Entries Tagged as 'Canada'
“When my downstairs neighbour first moved in, I thought we would be friends,” says our submitter in Montreal. “We go to the same school, we’re around the same age, and we both love pets. (I have a cat and a dog, she has four cats.)” And yes, she says, “Every day — after 10 a.m., before 8 p.m. — I vacuum my house. She can have fun with all her cat-hair dust bunnies — I’ll stick to my cleaning schedule, thanks!”
Like our submitter in Montreal, I’ll admit that, as the owner of a dog who sheds quite a bit, I also vacuum pretty much every day. So if that makes me a “FILTHY DIRTBAG,” I guess I prefer that to becoming like “Dirty Lady #2.”
related: I’m dirty and I love it
Tags: bold-underlined-caps · cleaning · Montreal · noise
Writes Chelsa in Canada: “My first night moving in, I couldn’t find the bolts to put my bed frame back together, so I had to unpack some boxes and it was about 10 p.m. before I found them and could set up my bed. Moving sucks, right? Apparently at 10 p.m. on Saturday night, screwing in 8 bolts is THE WORST thing a person can do. This note was on my door in the morning.”
related: The Neighborhood Warning Wagon
Tags: Canada · neighbors · noise · smiley
Marcel in Montreal begins his story with the moral: “There are just some things you don’t mess with — vipers, rabid dogs, king cobras, black widows…and my mom.” His younger self, however, was far less wise. This is his tale.
For a long time, Marcel and his siblings had the irritating habit of drinking all the milk in the house late at night so that there was none left when their mother went to pour herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast the morning.
One day, Marcel and his siblings came home from school to find a batch of “the richest, most delicious brownies ever” sitting on the counter. Of course, they dug in immediately. But just as he was about to head to the fridge to pour himself a cold, tall glass of milk to wash down all that chocolate-y goodness, Marcel noticed this note from Mom hiding underneath the crumbs.
“Sacre bleu!” he cried, for sure enough, there was not a drop of milk to be found in the house. Leaving a trail of brownie crumbs behind him, he ran as fast as he could to the nearest dairy farm, where, shortly before hitting send on this submission, he was eaten by a very hungry wolf.
“Both Marcel and the brownies,” the wolf wrote, “were fucking delicious.”
related: The Boy Who Forgot to Clear His Browser History
Tags: heart · milk · Moms & Dads · Montreal · Mother-son notes · signed with love · xoxo
This one was spotted by Liz from British Columbia in what she describes as “a popular drinkin’ park often featuring empty Colt .45 cans.”
related: What kind of person steals flowers from a grave?
Tags: British Columbia · Canada · die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
A certain supervisor thought his assistant, Sandra, was attracting too much idle chatter from other people in the office, so he made this framed notice for her desk. (Because that’s not creepy at all.)
“No word yet on how many contributions he’s received,” our submitter says.
related: The Man is always watching
Tags: Canada · crazy boss · kinda creepy · most popular notes of 2012 · office
Writes our submitter in Canada: “Of the 12 people living the house, only three do any sort of cleaning or washing up. This was the result of several months of accumulated angst.”
related: I did the dishes. Where’s my cookie?
Tags: Canada · cleaning · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · runaway run-on sentences · smartass · spelling and grammar police
Shortly after he moved out, our submitter in Canada discovered that her ex-roommate had glued a memo for the room’s future occupant inside his bedroom closet — “his final passive-aggressive attempt to get under my skin.”
related: You’re not as bad as everyone warned me you’d be!
Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · roommates
Writes our submitter in Canada: “This is my neighbour’s cat, Byron. He’s a lovely boy, but given the chance, he’ll steal into my apartment and scarf down my cats’ kibble. The other day Bryon visited sporting this new heart-shaped tag.”
Please stop feeding my cat!
Tags: British Columbia · cats · neighbors
September 18th, 2012 · 60 Comments
Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen
Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?
Tags: Canada · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · smiley