Entries Tagged as 'Canada'

In case of emergency, call…

November 28th, 2014 · 39 Comments

Laura in Victoria noticed this unofficially annotated official notice while studying late one night at the UVic Campus. Says Laura: “Given that it’s posted in a building crammed with tired university students, the original notewriter probably have been able to predict what would happen next.”

And exercise some maturity by not writing "Batman" or "Ghostbusters" or any other alternate to the emergency organizations provided. Thank you.

And what happened next was…BUTTS.

And exercise some maturity by not writing "Batman" or "Ghostbusters" or any other alternate to the emergency organizations provided. Thank you. [BUTTS]

related: This is not a bulletin board.

Tags: Canada · college life · smartass

Rotten heel, steel toes

June 1st, 2014 · 75 Comments

One of Allison’s coworkers recently became convinced that one of the evening janitors had it in for her shoes — different shoes. On multiple occasions. “Needless to say,” Allison says, “she didn’t last much longer.”

Janitors don't ever put my shoes in the garbage. Your [sic] not nice.

 

I know who you are and you are evil to do this to my shoe and toss out the other one, you will be punished for this. You are disgusting creep O.K.. You will rot in hell.

Meanwhile, Kris in Alabama spotted this note on a locker at his place of business:

It's note nice to steel a Marine's boots. You can't hide.
related: Or I will CUT YOU

Tags: Edmonton · I know who you are · office · spelling and grammar police · you're like so going to hell · your/you're

You may not be stylish or chic, but Mom loves you anyway

May 7th, 2014 · 46 Comments

“My mom mistakenly picked up a birthday card for my sister’s graduation,” writes our submitter in Canada. “The real gold, of course, is in what she decided to cross out.”

Love you just the way you are. Happy Graduation. Love Mom + Dad

related: For the conditionally beautiful bride

Tags: Canada · faint praise · Mother-daughter notes

Is it really Baby Jesus stealing season again already?

November 18th, 2013 · 99 Comments

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but as Rachel in Victoria, B.C. noticed, nativity scenes are already becoming crime scenes.

I hate to say that and most of you may not even believe it, but there are people they steal

related: Baby Jesus is AWOL

Tags: British Columbia · Christmas · Jesus · most popular notes of 2013 · stealing · warning

La petite mort du poulet

November 5th, 2013 · 50 Comments

Melissa in Ontario received this note — attached to a raw chicken breast and wrapped in plastic wrap — pushed through her mail slot several years ago. To this day, she says, “I’ve never been able to figure out what I did that was so horrible/distracting that it ruined the best orgasm of someone’s life and also what raw chicken has to do with it.”

Thanks for ruining the best orgasm of my life!

related: Down and dirty down under

Tags: Ontario · sex sex sex · thanks (but not really) · WTF?

The coward’s way out of a roommate break-up

October 20th, 2013 · 77 Comments

Writes Megan in Canada: “Found this in my room one night. No warning, no talk. Classy and cowardly.”

Megan, I don't think it is working out between the two of us. I think its time you find a new place. I don't want to have any hard feelings. Carole

related: Trading up

Tags: Canada · moving/not moving · roommates

The story of STUPID CAT

September 19th, 2013 · 87 Comments

Before you cry “FAKE!” — I would have filed this away in the “too-good-to-be-true,” pile, had not Deniz in Ontario stepped forward to admit that he is the mad man behind this posters. Explains Deniz: “I made this flyer because I had had enough of this STUPID CAT wrecking my flowers and window screen, but in the end all it accomplished was making my boyfriend think I was crazy. Oh, and I put my real phone number on it (stupid).”

I’ve gotta say, Deniz, you had me at “photo of similar looking cat.” This is my favorite crazypants submission in a long, long time.

WHOSE STUPID CAT IS THIS??? (photo of similar looking cat)  If you know whose STUPID CAT this is, contact 705-XXX-XXXX with information.  Your stupid female grey and cream cat with a PINK collar keeps squashing my plants and ATTACKING my window screen to bug my well behaved indoor cat.  PLEASE do something about your STUPID CAT or I WILL NOT BE NICE.

Adds Deniz: “The STUPID CAT still remains at large. I have given up on planting flowers.”

related: Beware of barking mad cat lovers!

Tags: cats · crazypants · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · most popular notes of 2013 · Ontario

Failure to Yeild

August 14th, 2013 · 81 Comments

“My spelling skills are a perpetual work in progress,” admits Kelly in Calgary. “When I told my sticky-note-happy coworker about my most recent spelling mistake caught by my boss, she decided to take action.”

YIELD — i before e except after c...bla bla blah — yIELd - IE  — yield yield yield

related: A personal pet peive

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Calgary · i before e · office · smartass · spelling and grammar police

I hope you step in a puddle in fresh socks!

July 28th, 2013 · 49 Comments

“A couple of fairly large bike-stealing rings just got busted here,” writes Caitlin in Waterloo, Ontario. “There were a lot of thefts, but this is the only note I’ve seen.” (How utterly un-Canadian!)

Dear Bike Thief, I'm sorry about the circumstances in your life that led you to feel the need to steal my bike. Although I do wish that you step on a Lego or in a kitchen puddle wearing fresh socks, I hope that taking my bike has helped your life get back on track.

related: Dear thief, I hope you…

extra credit: Stepping on Legos [youtube.com]

Tags: bicycle · Ontario · stealing · Waterloo

The Considerate Thief

July 2nd, 2013 · 42 Comments

Chelsea in Canada was biking past her neighbo(u)r’s lawn when she saw this sign, and the sheer Canadian-ness of it made her laugh so hard she nearly fell off her bike. (Chelsea then apologized to her handlebars, the asphalt, and the world in general before snapping this photo and continuing, politely, on her way.)

Happy Belated Canada Day, everyone!

If you steal our rhubarb, pull the root out with the stem. When you chop the stem at the base, the rhubarb doesn't grow back. Please be a considerate thief.

related: Canadian is Angry; Still Says “Thank You”

 

Tags: Canada · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · most popular notes of 2013 · painfully polite · stealing