Entries Tagged as 'CAPS LOCK'

Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

January 20th, 2008 · 61 Comments

Rachel in Virginia says her two roommates, “despite seeing and talking to me multiple times a day, decide to air their grievances through notes.” These grievances include being responsible for a $200 water bill “because i wash my face and hands at night and in the morning.” rachel has decided that enough is enough.

To paraphrase the Dude paraphrasing Bush Senior: This passive-aggression will not stand, man.

I am not longer accepting passive aggressive notes from people I live with. If you want to complain, talk to me like an adult. Heart, Rachel

Meanwhile, Ben in Helena, Montana says he loves passive-aggressive notes.

In fact, he loves them so much that he had these special sticky notes printed up — both as an homage to our humble projet and “to encourage and facilitate the leaving of such notes.”

Another Passive-Aggressive Note from Ben: Please let me know if you need more work to do! :)

Adds Ben, “They’ve proved so popular I already need to order some more.” (Unclear whether this is a good thing.)

related: “That shit is disrespectful”

Tags: CAPS LOCK · heart · meta · Montana · smiley · Virginia

Mad Man

January 15th, 2008 · 92 Comments

It was a “killer busy” week at the office, so Gord in Ontario admits that he and his ad-business coworkers left the place in a certain state of disarray. (Such is the wont of “creative professionals.”) Unfortunately, the boss chose that weekend to pop in to give some people an impromptu tour. On Monday, these adorable little thought balloons were posted all around the office.

I don't want anything on the floor again! Ever! Ger this crap off the floor and into an organized area. This is DISGUSTING. You've spilled coffee on MY books.

THIS PLACE IS A FUCKING SHITHOUSE. Boys, this is a man's business - it's an image business, I don't know how far you expect to go with this company but I can tell you right now - I will only associate myself with people who show professional attitude to every phase. If you want to survive you'd better start thinking like business men.

The boss never mentioned the incident again. But rationalizing, it seems, that a sleeping dog is just a dog waiting to be kicked, Gord and his coworkers turned the notes into a T-shirt.

related: Is this what a post-post-feminist looks like?

Tags: Canada · CAPS LOCK · casual sexism · cleaning · office · Ontario · that's disgusting · that's unprofessional

This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

January 14th, 2008 · 75 Comments

Amanda spotted this on the door of the post office in Milford, Pennsylvania. (Confidential to the fecal matter general: Dude, I know recycling can be a hassle sometimes, but this seems like a little much.)

Please help us catch the customer that is depositing FECES in our lobby trash cans lobby trash is only for paper trash

Perhaps the Brooklynites who issued this poetical preemptive warning knew what they were doing all along…

a legionnaire's idea of epigrammatic wit

related: this is why your server is cranky

Tags: CAPS LOCK · garbage · going postal · more like crazy · Pennsylvania · shit

Is nothing sacred?

January 5th, 2008 · 139 Comments

Poor Chase.

This was my brand new toorthbrush, given to me, special by the dentist because I brush my gums toohard. It has softer bristles than you can buy in the sotre. Thanks a lot "whoever!" Enjoy the toothbrush! I told you writing my name wouldn't change anything!

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · hygiene · New Jersey · roommates · thanks (but not really)

Office anthropomorphism

December 29th, 2007 · 65 Comments

Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?

From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

USE ME RINSE ME + help keep me from getting ICKY! Thank you, Sponge

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

DID YOU FLUSH ME AND WIPE OFF MY SEAT????

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

I noticed I am not shut when people enter or exit. Please make sure I am shut upon exiting or entering. -The Door

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:

If You Guys Don't Keep Me Clean I'm walking away from you If you don't Believe TRY M

(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)

related: I guess that’s why

Tags: Annapolis · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · confusion??? · D.C. · irregular capitalization · Maryland · microwave · opening/closing · San Antonio · San Francisco · Texas · toilet

These walls are NOT soundproof.

December 18th, 2007 · 135 Comments

Jared says this sign was posted in both the men’s and women’s restrooms at his office in Salt Lake City, Utah. “It seems that someone does not like hearing people ‘pushing,’” he says.

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS! Conversations and bodily function noises can be heard by others outside this room. THESE WALLS ARE NOT SOUNDPROOF.

related: Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?


Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · eww · excessive underlining · noise · office · privacy · Salt Lake City · that's disgusting

Adio, amigo

December 12th, 2007 · 103 Comments

Our anonymous submitter saw this note posted on the door to the walk-in cooler at a convenience store in Boerne, Texas. “The clerk told me that the Red Bull delivery guy had been drinking Red Bull and leaving the empty cans on the floor of the walk-in,” our submitter says. “In her words, ‘he was knockin’ himself off!’”

adio, amigo

(the full scene)

but it gives you wings

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.”

Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · message to all intended for one · spelling and grammar police · stealing

It’s not food, mister — it’s ice cream!

November 29th, 2007 · 100 Comments

Tourist traps have the best signs. More proof? This exercise in subtlety is from Provincetown, Mass., where it was spotted by intrepid vacationer Teresa from Boise.

Ice cream: apparently no longer a food

Exhibit b) is from Washington, D.C., in a store Sam says sold “all sorts of crap, from Nixon and Michael Jackson pins to African drums and sweaters.”

No Food No Drink No Smoking No Ice Cream

And in Las Vegas, even “the ice cream of the future” doesn’t get a special exemption.

But...it's the ice cream of the future!

Tags: beverages · blitzkrieg approach · Cape Cod · CAPS LOCK · D.C. · food · ice cream · Massachusetts · questionable logic · smoking · tourists

I’ve got my eye on you

November 27th, 2007 · 135 Comments

Laura spotted this punchline of a note (“you know it’s time to move out when…”) at her apartment building in downtown Brooklyn. Or rather, her former apartment building. It’s unclear whether the note-leaver was motivated by recent research suggesting that pictures of eyes may deter crime.

Attn: To the Ass-hole who keeps breaking & entering this building to steal the locks off the doors, you will be caught.

Meanwhile, Kim in Worcester, Massachusetts spotted a convenience store taking a similarly whimsical approach to theft prevention.

Did you know? Stealing is a crime. When we catch you we will call the police and have you arrested. We are watching you and so are the camera's [sic]. Say cheese!

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Brooklyn · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · Massachusetts · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · the po-po · Worcester

“No” questions asked

November 26th, 2007 · 122 Comments

I love how the notewriter quickly abandons the initial pretense here, then completely throws in the towel with the last line.

Will the people who "borrowed" our flower boxes (white flowers, dirt and all) please return them? No questions asked. :(  (Except - WHY???)

Thanks to Adam in San Francisco for spotting this masterpiece!

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · sad face · San Francisco · stealing