PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » CAPS LOCK

Mellon Collie and the Seasonal Sadness

Kerry — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 00:36:18 +0000

Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)

(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)

The very delicate elevator

Kerry — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:39:00 +0000

Apparently the “this will damage elevator” meme is the most exciting thing to happen around this Cincinnati cubicle farm in a long time.

(According to our submitter, the photos below represent only a fraction of the variations that have popped up all over the office.)

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

When refrigerators speak

Kerry — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 23:46:44 +0000

THE LINE BREAKS

ON THIS NOTE

MAKE ME WANT…….TO

PUNCH SOMEONE

Beware of Barking Mad Cat Lovers!

Kerry — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 12:00:41 +0000

While on her first trip to Bergen, Norway, Den from London was strolling a residential side street when she came across across this note taped to a large window where, just inside, several cats were dozing the day away.

The cutesy clip art is a nice touch, Den says, but she was particularly tickled by the idea of this person rounding up cat-lovers from across the Internet to bark manically at THE PATHETIC MAN WHO DO NOT EVEN HAVE BALLS the next time he strolls by with his dog.

related: My cat-shit crazy neighbor

“I’m not keeping track or anything, but you are being written out of the will.”

Kerry — Thu, 12 May 2011 01:38:25 +0000

Grandmas: they can kiss you on the cheek while punching you in the gut, and you’ll still write a thank-you note…or wish you had. BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE.

related: But…but…I didn’t forget!

P.S. By the way, Grandma Cookie, I did call you at Palm Garden on Mother’s Day — three times — but you didn’t answer. But, um, Happy Mother’s Day?

Ikea’s Danegr chair, never a bestseller, has since been recalled

Kerry — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 21:27:26 +0000

“Smooth move, Ferguson!” he said with a snort, his laughter echoing down the empty hallway. He started to walk on, then stopped short. That tuna-salad sandwich can wait, he thought. This was the English Department, after all — someone should be keeping up appearances! With that, the graduate student made an abrupt about-face, scurrying back to the tiny office he had just left to compose a suitable caps-locked rejoinder.

This, he could already tell, would be the highlight of his week.

Author’s note: The chair above was spotted by Ben in a hallway of the English Building (oh, the shame!) at the University of Cincinnati. Adds Ben: “I don’t know how you write a note with only a few words on it, all of them huge, and mess one up so badly.”

related: Childrens can learn!

Stop “blocking your blessing”

Kerry — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 04:19:11 +0000

Jo spotted this testimony in a restroom at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

I guessing this particular portion of the Gospel of (the) John was lost in translation from the Greek or some such — a shame, cause “God doesn’t like ugly” would make a great protest sign.

Dear Bad Mood Customer

Kerry — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 01:32:12 +0000

“The Lakeview area doesn’t have the most convenient post office locations, so many people just stop in at this shipping center,” says Zach in Chicago. “This sign is well known in the neighborhood.” (Indeed, I’ve gotten photos of it from at least five different submitters.)

“The lady who served me seemed nice,” says Leigh, “but I guess people aren’t so nice to her.” Meanwhile, Casey, another submitter, says: “the little lady actually picks fights with customers! She charged me astronomical prices for shipping books and when I asked her about it, she started yelling at me.” I guess that’s the convenience charge?

related: Service with a snarl

Mom, my flash drive is missing!

Kerry — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 08:30:31 +0000

Apparently, your mother does work at the Clemson University computer lab. Now take some responsibility for yourself, child!

The Impatient Pirate of Cornelia Street

Kerry — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 00:18:42 +0000

Jess found this amazing treasure trove of notes — beginning, middle, and (sort of) end — while walking down Cornelia Street in New York’s West Village.

A not-so-subtle clue that your coworker isn’t interested in cubicle small talk

Kerry — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 02:42:16 +0000

Writes our submitter in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: “A woman in my office was recently relocated to a new cubicle, apparently against her will. I don’t really know her, but I guess now I know not what not to use as an ice breaker!”

Toto, I have a feeling we’re not at band camp anymore

Kerry — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 02:13:02 +0000

Michael is a music teacher in New York, and one of his students, Aleks, a clarinet player with 15 years experience, recently moved to the city to start his master’s degree. “Coming from Ohio, he had no idea what he was getting into when practicing clarinet in his apartment in Queens,” says Michael. “Now he knows.”

related: Buskers & broomsticks

Just back away, slowly

Kerry — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 21:39:34 +0000

You’d think, as Jen from St. Louis did, that this carefully typed message (from the public toilet at the Golden Gate Bridge), is indisputably good advice.

But as Kim observed while studying abroad on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten, there’s an exception (explosion?) to every rule.

related: Poseidon’s a pervert

Stop! Don’t chute!

Kerry — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 02:03:30 +0000

Two simple rules for using the garbage chute:

DO put your dog poo down the chute.

DON’T put your dog, Pooh, down the chute.

(Thanks to Jason in Ottawa and Catherine in D.C. for submitting!)

related: Garbage chute entitlement