of San Francisco “inhabited by self-centered jackasses — myself included, if you believe this note.”

You are selfishly consuming two 2 parking spaced. How Berkeley.Think next time. Don't be so self-centered. Space, as you know, is hard to come by. May the fleas of a thousand camels invade your armpits.

Adds Omar: “I should clarify: The author of this masterpiece is talking about residential street parking, not a private/public lot with clearly designated lines or, for that matter, even metered street parking. I like to think of myself as a fairly considerate person; clearly I’m nowhere near considerate enough.” (Not by Northern Californian standards, at least.)

related: The parking class

Tags: Bay Area · California · parking · San Francisco

I do, however, have a very charming coat rack

July 17th, 2008 · 151 Comments

Christoph found this polite and friendly note on the door of his apartment in San Francisco. a reasonable enough request, to be sure, except for the fact that — despite his neighbor’s claimed omniscience — “I don’t own any exercise equipment.”

Admits Christoph: “The sound in question was likely a swivel chair…and my habit of rolling back and forth on it at 2 a.m.”

Dear Neighbor, A Polite and friendly note to let you know — I really do know every time you use the stair climber or exercise equipment that's in your bedroom area. Could you put some more carpet under the machine or something to make it quieter on the floor? I can hear everything you do in the bedroom area — the walls and floors in our apartments are very thin! Everything you say and do like walking around — I hear. I don't want to stop your exercise routine — but using the machine at 2am in the morning wakens me and your other neighbors. Thanks for helping

Meanwhile, Kate spotted this lonely stair-climber in the front yard of a nearby house in Snohomish, Washington. “It made me wonder whose stairmaster it really was,” Kate says, “and who wrote the note.” (A newly self-aware infomercial enthusiast? A bitter spouse?)

I'M FAT & LAZY! YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE! FREE!

Alas, Kate says, “We may never know. The underused piece of exercise equipment was gone by morning.”

related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today
extra credit: The hawaii chair [youtube.com]

Tags: a little patronizing · hey fatty · irregular capitalization · neighbors · noise · San Francisco · Washington state

Or at least pass the sports section under the door

May 26th, 2008 · 66 Comments

“I work for a pretty awesome non-profit, where people are amazingly laidback, accepting and non-OCD,” says our anonymous submitter in San Francisco — so this note came as something of a surprise.

This is not a reading room. Those who OFTEN wait somewhat patiently for the restroom to be free would appreciate it if everyone would keep that in mind. THANK YOU

Adds our submitter: “I have to admit, seeing the newspaper on top of the toilet tank the previous week had kinda gotten on my nerves too.”

related: oh dear

Tags: CAPS LOCK · newspaper · office · San Francisco · toilet

The art of the passive-aggressive note

May 23rd, 2008 · 77 Comments

Sure, it’d be easier and quicker to just clean it up. But the modern passive-aggressive (like Katey in Berkeley’s ex-roommate) can’t pass up the opportunity to make a point.

CAT ACCIDENT ->

A common variation on the Van der Rohe approach, as documented below by Sam in Dallas, is the so-called “Reverse Magritte.”

NOT A TRASH CAN

Meanwhile, post-modern passive-aggressives (like this New York office-worker below) can’t resist throwing some irony into the mix, intentional or not.

WTF? "What the fuck?"

More recently, passive-aggressives have begun to show the influence of the burgeoning neo-pop movement. Our anonymous submitter in Houston, for example, designed the original stamp below for use in his work. “I am an engineer and we have to mark up technical drawings for manufacture,” he explains, in his artist’s statement. “It gets used at least twice a day.”

WTF?

The bleeding-edge of passive-aggressive note-writing, however, lies on the west coast, where Rebecca in San Francisco says that in the past, “We’ve had an ongoing series of notes left in the office kitchen — usually of the ‘your mother doesn’t work here’ or ‘there is no such thing as the coffee fairy’ variety.” The Koons-inspired piece currently on display in the office breakroom, however, makes its point with no words at all.

the Jeff Koons approach

related: Why-fi

Tags: actions speak louder · art · Berkeley · cleaning · Houston · New York · Oakland · obnoxious definition · office · roommates · San Francisco · WTF?

Oh, she said it.

April 30th, 2008 · 129 Comments

Ellen in San Francisco says this note is but the latest development in what has become a toilet paper-thin relationship with her passive-aggressive roommate. It started two months ago, she says, when her roommate “decided after six months of sharing that I was no longer allowed to use her toilet paper. I should mention that she never once asked me to chip in for toilet paper, and I never really had an opportunity to buy more because she bought it in bulk and we always had a huge supply.”

Ellen obliged “until this morning, when nature called and I had just run out.” When Ellen got home, this work of art (my favorite line: “now that we’ve settled this”) was waiting for her.

Do not use my toilet paper. I know you have done it before in the past but stop! And don't get made, we both know you do.

Adds Ellen: “Funnier still is that this roommate freaked out on another roommate for leaving a note. She yelled at her, ‘If you have a problem with me, talk to me, don’t leave me a note. Be an adult about it!’ Nice to see she followed her own advice.”

related: it always comes down to the toilet paper

Tags: bathroom · money · paper product fairy · roommates · San Francisco · smiley · toilet paper

Notes white people leave

April 3rd, 2008 · 198 Comments

OMG, ramekin drama! (from San Francisco, natch…)

(click to enlarge!)

related: #54 kitchen gadgets [stuffwhitepeoplelike.com]

Tags: excessive underlining · meta · moving/not moving · San Francisco

Je comprends…moi non plus

March 10th, 2008 · 275 Comments

Marc in San Francisco spotted this at a restaurant in the Haight called All You Knead (have fun with those puns, kids). I can certainly empathize, but after reading some of the reviews…well, maybe there’s a reason the tips aren’t so great.

Attention foreign travelers...a quick guide to the wacky American custom of tipping

related: A friendly tip from your waitress

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Francais · restaurant · San Francisco · tipping

Stop, Hammertime!

February 26th, 2008 · 84 Comments

So, after seeing this note from Daily Piglet in Columbia, South Carolina:

DO NOT TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT EVER!!!

And this one, from Anna in Providence, Rhode Island:

Do Not Touch! Ever!!!!

And this doozy from an anonymous San Francisco office worker…

DON'T TOUCH!!!! DON'T TOUCH!!!

Is it any wonder that this photo from afroswede‘s flickrstream (and others) came to mind?

can’t touch this

(Meanwhile, over at bethany’s “blog”…u can touch this.)

related: Can I lick it?

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Providence · San Francisco · South Carolina · temperature · touching