Entries Tagged as 'Canada'

An e-mail from my arteries

January 19th, 2010 · 66 Comments

Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?

“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)

I really have you have a great day...

related: sympathy for the devil

extra credit: Shaking things up at Dairy Queen

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Canada · ellipses-crazed · guilt trip · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

Escape poodle

December 7th, 2009 · 219 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Canada says his apartment building has been having some crime issues lately that has the residents all aflutter — resulting (according to the following note) in a modern-day witch hunt…Canadian-style!

Just because I have a lot of tattoos doesn't mean I'm a drug dealer!

Jay darling, I think everybody in your building owes you a big fat hug.

related: On jamming

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Canada · CAPS LOCK · drugs · malapropisms · neighbors

The art of passive resistance

November 4th, 2009 · 110 Comments

Travis in Edmonton says this painting (which “resembled a tenth-grader’s crack at designing fantasy novel jacket”) appeared one day in the alley behind the pub where he works. Feeling puckish, Travis says, “Every evening I would turn it toward the south-facing balconies…and every morning it would be face-down in the street again, until eventually it disappeared for good.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: Despite all my rage...

related: You can have the inflatable bananas

Tags: art · Canada · WTF?

My condolences on your birthday

September 16th, 2009 · 116 Comments

Daniel is Montreal says his dear grandmother sent him this card in the mail for his birthday. The front of the card (which didn’t scan very well) says: It is not what is visible on the surface but what is deep inside that sustains us.

Well, says Daniel, “that and guilt.”

Hope I get to see the both of you before the year is over. Love, Grandma

related: Dear Grandma — thanks, I guess; How I “did” my grandma

Tags: birthday · Grandma · guilt trip · Montreal · old folks · signed with love

Your a geneous

July 10th, 2009 · 105 Comments

Writes Amy in Canada: “Part of my job (as a civilian employed by the Canadian Armed Forces) is to install or repair network services out to remote areas of our training area. Here are a few of the notes I saw while puttering around with my cabling and switches.”

IF YOUR GOING TO MAKE CHANGES IN HERE!!

your a geneous

happy (very) belated canada day!

related: (don’t?) wash your ass in the sink

Tags: Canada · military · spelling and grammar police

Dear Grandma: Thanks, I guess.

July 8th, 2009 · 253 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my six-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in Canada.”

(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)

Thanks, I guess.

Meanwhile, Toni spotted this grandma’s thank-you note on a closed booth at a flea market in Lakewood, Ohio.

Ever-gracious Grandma

related: But…but…I didn’t forget!

Tags: birthday · Canada · Grandma · martyr complex · Ohio · old folks · p.s. · thanks (but not really) · xoxo

Make an effing wish

June 25th, 2009 · 93 Comments

Rachel spotted this on a frat house fridge in Champaign, Illinois, adding: “Said fridge was indeed revolting.”

I wish Babler would clean the f*cking fridge!

Meanwhile, Helen swiped this from an equally revolting frat house in Vancouver. Adds Helen: “The reason why it is so ripped up is because a frat boy saw me steal the note and we fought for it for a while.”

NO DUDES ON THE POLE - You will break it and hurt and embarrass yourself

related: How hazing rituals are born

Tags: Canada · cleaning · college life · fratboys · fridge · roommates · Vancouver

Notes with character

June 12th, 2009 · 119 Comments

Because nobody says “I mean business” like…Donald Duck.

PLEASE NOTE!!! ONLY AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL...CAN TOUCH THIS COMPUTER...ANYONE ELSE...I WILL TEAR YOUR F*CKING ARM OFF!!! AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR F*CKING ASS!!!

Except, perhaps, Mickey Mouse? Writes our anonymous submitter in Toronto: “My sister went to do her laundry with her 2-year-old daughter who kept on saying ‘Mickey! Mickey!’” It seemed like random toddler babbling…until she saw the note.

Thanks for taking your sweet f*ckin' time doin' your laundry. Next time try setting an Egg timer so you can get your Lazy ASS outa bed!

Thanks for taking your sweet f*ckin’ time doin’ your laundry. Next time try setting an Egg timer so you can get your Lazy ASS outa bed!

related: How many wonders can one cavern hold?

extra credit: Didn’t Disney sue a bunch of preschools for painting Disney characters on their walls? [snopes.com]

Tags: California · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · out-of-context cartoon character · Toronto

When targeted advertising goes terribly, horribly wrong

June 7th, 2009 · 188 Comments

“A few days after changing my status to single,” writes Meg in Red Deer, Alberta, “Facebook proves to be the creep I always knew it was.”

How to get your ex back

(Jordon is the ex-boyfriend.)

Megan, Jordon thinks you're an IDIOT!

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your Facebook profile

Tags: breakup · Canada · Facebook

Paying through the spout

May 25th, 2009 · 191 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Ontario, Canada found this note in the office lunch area. Apparently, the water in the office cooler had been going like crazy until the new pay-per-sip policy was enacted.

“While people were willing to pay,” our submitter says, “whoever was changing the bottles was not doing it as often as before the charges began, and we were all getting annoyed as the cooler was empty more often than not. The sign also kept disappearing. This new sign was put up earlier this week, and the post-it appeared a few days later.”

BOTTLED WATER Please pay a minimum of 25 cents each time, depending on amount taken. Thank you. (Cost: $0.26/liter)

(I’m still hung up on “people were willing to pay.” I mean, yes, we’re in the middle of a recession. And yes, it’s Canadian funny money. Still.)

related: So…the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?

Tags: money · office · office cop · Ontario · water