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Entries Tagged as 'Canada'

Silent protest

January 27th, 2009 · 101 Comments

Tara in Vancouver organized a meetup for “progressive, radical and lefty librarians” at a place called Subeez Cafe. It wasn’t until afterwards — when she took a look at the contact sheet she’d passed around — that she realized at least one attendee was less-than-pleased with her choice of venue.

“They didn’t complain to me directly, they didn’t even write it on the front of the paper,” seethes Tara. “Were they hoping for a bucket of hummus at a squat?”

Subeez is neither radical or progressive!

related: a matter of taste

Tags: politics · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback · Vancouver

Panty raid!

January 14th, 2009 · 104 Comments

Caitlin at Ontario College didn’t write this note, but she feels for the person who did — she and four friends on her floor also had panties go missing from the dorm laundry room. “The thief seemed to particularly prefer black thongs,” she says. (Unlike the notewriter, however, they don’t necessarily want them back.)

Whoever Keeps Steeling [sic] Panties form the Dryers PLEASE STOP!! AND BRING THEM BACK!!!

Since then, however, it seems the thief may have (ahem) moved south of the border. The female residents of Alexis’s apartment building in Seattle are now facing a similar problem.


And then…well, then there’s Japan. Jason spotted this note in Tokyo when he was staying there a few years back. Unfortunately, he never got the whole story, but that might be for the best.

To whoever stole 4 pairs of my underwear off the roof: You are one sick fucking individual. How fucking pathetic that you can't afford your own so you go and steal mine. Enjoy the crabs & bad karma you piece of shit.

related: Are you there, Margaret?

extra credit: Panty thief busted, then busted up [the smoking gun]
Panty thief jailed for laundry larceny [msnbc]

Tags: Canada · college life · kinda creepy · laundry · Ontario · Seattle · sex sex sex · stealing · Tokyo · WTF?

We’re not naming names, but…

December 18th, 2008 · 72 Comments

Spotted by Cara at a laundromat in Ucluelet, British Columbia…

It has come to our attention that SOME customers have forgotten their manners at home. Rude behavior such as swearing, raising your voice and SPITTING on our retailers because change was not available to you is unacceptable behavior. We would like to remind our customers that it is their responsibility to bring their own change when doing laundry. We would also like to inform our customers that the Post Office is not allowed to give change. Management.

related: It’s Pat!

Tags: British Columbia · Canada · etiquette · laundry · spitting

Listing in Now Magazine’s adult classifieds: $70. Revenge?

October 6th, 2008 · 76 Comments

…well, you know how it goes.

The listing is NOW MAGAZINE is INCORRECT. We don't provide the services usually fulfilled by your left hand. If you have to knock, you don't belong here, so PLEASE LEAVE.

Meanwhile, in Melbourne…

Sorry, this premises no longer providers "erotic relaxation" or any other service of that nature.

And in London…


…a saucy variation on a much-photographed placard from London’s Soho:


But my favorite sign was spotted by Nick at a backpacker’s hostel in Rio:

Prostitutes are strictly forbidden to come upstairs. We recommend you go to Panda Motel at Sao Clemente, 298.

related: The whore of West Babylon

Tags: "customer service" · Australia · Canada · Melbourne · Rio de Janeiro · sex sex sex · Toronto

Just one question…

September 28th, 2008 · 119 Comments



Dear Peter, Are you Retarded? Love, Sean

related: Two words: missing tarantula.

Tags: confusion??? · family · food · office · Ontario · signed with love · Texas

Please pick up your dirty laundry ASAP

August 28th, 2008 · 127 Comments

Says our anonymous Facebook user in Ottawa: “It’s exactly what it looks like.”

Your stuff is packed and sitting in the garage!!! Please pick up ASAP...sick of the lying and cheating....

related: In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In posts on Facebook?

Tags: ex drama · Facebook · Ottawa

“So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great.”

July 24th, 2008 · 234 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter from Canada: “I got back to my desk after lunch on a Friday and found this heartfelt note on my keyboard. I was touched.”

Thanks for all your hard work this week on the report. I had to fix almost everything because of you. There were mistakes (a lot.) I stayed late. It was TONS of fun!!! have a great weekend and don't worry about all those mistakes :)

Adds our submitter: “I worked my ass off on that damn report!”

related: Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!
extra credit: TPS report cover sheet

Tags: Canada · office · smiley · thanks (but not really) · TPS reports

Scatological Poetry Slam

July 22nd, 2008 · 223 Comments

Given the highly intellectual discussions this site’s commenters have become known for, it seems safe to assume that the question, “How are we to judge poetry?”  is one that you, dear reader, have no doubt pondered on many an occasion, along with other more academic concerns such as the proper resting state of the toilet lid.

Well, as the late Philip Larkin once said, “I think a poet should be judged by what he does with his subjects, not by what his subjects are.” With that in mind, which of these poets would you judge “less likely to make you totally vom”?

Is it this one, from a university campus in Toronto?

Dear Ladies, Please be kind to our noses by flushing during doses of Nature's secondary call when it's smelliest of all. To wail till the end, won't make you any friends, as the smell lingers here in this room with no air. So next time you must answer to Nature's rush for whatever doth ail ye, flush so we don't suffer daily. Thank you.

…or is it this one, spotted by Kacey at the YMCA in the college town of Champaign, Illinois?

STOOL RULES: If you want your stay to be real nice nice/After the deposit - flush it twice/When the paper work is done/Flush once more - it can be fun!!/Heed my words in what you do/Or all you've done - comes back to you

related:  A limerick

extra credit: The Poet of Dirty Words: Reconsidering Philip Larkin []

Tags: Canada · Illinois · odor · office · pure poetry · toilet · Toronto

There will come soft pains

July 7th, 2008 · 239 Comments

This bit of poetry is brought to us by Alex in Vancouver, an innocent observer on the scene.

Words cannot express how thankful I am for waking me up this morning. I forgot to set my alarm and would have slept in until at least ten otherwise. How did you know that I really wanted to get up at five-thirty? Do either of you have ESP? If so, you should definitely make use of your talent. Also, how did you know that I had grown tired of the peaceful sound of the rain? I haven't told anyone. Listening to you argue about how drunk Jim was, making food loudly, running around the house, and crinkling a plastic wrapper for what may have been an hour completely pushed the sound of rain from my ears! Huzzah! If only you were around now, the damned rain is back and the fridge isn't loud enough. So again, many thanks to you both for a most wonderful pre-dawn.

Tags: drizzunk · noise · roommates · sarcasm · sleeping · thanks (but not really) · Vancouver

An official declaration of the silent treatment

July 1st, 2008 · 354 Comments

Nadia received this letter from her boyfriend’s cousin, Amy, who recently relocated with her boyfriend from Saskatoon to Victoria, B.C…and have been shacking up with Nadia and her boyfriend even since. Over the past month, roomie relations have become a bit strained, to say the least.

“We had to send a stray cat she was harboring to a friend’s house temporarily (my allergies were killing me),” Nadia says, and Amy proceeded to pout for three days straight. A minor-blow out ensued, which was then followed by this untitled composition. Nadia and her boyfriend are scheduled to move out on Wednesday.

This is to notify you that I wish to NOT be on speaking terms with you.

Adds Nadia: “A friend of mine (a B.A. in professional writing and linguistics) and I (a high school science and math teacher with a zoology degree and a B.Ed.) corrected all of the mistakes in the letter.” Then, fighting ire with ire, they posted it on the fridge.

Despite the poor quality of this piece, I submitted it to

related: Nice move

Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · family · p.s. · roommates · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR