Entries Tagged as 'Canada'
Marcel in Montreal begins his story with the moral: “There are just some things you don’t mess with — vipers, rabid dogs, king cobras, black widows…and my mom.” His younger self, however, was far less wise. This is his tale.
For a long time, Marcel and his siblings had the irritating habit of drinking all the milk in the house late at night so that there was none left when their mother went to pour herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast the morning.
One day, Marcel and his siblings came home from school to find a batch of “the richest, most delicious brownies ever” sitting on the counter. Of course, they dug in immediately. But just as he was about to head to the fridge to pour himself a cold, tall glass of milk to wash down all that chocolate-y goodness, Marcel noticed this note from Mom hiding underneath the crumbs.
“Sacre bleu!” he cried, for sure enough, there was not a drop of milk to be found in the house. Leaving a trail of brownie crumbs behind him, he ran as fast as he could to the nearest dairy farm, where, shortly before hitting send on this submission, he was eaten by a very hungry wolf.
“Both Marcel and the brownies,” the wolf wrote, “were fucking delicious.”
related: The Boy Who Forgot to Clear His Browser History
Tags: heart · milk · Moms & Dads · Montreal · Mother-son notes · signed with love · xoxo
This one was spotted by Liz from British Columbia in what she describes as “a popular drinkin’ park often featuring empty Colt .45 cans.”
related: What kind of person steals flowers from a grave?
Tags: British Columbia · Canada · die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
A certain supervisor thought his assistant, Sandra, was attracting too much idle chatter from other people in the office, so he made this framed notice for her desk. (Because that’s not creepy at all.)
“No word yet on how many contributions he’s received,” our submitter says.
related: The Man is always watching
Tags: Canada · crazy boss · kinda creepy · most popular notes of 2012 · office
Writes our submitter in Canada: “Of the 12 people living the house, only three do any sort of cleaning or washing up. This was the result of several months of accumulated angst.”
related: I did the dishes. Where’s my cookie?
Tags: Canada · cleaning · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · runaway run-on sentences · smartass · spelling and grammar police
Shortly after he moved out, our submitter in Canada discovered that her ex-roommate had glued a memo for the room’s future occupant inside his bedroom closet — “his final passive-aggressive attempt to get under my skin.”
related: You’re not as bad as everyone warned me you’d be!
Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · roommates
Writes our submitter in Canada: “This is my neighbour’s cat, Byron. He’s a lovely boy, but given the chance, he’ll steal into my apartment and scarf down my cats’ kibble. The other day Bryon visited sporting this new heart-shaped tag.”
Please stop feeding my cat!
Tags: British Columbia · cats · neighbors
September 18th, 2012 · 60 Comments
Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen
Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?
Tags: Canada · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · smiley
September 10th, 2012 · 51 Comments
Our anonymous submitter in Toronto spotted this note — one copy in the elevator, and three copies taped to a couch that had been left near the dumpster in the building’s parking lot.
Dear Sir: Your “behaiviour,” spelling, and poor understanding of evolutionary theory don’t suggest that you graduated at the top of your class, either.
related: Who says Canadians are nice?
extra credit: Humans are still evolving, scientists say
Tags: CAPS LOCK · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · Toronto
Rachael in Edmonton spotted this billboard-on-wheels in the lot at the RV dealership where she works. “The guy was buying a trailer from us, but after seeing seen his van, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
After all, you wouldn’t want a full-blown Canadian protest on your hands…
related: Good God, Lemon.
extra credit: A Canadian robbery [CTVNews.ca]
Tags: Canada · car · Edmonton · public shaming · thanks (but not really)
Hey, Lenny, if you’re looking for an idea for your next tattoo, how about, “Don’t trust anything written in Comic Sans.”
(Thanks to Syrah in Toronto for submitting!)
related: A little advice for the ladies
Tags: Comic Sans Alert · Toronto · WTF?