Entries Tagged as 'car'

I don’t know you, and this is crazy, but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.

February 3rd, 2014 · 74 Comments

Writes Candice in Kansas: “I woke up to this on my car this morning. I don’t not know if I should be pissed they are creepin’ on my man or to just laugh uncontrollably.”

(Dear notewriter: Notice she didn’t say “…or stop parking there.”)

Hi, I don't really know you, in fact, I don't at all! You live upstairs and have a hot boyfriend/maybe just a roommate or friend with an adorable puppy. One time, however, you did give me a dirty look, but I've gotten over it. I write this to beg you to stop being lazy with your parking. I get it, t's cold. Life sucks and who wants to park in back. But where you parked now is blocking cars from getting in the drive. You totally are an inventor because you invented some new LAZY GIRL SPOT that's 4 feet from the door! I think you're a brilliant inventor but maybe move back 10 feet. You're not the only person alive! p.s. SORRY NOTE SORRY I love your boyfriend

related: She’s mine. All mine!

 

Tags: Kansas · kinda creepy · neighbors · parking

Greetings from the Polar Vortex

January 8th, 2014 · 126 Comments

Writes Steve in Boston: “This note cracks me up because it is, on the one hand, a request for more civility and, on the other hand, a not so thinly veiled threat.” (How so very Boston!)

By City of Boston law, I am entitled to save this spent after having spent an hour of backbreaking work shoveling. I hope you with respect your neighbors next time, you piece of shit. Love, Vigilante Justice P.S. Happy Holidays!

related: Can you dig it?

extra credit: Boston’s “parking chair” law [washingtonpost.com]

Tags: Boston · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · parking

Drivers of Walmart

November 1st, 2013 · 60 Comments

Sarah spotted this lovely handpainted sign just down the street from Walmart in a small town in Washington state.

Slow down dumbass. WalMart is open 24 hours!

Meanwhile, in another small town across the country, Megan in Virginia spotted this car in her local Walmart parking lot.

A 'man' driver did this!

related: That means you young man in the blue Subaru!!

Tags: car · driving · most popular notes of 2013 · small town living

Begging for a backstory

October 28th, 2013 · 38 Comments

Carolyn and her husband were intrigued by this message on a car they spotted at a roadside farmer’s market in Maryland. “We desperately wanted to know who the driver was and who wrote it,” Carolyn says. “Unfortunately, we never got to see either before we left.”

Bad Driver good girlfriend tho

So, what do you imagine the story is here?

related: What does your car say about you?

Tags: driving · Maryland · public shaming

Gee, I’m glad my car could ease your conscience

September 9th, 2013 · 76 Comments

Courtney’s friend Tom found this note — from our newest contender for douchecanoe of the year) — on the windshield of his Toyota FJ Cruiser.

Hi, I hit your lower passenger side bumper on my way into the spot next to you. I guess that is what happens when you drive a gas-guzzling wanna-be Jeep — so I don't feel so bad.  Hope you have insurance!

related: Yeah, I dinged your car, but you kinda deserved it

Tags: car · don't blame us · Park City · parking · questionable logic

I hope…

August 22nd, 2013 · 50 Comments

Lately, whenever I read a note like this, I can’t help but think of this bit by Louis CK:

Exhibit a) Spotted independently by both Kendy and Jane on the front gate of a cottage in a small English village. Writes Kendy: “I was surprised that in such a peaceful little place there were thieves bold enough to steal a child’s toy — and equally bold locals willing to publish their death wish to said thief!”

To the person who stole my 4 year old grandaughter's paddling pool, I hope you drown in it.

Exhibit b) From an office in Texas

To the lowlife who's been stealing people's lunches: I hope you develop chronic hemorrhoids.

Exhibit c) Found by John in Atlanta on the windshield of his car — which was parked just fine, he adds!

Dear Motherfucker, You park like an asshole I hope your kids get addicted to drugs. (Heart) Jack

Exhibit d) Also from Atlanta, specifically the campus of Georgia Tech — Justin says this was posted by every bike rack in the vicinity of the Electrical Engineering building. (So he ripped one down, took it home, and scanned it.)

Did you take a red Specialized bike from Van Leer on 1 Feb at noon? FUCK YOU. I hope you have an aneurysm and rot in a ditch. I am going to spend the rest of my days tracking you down. I will find you. You will never sleep again. No god will save you. I am coming for you.

related: Wishin’ and hopin’

Tags: parking · stealing

Check out this sick whip

August 18th, 2013 · 61 Comments

“I’m not a car guy,” writes our submitter from Los Angeles, “but I’m in love with my neighbor’s car. I walk by every day hoping a ‘For Sale’ sign will show up.” Today, he happened to found this note (which I read more like the beginning of a story story) stuck to the windshield instead.

My wife doesn't want me playing paintball with you anymore. I'll see ya at church.

Check out this sick whip!

related: Signed, Your Proud Wife

 

Tags: car · Los Angeles · love & marriage

Raid in the Shade

August 1st, 2013 · 87 Comments

Writes our submitter in Denver: “I parked my ’82 VW van in the closest guest spot to my home about a week ago, as I’ve been cleaning it out to sell it. Then I was sick for a few days so I didn’t leave the house. Today I found this on the windshield.”

Are you storing your car here? You can't have a prime shady spot!! Do you own or rent? Your OLD car should be parked in the center, let newer cars have the shade. But I guess its all about you. Move your car! or I'll be the one calling on you next time!

related: It’s my spot and I’ll park what I want to

Tags: car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · parking · so this is a thing?

Show yourself!

July 8th, 2013 · 33 Comments

Our submitter says this sign — written in marker on a section of faux wainscoting paneling — appeared last week in front of a neighbor’s house, deep in the foothills of Appalachia. I’m not sure who did the yelling,” our submitter adds, “but I now feel the uncontrollable urge to yell “PU@@Y!” every time I pass by.”

TO THE PERSON WHO YELLED PU@@Y AT ME WHILE DRIVING BY: COME SEE ME AND WE WILL FIND OUT WHO IS SCARED! SHOW YOURSELF

Slightly more mysterious is this sign, which showed up one day on a dead-end country road in Washington state. Says our submitter, Chris: “There aren’t that many neighbors out here, so it would not have been too hard to find the ’1st class jerk.’”

 To the guy driving the black pickup with two German Shepheds [sic] You're a 1st class JERK!

But the most mysterious of them all comes to us from Providence, Rhode Island. Says Melinda: “My neighbors are all friendly and we all know each other’s first names, so I have no idea why they would put such an ominous sign in their yard. But why else would you post this sign unless it was for someone that might see it?”

Shame on you you know who you are!

related: Cell phones kill ‘possums!

Tags: driving · neighbors · pointlessly self-censored profanity · small town living · you know who you are

Over the (top) rainbow

May 27th, 2013 · 65 Comments

Writes Tom in Cleveland: “In the parking garage of my apartment building, some B parked in assigned spot 144, which belonged to another B, who then covered B1′s Jeep in harshly-worded notes on multi-colored construction paper.”

DISLIKE This person parked in my spot. Inconsiderate much? I had to park 3 blocks away just so a person could park in a spot I paid for. I'm posting pics of your car info on social media. I have 20,000+ followers. Don't worry...I called management. Leopard print? Try the Jersey Shore!!!

related: It’s my spot and I’ll park what I want to

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Cleveland · parking · public shaming