Entries Tagged as 'car'

Presenting the new Mercedes-Benz No-Class

May 16th, 2013 · 1 Comment

Writes our submitter in Brisbane, Australia: “It wasn’t me that reported the rich guy to the council, but it sure gave me a few laughs.”

To whom it may concern, Thank you so much for having my car booked today. You must have nothing better to do than make petty complaints to council. Never mind it is only $100, I make that much in half an hour every day. You must not be a very good driver if you were not able to get out of your driveway that had about 3 meters of room still available. I could have easily driven in and out of there without any issue with the huge amount of space left. Perhaps you should re-sit your driving exams again? I think you are jealous I have a new Mercedes-Benz and you don't? You do not seem to be very well educated in that you can not even spell inconsiderate. Kind regards, A Mercedes-Benz Driver

related: I know, all black sedans look the same

extra credit: This Is Why People Think Mercedes-Benz Drivers Are Asshats [jalopnik.com]

Tags: Australia · car · money · parking · thanks (but not really)

I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work there, Lou.

March 27th, 2013 · 83 Comments

Morgan from Fargo, North Dakota went out with friends one night in Grand Forks, and the parking situation was, in his words, “atrocious.” He spotted this message on the dash of one particularly poorly-parked pickup.

Though it’s hardly the most offensive part of this “multi-offensive” note, Morgan was just as confused by Andy’s Iowa/Texas hate as I was. Interestingly, at least one recent analysis found the state with the worst drivers to be none other than…any guesses?

Are you from Iowa or Texas? Because you park like a...

 related: When parking gets political

Tags: North Dakota · parking

It helps to have friends in high places

December 9th, 2012 · 42 Comments

Writes Rob in Brighton: “We live on a middle-class urban street with too many cars and people who think they have a God-given right to a place. Sometimes people push their luck and make life difficult for others with their parking, and hilarity ensues.” One Sunday, Father Kevin even got in on the action…followed by his boss.

You have parked your car like an idiot!  You are blocking the (obvious) entrance to the Church Car Park — today (Sunday) it would be in continuous use. You've parked well on to the double yellow line. —Father Kevin (Parish Priest)   You are Forgiven. Love, Jesus

Meanwhile, in South Carolina…

Everytime you steal this parking spot you kill a kitten Do you want to be a kitten killer? Jesus is watching

related: Your car has been “baptized”

Tags: Jesus · parking · U.K.

Prepare your hi-diddly-hole, neighborino

November 21st, 2012 · 102 Comments

Ben in California says he got this notice in the mail a few days ago, though he’s not sure if the rest of the neighborhood got it, too. “These folks have lived there for about six months, but I’ve never talked to them. I guess now I know why.”

We just moved into 412 E. H St. and would like to straighten some things out. 1. We don't need any new friends, we have enough. Don't try to stop by for small talk! 2. Don't park in front of our property! 3. Keep your pets quiet and we will get along.

related: A not-so-subtle clue that your co-worker isn’t interested in small talk

Tags: neighbors · parking · small talk · way harsh

Sentence structure could use some improvement

October 30th, 2012 · 29 Comments

Several months ago, Kenney in Sydney moved in with some new housemates. Last week, he happened to park in a different spot in the driveway. (“We had been asked to not park in the garage as it was used as a gym/personal trainer studio.”)

“The next morning,” he says, “I found this ‘anonymous’ note — despite having just talked with the person responsible, without any mention of their concern.” By way of a response, Kenney decided to give the note the red pen treatment.

Dear Housemate's Please take under consideration that the parking arragement tonight was not Thought out properly we have a garage that one car could go in & instead Driveway looks like a parking lot please think of all housemate's living under this rood not just yourself Thank you. !  12/28 42% A clean document with some folds, sentence structure could use improvement along with grammar. Would love to discuss your results to improve your persuasive letter writing ability! D+

related: I give your passive-aggressive note a C-

Tags: Australia · most popular notes of 2012 · parking · rebuttals · roommates · spelling and grammar police · Sydney

Welcome to Charm City

October 5th, 2012 · 30 Comments

Spotted by Matt in Baltimore, Maryland…

Are you the fuckface who was parked on Eastern a few weeks back for close to a week taking up 2 spots? Maybe parking isn't tight in NY, but in Charm City, we like to think of our neighbors! Learn how to park A-hole!  Dear Person who wrote this Note, Sorry, but I wasn't the person who parked on Eastern Ave. a few weeks ago and took up two spaces. I know, all black sedans look the same. An honest mistake, I'm sure. However, I didn't appreciate being called a

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

Tags: Baltimore · most popular notes of 2012 · Oops? · parking

Canadian is Angry; Still Says “Thank You”

August 12th, 2012 · 18 Comments

Rachael in Edmonton spotted this billboard-on-wheels in the lot at the RV dealership where she works. “The guy was buying a trailer from us, but after seeing seen his van, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Thank you, Crysler Canada & Crosstown Motors for selling me the most unreliable vehicle I have ever owned!  2.5 year old Sprinter Van now for sale - Only been towed 1,2,3, 4 times - Only been in for repairs 1,2,3,4, 5 times - Replaced Tires 1st year - Replaced battery 2nd year - Replaced radiator fan assembly - Replaced Alternator and cables - Rusting everywhere - Many other problems included ... (no extra charge)

After all, you wouldn’t want a full-blown Canadian protest on your hands…

related: Good God, Lemon.

extra credit: A Canadian robbery [CTVNews.ca]

Tags: Canada · car · Edmonton · public shaming · thanks (but not really)

Your car has been “baptized”

August 1st, 2012 · 46 Comments

Andy in Alexandria, Virginia passes this sign every day on his way to work, and says he’s always found the quotations around the word “baptized” to be a bit ominous. (“I have no idea what they are getting at,” he says.)

CHURCH PARKING ONLY VIOLATORS WILL BE CHURCH PARKING ONLY VIOLATORS WILL BE 'BAPTIZED'

Of course, if this sign seems familiar to you, that’s because this ol’ knee-slapper just might be the “unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy” of church parking signs. To wit:

Violators will be Baptized

Only Violators will be Baptized

Violators will be baptized

And back in Vienna, Virginia, it’s the cars that get baptized.

Church Parking UNAUTHORIZED VEHICLES WILL BE BAPTIZED

Related: What Would Jesus Text?

Tags: Jesus · most popular notes of 2012 · parking

The not-so-laid-back part of Portland

July 30th, 2012 · 69 Comments

“I don’t know the back story here,” says Katie in Portland, Oregon, “but it seems like a better solution would have been to just, I don’t know, not park illegally?”

Dear Neighbor, Please extend the courtesy of ringing my doorbell and speaking to me before calling Parking Enforcement again. Thank you, Terri

related: How NOT to get out of a parking ticket

Tags: neighbors · parking · Portland · the po-po