Entries Tagged as 'Ottawa'

Stop! Don’t chute!

October 17th, 2010 · 56 Comments

Two simple rules for using the garbage chute:

DO put your dog poo down the chute.

TENANTS PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU PUT YOUR DOG POOH DOWN THE SHUTE. IT SMELLS IF LEFT IN. THANK YOU! MANAGEMENT

DON’T put your dog, Pooh, down the chute.

ATTENTION RESIDENTS: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, PUT ANY ANIMAL, DEAR OR ALIVE, IN THE TRASH CHUTE. If your pet dies, and you do not know the proper way to dispose of the remains, call the office. We will see the remains are disposed of in a humane and sanitary manner.

(Thanks to Jason in Ottawa and Catherine in D.C. for submitting!)

related: Garbage chute entitlement

Tags: animal welfare · CAPS LOCK · D.C. · dogs · landlords and property managers · Ottawa · shit · that's unsanitary

Cheers to the cheapskate!

June 2nd, 2010 · 89 Comments

It all started, says Alex in Ottawa, when his roommate left on a note on his door, “chewing me out for not paying my share of the cable bill.” In response, Alex says, “I pointed out that he actually owed me more money for the hydro bill. Not being the kinda guy who takes well to being wrong, before paying me he decided to dock another $20 off what he owed — for random things like a burger he grilled for me six months ago.”

Eventually, Alex says, cheapskate roommate broke down and left him the 20 bucks…but not before adding a personal inscription. (Hover your mouse over the image if you’re having trouble deciphering the handwriting.)

FOR ALEX - AN UNDESERVED AMOUNT OF MONEY (Please flip over) ... I ALEX [redacted] IN ACCEPTING THIS 20 DOLLAR BILL ADMIT TO BEING A SLEEZY CHEAP FUCKER WHO CONSISTANTLY PAYS HIS BILLS LATE AND GIVES BULLSHIT REASONS TO LEGITIMIZE MY EGOCENTRIC BELIEF THAT I AM FREE FROM WRONG. I MOOCH MY ROOMMATES FOOD AND IT TAKES ME 40 MINUTES TO BREAK DOWN AND BUY A PITCHER (YES, WE TIMED YOU)

Adds Alex: “That part about ‘my egocentric belief that I am free from wrong’ actually describes him to a T, I think,” Alex adds. “But what do I know? I’m just a ‘sleezy cheap fucker,’ off to spend my newfound drinking money…probably on a pitcher to share with all my pals.

related: “Communication needed”

extra credit: The Queen as Ronald McDonald ["Defaced Presidents" pool on flickr]

Tags: money · Ottawa · roommates

Please pick up your dirty laundry ASAP

August 28th, 2008 · 127 Comments

Says our anonymous Facebook user in Ottawa: “It’s exactly what it looks like.”

Your stuff is packed and sitting in the garage!!! Please pick up ASAP...sick of the lying and cheating....

related: In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In posts on Facebook?

Tags: ex drama · Facebook · Ottawa

Wet laundry’s a bitch

May 28th, 2008 · 212 Comments

Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…

Enjoy your yeast infection! :)

Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.

To the person who rudely took my laundry out of this dryer and tossed it in a damp pile on the dirty shelf, I'm terrible sorry that your laundry had to wait the 5 mins it was taking me to come downstairs to remove my own laundry from the dryer. I'll tell my mom next time she shouldn't call me during laundry time as someone, such as yourself, may have to wait a few mins longer for the machine. I'm aware of the fact that there are only 2 machines for the entire building but give me a break - how rude can you possiblt be? Perhaps maybe in the future we can work out a time schedule so that my meger [sic] clothing doesn't interfere with your clearly superior laundry. Thanks for that.  P.S. I was planning on allowing my stuff to COMPLETELY dry and put more $ in the machine but your needs come first, I understand.

related: I wiped between my legs with those towels!

Tags: guilt trip · karma's a bitch · laundry · Moms & Dads · Ottawa · p.s. · Phoenix · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR

10 people, one kitchen

July 13th, 2007 · 66 Comments

alanna lives in a house in ottawa with nine other girls, where “dishes are always being left in the sink dirty and growing stuff, or clean on the counter taking up space.” a note war has commenced on the window above the fridge.

there are 10 people sharing this kitchen

by popular demand, alanna has helpfully posted another picture showing the underlying notes!

10 people, one kitchen

Tags: Canada · dishes · excessive underlining · kitchen · note wars · Ottawa · roommates