Entries Tagged as 'CAPS LOCK'

What, no highlighting?

November 26th, 2007 · 107 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Dearborn, Michigan spotted this gem in a women’s restroom at her office of “several hundred financial and information technology professionals” — perhaps the future workplace of a “trifling” young UC-Berkeley student?

Unbelievable. Someone washed their HAIR in this sink, DONOT use until the cleaning lady cleans IT!!! Brushing your teeth and washing your hands, is normal, washing your hair is just plain NASTY and trifling! I hate to see what your house looks like!

related: I think it’s going to be a long long time

Tags: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hair · hygiene · Michigan · office

WoW, indeed.

November 22nd, 2007 · 64 Comments

You might think a hermit-like Warcraft addict would make the ideal roommate (no noisy sex, no hogging the remote…) but as this little piece of passive-aggressive gold demonstrates, there are some other issues to contend with. Like, say, the stench.

While I am happy for you, in that you have found new "friends" by play[ing] World of Warcraft, I am concerned

(From an anonymous submitter in Portland, Oregon.)

related: Let me help you out

Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · gaming · get a life · hygiene · odor · Portland · roommates

Be informed, Homeland Security will be

November 6th, 2007 · 197 Comments

PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.

be informed, homeland security will be

related: Your to lazy

extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · gloriously redundant · graffiti · landlords and property managers · loitering · most popular notes of 2007 · New Jersey · Newark · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · shameless meme-mongering · smoking · vandalism

Free markets, free people, free papers

October 19th, 2007 · 217 Comments

Another doozy of an apartment manager note from Oakland, California! Our anonymous submitter wasn’t able to save any of those 14 notices, so it’s unclear if any of them were anything like this one.

if only they had consulted m-w.com

related: love, apt. 3

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · guilt trip · landlords and property managers · neighbors · newspaper · Oakland · obnoxious definition · stealing

You gotta keep ’em separated

October 18th, 2007 · 184 Comments

This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”

OK, WE GIVE UP!

Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · college life · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · microwave · opening/closing · Orange County · reverse psychology · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

I’d like to buy the world a…Gatorade?

October 17th, 2007 · 207 Comments

Keith spotted this note in the employee break room of a clothing store outside of Hartford, Conn.

The kicker? According to the employees, says Keith, “After the note was posted, the guy spitefully mixed the selection buttons up even worse.”

Dear Vending Machine Person.  Please make sure that your are changing the selection tabs when you update the drinks. Gatorade (although delicious) is not Iced Tea, and Fanta is not Iced Tea, neither is Coke. Thanks for your cooperation.

(Altogether now: “that Gatorade is…”)

related: fucking delicious

Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · Coke · Connecticut · Hartford · vending machine drama

Down and dirty down under (dear)

October 12th, 2007 · 146 Comments

When our saga begins, our anonymous submitter’s girlfriend was living in a tiny apartment in Sydney, Australia. Due to space constraints, she was temporarily sleeping on what our submitter admits was “possibly one of the world’s shittiest sofabeds.”

GLAD U HAVE GREAT SEX LIFE but we think it's time to replace yr old bed dear, sound awful

WE DONT CARE WHEN U have SEX but the sound of YR old bed very DISTURBING !!!

But while the mailbox notes were presumably written first (based on the tone) they weren’t actually discovered until after a third note was slipped under the apartment door…

YOUR OLD SPRING BED VERY NOISY WHEN YOU GUYS HAVING SEX!!!

Mortified, our loving couple did, in fact, move their mattress to the floor. But that didn’t seem to placate their dear nameless neighb, who pinned this note to the the building’s common noticeboard…

If you sleep often get Disturb especially like last night between 1-3 am caused by sex marathon

“Ironically,” our submitter says, “it was found when we were moving out the horrible couch.”

related: visual aids always help

Tags: "helpful" advice · Australia · awk abbrev · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2007 · neighbors · noise · saga · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · Sydney

Wrath mat

October 10th, 2007 · 163 Comments

Writes an anonymous submitter in New York City: “So, my mom bought me this doormat that says ‘leave.’ You know, haha, funny joke, like the ones that say ‘go away.’ Well, apparently my neighbor didn’t find it too humorous.”

New occupants of Apt. 3C. Your incredibly bad taste, and warped mentality, are not welcome in our mutually shared space.

Adds our submitter: “Some back story: the woman has lived in the apartment across the hall for 40 years and collects cats and garbage, according to the super.”

related: Really, enough with the weather

Tags: a matter of taste · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · etiquette · kids today · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · New York

Can I lick it?

October 8th, 2007 · 98 Comments

No, you can’t  — at least not near the copy machine at Erin’s office in Indianapolis.

Please use the sticky finger & not saliva

Meanwhile, Alvaro’s office in Madrid is having licking issues of its own near the office coffee machine. (Translation: “Please do not lick this teaspoon/ it’s for collective use.”)

Please do not lick this teaspoon; it's for collective use

And the licking doesn’t stop there…

PUBLIC NOTICE: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM LICKING OUR WINDOWS

Do not Lick Pressurized Lumber

DO NOT LICK

DO NOT LICK FENCE

P.S. Before you leave, please wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Espanol · Indianapolis · licking · Madrid · office · Spain

Going up?

October 2nd, 2007 · 53 Comments

Anna brings us this charitable little note from the her apartment building in London, Ontario.

“Anytime Stan” — proof that Canadians really are the nicest people on earth?

p.p.s. and lay off the corn!

Meanwhile, in Milwaukee

Many thanks to whoever puked in here...

And lastly, a vaguely dadaist interpretation, in what very well may be another one of L.A.’s elevator-cum-film sets.

related: cross-country elevator action

Tags: Canada · CAPS LOCK · elevator · ellipses-crazed · Los Angeles · Milwaukee · neighbors · Ontario · p.s. · vomit