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Entries Tagged as 'Canada'

Law & Order: Social Media Unit

August 29th, 2011 · 55 Comments

Kelly in Halifax was on her way to the bus terminal when a note in the window of a small souvenir shop caught her eye. A few days later, she spotted an update, too.

On Facebook, YouTube...PLEASE HELP ME FIND THEIR PARENTS. They need to know what their children do outside their homes. Their shoplifting behaviors should be stopped and corrected. Collin, please turn yourself in. If not, a criminal charge will be made.

On Facebook, YouTube...PLEASE HELP ME FIND THEIR PARENTS. They need to know what their children do outside their homes. Their shoplifting behaviors should be stopped and corrected. The young man on the photo has made an apology to the store. His photos will be removed when he pays for the products.

(And no, the black bars weren’t present in the original photos.)

related: Well, that’s one way to get your landlord’s attention.

Tags: Canada · Halifax · public shaming · retail hell · stealing

Must have the precious…

August 2nd, 2011 · 44 Comments

Amy and her cousin were enjoying a casual stroll in Toronto when they noticed this note in a neighbor’s garden — a note which Amy says left her with far more questions than answers.

I’d have to agree with Amy that the stand-out line here is the one towards the end about whether the tomato thief ever makes racist or ageist remarks. (Because…huh?)

Adds Amy: “The lack of grammar made me think that ‘young people’ were a new racial group. And why does the note-writer beg the thief to at least return ONE of the stolen tomatoes  — because it’s so precious? And is the last line a threat of being infected by Asian lily beetle poison? I don’t get it!”

To the Tomato Thief: YOU WIN. I will never plant tomatoes again. The plant is in the compost where it will help me. Since you took all 4 of the first tomatoes of the season (the most precious), could I have the one left? (the plant isn't healthy so there won't be more. I trust you never speak ill of young people or other racial groups as you are a terrible role model to anyone in your family.  *(My soil is infected with the Asian lily beetle - a voracious eater, so careful)

related: People of Philadelphia, these tomatoes are not for you!

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · spelling and grammar police · Toronto · WTF?

Nicely played, sir.

August 1st, 2011 · 168 Comments

Explains Haley in Canada: “My friend Laura took $20 from her dad’s wallet and left a note telling him she needed it for parking. When she got home later, she found this.”

Laura, I took a pair of your jeans to pay for bread and a few grams of cold cuts. Love, Dad (AKA; VP)

Laura, I took a pair of your jeans to pay for bread and a few grams of cold cuts. Love, Dad (AKA; VP)

related: Dad holds the kitteh hostage

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Canada · Father-daughter notes · Moms & Dads · money · oh snap · signed with love

There’s no “I” in Sarcasm

May 25th, 2011 · 28 Comments

“Every week there seems to be a new note in the office kitchen repeating the exact same thing,” says chenry in Canada. “Lately they’ve been threatening to throw away the dishes if you leave them in the sink, but they never do that either.”

(click the image below to enlarge)

Moving forward...any dishes left in the dish rack or sink overnight will be thrown out.

“Now someone’s added his own sign taking the piss out of the rest.”

Moving forward we will need more signs regarding the proper care and placement of dishes. Repeating details of how and when to use the dish rack will be crucial to our ongoing success as a floor. We can do this with everyone pitching in! Thank you, The Pulp & Paper Industry

related: You want clip art? Oh, we’ll give you clip art.

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · dishes · in the name of teamwork · kitchen · sarcasm

And don’t you DARE clean out the freezer — I have important bills in there!

May 1st, 2011 · 91 Comments

“My roommate is a total slob,” says Elinor in Toronto, so after two weeks away from the apartment, she wasn’t too surprised to see the kitchen piled high with several delightfully fragrant, filled-to-the-brim garbage bags. When she went to throw them out, Elinor discovered one of the bags was actually filled with clothes, so she put that one in her roommate’s room.

The next morning, Elinor found both of these notes slid under her bedroom door.

[note 1:] Dear Elinor, You threw out an important bag of clothes that was in the kitchen. If you don't know what it is, don't touch it. -for FUCK SAKES! [note 2:] Never mind -found it ...sorry

related: Stop! Don’t chute!

Tags: garbage · Oops? · roommates · Toronto · touching

Claustrophobic? You might want to avoid these elevators.

April 28th, 2011 · 75 Comments

Moira and some friends recently rented a flat in Rome for a few days — lucky her, right? The only hitch to the plan was the fact their apartment was located on the very top floor, and while Rome might be the “The Eternal City,” spending eternity in a European-style elevator car wasn’t exactly the experience they were seeking.

!!WARNING!! Before opening the doors wait until the elevator stops at the floor completely. If no you remain stuck in it FOREVER!

Meanwhile, if you thought you weren’t afraid of elevators, a visit to the Hampton Inn in Burbank, California might change your mind. This placard inside the elevator (as documented by Kristen from Ohio), has got to be the least-reassuring attempt at preventing alarm I’ve ever seen. The fact that it manages to accomplish the exact opposite of its implied purpose makes me think the person behind it must be some kind of sadistic savant…and that he’s DEFINITELY watching you on the CCTV.

SHOULD THE ELEVATOR DOORS FAIL TO OPEN, DO NOT BECOME ALARMED. THERE IS LITTLE DANGER OF RUNNING OUT OF AIR OR OF THIS ELEVATOR DROPPING UNCONTROLLABLY.

Not the anxious type? Well, how do you feel about dog shit and zombies? So far Kareen in Winnipeg has escaped this particular elevator unharmed, but that doesn’t mean she’s not watching where she steps.

Depositing of fecal matter in said elevator-car is most definitely considered foul and repugnant. Please don't. P.S. Keep-thou wary and worked-up in case of mutant elevator-monkey-zombies. THANKS

related: Elevator nose grease

extra credit: “The Subway’s Elevator Operators, a Reassuring Amenity of Another Era” [nytimes.com]

extra extra credit: Time lapse video of a man stuck in an elevator for 41 hours [newyorker.com]

Tags: Burbank · elevator · Italy · p.s. · shit · warning · Winnipeg

If you’re not going to pay attention in class, please do so in a way that doesn’t distract me from not paying attention either.

March 23rd, 2011 · 92 Comments

So, Claire in Canada was sitting in Psych class and — shame on her — “talking quietly with a friend” when she noticed this guy’s screen in the row ahead of them. After they stopped talking, she says, “He then went on Skype chat with someone for the rest of the class.”

Adds Claire: “Don’t worry, I leaned in and whispered an apology for interfering with his Skyping.”

Please stop whispering behind me!

related: “The hair pulling debackle of lecture”

Tags: Canada · college life

Pets? Sure. Foreigners? Hells no!

January 4th, 2011 · 167 Comments

I wouldn’t call these two PA notes passive-aggressive — just “pretty awful.”

First up, from St. John’s, Newfoundland:

FOR RENT: Basement Apartment - $600 a month. If you are from a foreign country in the Middle East or Asia, please, by all means, call or come by, but I will not be renting your family this apartment. Freshly painted, pets are welcome, close to all major amenities.

Update: As commenter Reb points out: The “ad” from St. John’s is actually part of a Human Rights Commission campaign that’s trying to bring attention to discrimination like this; it’s not a real ad. Notice, for example, the lack of a phone number.

But this one, from Davisburg, Michigan is 100% real — and, as commenter James notes, not uncommon.

Please don't park Japanese cars in front of my office park the damn things in Japan. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don't get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

Please don't park Japanese cars in front of my office park the damn things in Japan. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don't get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

PLEASE DON’T PARK JAPANESE CARS IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE PARK THE DAMN THINGS IN JAPAN. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don’t get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

(Thanks to Shawn in Canada and Sarah in Michigan for submitting!)

related: Dear Foreign Workers at the VW plant: we hope you enjoy these jobs…because we paid for them!

Tags: Canada · casual xenophobia · landlords and property managers · Michigan · misplaced patriotism · not so much passive-aggressive · parking · WTF?

Providing a “friendly holiday spirit”

December 13th, 2010 · 42 Comments

Halloween was just a prelude, really —it’s Christmas that brings the real bounty of guilt-trip opportunities, often with a bonus side helping of irony.

To wit: Jaime in Canada says his neighbor (okay, “neighbour”) went totally Clark Griswold with his Christmas decorating this year, creating a sparkling extravaganza that is, Jaime says, “quite the treat for the eyes.”

But the best part of the display might be what stands in front of Santa and his team of reindeer  — an ellipses-and-exclamation-fueled cautionary tale about the true meaning of Christmas…consumerism!!! (Take that, Tiny Tim!)

Dear Potential Rotten Kid!!!!!!!! This display was a Christmas gift from my children. I, plus my neighbours enjoy providing a friendly holiday spirit. Let your conscience be your guide! ...Imagine...Christmas Morning...You!! Mom...Dad...Hey, where's my presents? SORRY...SON!!! Somebody stole everything from our car!!

related: Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Who stole the baby Jesus??

Tags: Canada · Christmas · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · holiday spirit · neighbors · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children? · you're like so going to hell

Civil diso-brattiness

November 28th, 2010 · 124 Comments

“My boyfriend, Alex, lives in a high-rise apartment building occupied by college/university students — people you’d think would have some intelligence,” says Meghan in Hamilton, Ontario.

Of course, a little learning is a dangerous thing. In Alex’s building, this seemingly civil request from one of the building’s residents garnered the following indignant response.

Please smoke on the balcony.  Everyone's apartment smells of cigarettes because someone is chain-smoking all day long. Please be considerate of your neighbours.

No I won't!  What next? Don't cook Currie or fish Don't use smelly cleaners Don't perk coffee Don't bring food into building. I can smell it Don't drink, you stink up elevators Don't take shoes off, smelly feet Don't fart or burp, I can hear it and smell it.  Move to a smoke free hotel room.

But Meghan says her favorite thing about this exchange is the placement — right next that big ol’ city-mandated “no smoking” sign.

NO SMOKING: City of Hamilton By-law 80-258 Maximum Fine $5000

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

Tags: Canada · neighbors · odor · Ontario · questionable logic · rebuttals · smoking