Entries Tagged as 'CAPS LOCK'
For their daughter’s first birthday, Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt decided it would be fun to throw a casual little backyard get-together at their home in Rochester, Minnesota.
Like the good church-going Minnesotans they are, the Schmidts sent out this e-mail invite to their small-ish congregation of about 200 people, expecting maybe 20 or 30 to stop by for some cake.
Hello St. Luke’s family! Madeleine turns ONE on 8/8/8! To celebrate, she’s hosting her very own backyard tea party on Saturday, August 9th at 1:00 p.m. No gifts necessary – your presence is present enough. We hope you and your family will join us as we celebrate the first of many fun birthdays with our little princess. If you have a moment, please RSVP to so we know how many cucumber sandwiches to make.
Mr. Schmidt happens to be the local TV weatherman, but neither of the Schmidts could have predicted the outraged response they received by mail a few days later (unsigned, with no return address).
Adds Mrs. Schmidt: “We have no clue who sent it, and decided we’d have to laugh it off or go crazy trying to figure it out…so I’m doing my own passive-aggressive act and posting it here.”
related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate
Tags: birthday · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · Minnesota · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2008 · spelling and grammar police
Rodti and Laura Elizabeth spotted these charming examples of local Scottish color outside an Internet cafe in Glasgow’s West End.
Meanwhile, a grocery story elsewhere in Glasgow displays a similar plea for clemency…one that seems intended for a similar clientele.
related: Blame it on Coke
extra credit: Buckfast tonic wine [wikipedia]
The worst toilet in Scotland [youtube]
Tags: "customer service" · apostrophe abuse · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Glasgow · irregular capitalization · not my fault · pure poetry · spelling and grammar police · toilet · U.K.
What do you do when words alone can’t express the depth of your feeling? In the business world, you turn to clip art. And specifically, you turn to screen beans.
If you’ve seen a PowerPoint presentation in the last decade, you’re most likely familiar with screen beans, the clip art collection that will not die.
Says one fan: “Sreen beans are GREAT! they have personality! You have to have imagination and a sense of humor to appreciate them.” You do not, however, have to be an English speaker.
Our anonymous submitter from Norway found this sign in a dirty corner of a factory where he’s been working this summer.
(Loose translation from the Norwegian: IF YOU FEEL THE URGE TO PEE, USE A TOILET. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT PLACE.)
“The really funny thing about it,” our submitter says, “is that someone has peed (several times) on the actual sign!”
related: Stop! in the name of clip art
extra credit: Absolute PowerPoint [thenewyorker.com]
Powerpoint is evil [wired.com]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · Norway · piss
Tom from Cambridge, England spotted this notice posted in “the tiniest little toilet in my college hall” — so tiny, he says, there’s “barely enough room to fit a dog in there if you tried.” (But a few raw steaks? Perhaps!)
(Massive Canine Infestation: sharing the stage with The Light Brown Apple Moth Debacle at a Warped Tour show near you!)
related: So many questions
Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · food · fun with malapropisms · Say wha? · toilet · U.K. · vermin · WTF?
“A few years back I was living in a halfway house in Canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes Alex in Australia. “One morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (The coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the fridge was the best form of attack.)
The fridge incident went unresolved for many months, Alex says, because none of the residents could be bothered to move it back inside…and nobody had $3 to spare. In fact, he says, no one ever seemed all too concerned about the whole thing, explaining, “because we spent most of our money on vice, we had no food to put in the fridge anyway.”
Eventually (long afterAlex moved out) the fridge was declared a traffic hazard, and a charity took it away.
related: Um, Rene Hall?
Tags: actions speak louder · Australia · Canberra · CAPS LOCK · fridge · money · questionable logic · roommates · stealing · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are
If you’ve ever tut-tutted over the consequences of big-box stores and online retailers overtaking small businesses, you’ll be heartened to hear that some folks have figured out how to bring those old-fashioned mom-n-pop ideas about customer service into the digital age…with the help of a big ol’ corporation called eBay!
While browsing the auction site for some new shades, my pal Josh stumbled across one such example — a listing from a Florida-based eBayer who goes by the name of whiteblizzard70.
This goes on for several more paragraphs (see for yourself), but I’ll skip to my favorite part — the postscript.
(Josh decided not to bid.)
related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers
extra credit: How do you get out of an ebay auction? [consumerist.com]
P.S. This post reminded me of another note my friend Josh told me about a few months back — a piece of reader mail he’d received as an editor at the music mag Blender. Granted, most readers who take the time to write in to magazines like Blender are at least a little bit…off, to say the least. But the last part of this letter — a response to an “Ask Blender” column about the urban legend that Debbie Harry of Blondie was once abducted by Ted Bundy — is genuinely spine-chilling. (Passive-aggressive? Not so much. Creepy? Um, yes.)
Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · college life · eBay · Florida · more aggressive than passive · Pompano Beach · spelling and grammar police
“This morning we were reminded via an office-wide email that we must comply with the official timekeeping rules,” writes an anonymous federal employee in Colorado. “That means recording the correct times time sheets, not being absent during core hours without submitting a leave slip, not being off campus except for lunch hour or approved leave — you know, everything short of requiring hall passes to use the restrooms.” (Really, would you expect anything less from the United States government?)
Later that day, a print-out appeared on the bulletin board for a training called “dealing with difficult people.”
This follow-up note was posted soon after.
Adds our submitter: “As far as I know, no one has actually been fired or threatened with firing for not complying.” (Again, this is the federal government we’re talking about.)
related: Four approaches to ice-cube maintenance
extra credit: “The Audacity of Government” [thisamericanlife.org]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Colorado · Comic Sans Alert · fired · McDonalds · meta · not-so-veiled threats · now that's management · office · the government
This masterpiece is a gift from the collection of Zedral (Morgantown, West Virginia, 2008). The original installation also includes a trail of small arrows pointing customers toward the register, along with multiple post-it reiterations along the way.
related: Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif
Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · Morgantown · retail hell
What kind of objectionable trash do you suppose is being disposed of in these bins? (Half-eaten curries? Yesterday’s Times?) How many hours of company time did the sign’s designer spend on this full-color laminated masterpiece? What is that comma doing there? and how, exactly, how are these bins to be monitored?
related: Servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day
Tags: bathroom · big brother-ish · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · garbage · Ireland · now that's management · office
Where do you suppose this “anomous” Tampa, Florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?
Interested? here’s a free preview!
related: Your to lazy
Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · gloriously redundant · irregular capitalization · kids today · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2008 · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · Tampa · the lawn · unnecessary "quotation marks"