Entries Tagged as 'Canada'

Cheers to the cheapskate!

June 2nd, 2010 · 89 Comments

It all started, says Alex in Ottawa, when his roommate left on a note on his door, “chewing me out for not paying my share of the cable bill.” In response, Alex says, “I pointed out that he actually owed me more money for the hydro bill. Not being the kinda guy who takes well to being wrong, before paying me he decided to dock another $20 off what he owed — for random things like a burger he grilled for me six months ago.”

Eventually, Alex says, cheapskate roommate broke down and left him the 20 bucks…but not before adding a personal inscription. (Hover your mouse over the image if you’re having trouble deciphering the handwriting.)

FOR ALEX - AN UNDESERVED AMOUNT OF MONEY (Please flip over) ... I ALEX [redacted] IN ACCEPTING THIS 20 DOLLAR BILL ADMIT TO BEING A SLEEZY CHEAP FUCKER WHO CONSISTANTLY PAYS HIS BILLS LATE AND GIVES BULLSHIT REASONS TO LEGITIMIZE MY EGOCENTRIC BELIEF THAT I AM FREE FROM WRONG. I MOOCH MY ROOMMATES FOOD AND IT TAKES ME 40 MINUTES TO BREAK DOWN AND BUY A PITCHER (YES, WE TIMED YOU)

Adds Alex: “That part about ‘my egocentric belief that I am free from wrong’ actually describes him to a T, I think,” Alex adds. “But what do I know? I’m just a ‘sleezy cheap fucker,’ off to spend my newfound drinking money…probably on a pitcher to share with all my pals.

related: “Communication needed”

extra credit: The Queen as Ronald McDonald ["Defaced Presidents" pool on flickr]

Tags: money · Ottawa · roommates

So…I’m guessing you don’t get many visitors in your neck of the woods.

May 27th, 2010 · 90 Comments

Our anonymous submitter saw this notice up in Canada’s Yukon territory. “I always knew that dogs were a very important in the life of the Yukoners,” she says, by way of explanation…an explanation that, frustratingly, explains next to nothing about these people or their “visitors.”

To all non-pet-owners who visit and like to complain about our pets

Also, re: points #4 & 6 — my dog isn’t very good at coming when called, but he happens to love hanging out with “drug-using people.” (Lots of Cheetos crumbs and whatnot to lick off the floor.)

related: Your are welcome

Tags: Canada · cats · dogs · guests · questionable logic · TL;DR

A supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again

May 23rd, 2010 · 89 Comments

Jessica from Halifax was perusing the comment board of a small restaurant on Salt Spring Island, B.C. when she  spotted this tasty tale of shellfish-related woe.

Food was great!! But, I got six prawns, and she only got two. She demanded two off of my plate. I didn't like her attitude, so I said no. She said

Meanwhile, Charlie found this scary story (and the impressively deadpan response) pinned to the comment board at the River Street Whole Foods in Cambridge, Mass.

Love this Whole Foods, best in Boston. However, the carrots are too pointy and long. It's intimidating. Can you shorten them and make them less scary?

related: The EGG SALAD BAN

Tags: Boston · British Columbia · faint praise · food · restaurant · thanks (but not really) · Too good to be real?

Feel free to apologize

May 16th, 2010 · 39 Comments

“I found this posted on every vertical object within a block radius around Adam’s Point in Oakland,” says submitter JasonP. (I particularly enjoy point #4 of the response.)

Just a point of advice - If you're going to vandalize someone's building, don't be stupid enough to put the same logo on your vehicle and park it 4 blocks away 4 days later. Now I have your license plate number. Enjoy speaking with the cops.   1. I DID NOT

Meanwhile, a set of neighbors in Vancouver, B.C. were tussling over a similar case of mistaken identity.

Feel free to apologise

related: I’m not creepy, in fact…I’m quite gay.

extra credit: “But he was dressed like a ‘gang person,’ you guys!”

Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · graffiti · mistaken identity · neighbors · noise · Oakland · Oops? · rebuttals · Vancouver · vandalism

In case you were wondering why we’re closed

May 10th, 2010 · 75 Comments

…the proprietors of this Toronto bar will leave you pondering some different questions instead.

TONITE: SUNDAY 25th BANGBANG BAR IS CLOSED DUE TO FEMALE TEMPERMENT [sic] ISSUES

Meanwhile, as Will observed, a Shell station in Austin apparently abides by a similar “honesty is the best” policy.

Due To Tonyas drug habbit [sic] store will be Closed

…as does a shopping center in Tyler, Texas, where Erin spotted this explanation (on a 100-degree July day).

Temporarily closed Due to Shopping Center Mgmt. Refusal To Repair 32 Year Old A/C Unit.

Similar venting was on display at a store in Ironton, Ohio. (“For the record, I cannot validate whether or not the ‘oner’ was an in fact an asshole,” says submitter Meagan.)

CLOSED FOREVER DUE TO ASSHOLE ONER [sic]

And smetimes, of course, brutal honesty isn’t enough.

Sorry, we are CLOSED due to short staff. (Hire taller staff cause I need a taco!)

So really, why bother with an explanation at all?

Not Sorry

Fuck off we're closed

related: Closed for good! Remember that the cheese loved you more than you loved it.

Tags: "customer service" · bar · don't blame us · drugs · most popular notes of 2010 · Norway · Ohio · raging against the machine · restaurant · retail hell · spelling and grammar police · Texas · Toronto

The snotty video store clerk lives!

April 8th, 2010 · 66 Comments

Sure, Redbox and Netflix may have been the death of their former stomping grounds. Yet as Erin in San Diego noticed while shopping for DVDs at her local Best Buy, at least one of those condescending cinephiles has condescended to grace us with her presence (and her oh-so-artistic ampersands?) in big-box land.

New/Seasonal people- or a careless media person,

Meanwhile, as Ali noticed, a Blockbuster in Calgary seems to be having similar HR problems.

Now Hiring Please no dinosaurs with clever human costumes- fool me once, shame on you...

related: Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I just called to say I love you”?

Tags: a little patronizing · Calgary · retail hell · San Diego

Funny money

March 23rd, 2010 · 109 Comments

This first note, spotted by Nick, is from a school in New Jersey; the second, from DeAnna and Shawn, was taken at a school in Stony Brook, New York. Apart from those details… not really all that different, eh?

(I don’t think Monopoly-land has universal health care, though.)

THIS was stuck in the machine! Use real money and you'll get a real Drink! Use play money and everybody Gets NOTHING! Ms Joanne

Canadian $ is NOT real $

Love you, Canada! And your loonies, too.

related: putting 50 pennies in here is a hostile act

Tags: beverages · Canada · money · New Jersey · New York

Look, Tooth Fairy, here’s the deal.

February 9th, 2010 · 131 Comments

“My wife and I have been busy lately,” writes Sean in Vancouver, “and we forgot to get the newly-lost baby tooth from under my daughter’s pillow. We finally remembered a few days later. When my wife went in to slip some money under the pillow, I could hear her trying hard not to crack up.” When she came out (red-faced and laughing), to show me the note, I understood why.”

Dear, Toothfairy  It has been 4 days of putting my tooth under my pillow and on my desk. I am getting sick and tried of it. I would really like it if you just did what you are supposed to do.   P.S. I am not being rude. You could write if you want. Love, Haylee

related: Passive-Aggressive Easter Bunny

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2010 · p.s. · signed with love · Vancouver

A foreign policy allegory?

January 24th, 2010 · 86 Comments

The long arm of Uncle Sam has extended all the way up to this roommate squabble in Peterborough, Ontario.

“The note on the right,” our submitter says, “is is written by a roommate who (as you can see) does not recognize the hypocrisy of calling someone out for being passive-aggressive in her own passive-aggressive note.”

Yo, Uncle Sam: Do not try to dictate my actions to me.

related: Are you proud to be an American?

Tags: Canada · Ontario · rebuttals · roommates · toilet

The happiest place on Earth

January 20th, 2010 · 141 Comments

Josh (formerly of Abbotsford, B.C.) received this doozy of a postcard from his ex, completely out of the blue. “Apparently she wanted to let me know, after more than two years of separation and one year since the divorce was final, that she was really happy we’re not together,” Josh says.

(I’m gonna guess the feeling is mutual.)

Happy Holidays! So glad we're not together.

Adds Josh: “I too wondered why there was no postage mark from California, where the post card was supposedly mailed from. My ex lives in Olympia, Washington, so my guess is between Washington and B.C. there’s a lot of forgiveness.”

related: to have and to hold

Tags: Canada · Christmas · ex drama · heartwarming compassion · holiday spirit