Entries Tagged as 'car'

Prepare your hi-diddly-hole, neighborino

November 21st, 2012 · 102 Comments

Ben in California says he got this notice in the mail a few days ago, though he’s not sure if the rest of the neighborhood got it, too. “These folks have lived there for about six months, but I’ve never talked to them. I guess now I know why.”

We just moved into 412 E. H St. and would like to straighten some things out. 1. We don't need any new friends, we have enough. Don't try to stop by for small talk! 2. Don't park in front of our property! 3. Keep your pets quiet and we will get along.

related: A not-so-subtle clue that your co-worker isn’t interested in small talk

Tags: neighbors · parking · small talk · way harsh

Sentence structure could use some improvement

October 30th, 2012 · 29 Comments

Several months ago, Kenney in Sydney moved in with some new housemates. Last week, he happened to park in a different spot in the driveway. (“We had been asked to not park in the garage as it was used as a gym/personal trainer studio.”)

“The next morning,” he says, “I found this ‘anonymous’ note — despite having just talked with the person responsible, without any mention of their concern.” By way of a response, Kenney decided to give the note the red pen treatment.

Dear Housemate's Please take under consideration that the parking arragement tonight was not Thought out properly we have a garage that one car could go in & instead Driveway looks like a parking lot please think of all housemate's living under this rood not just yourself Thank you. !  12/28 42% A clean document with some folds, sentence structure could use improvement along with grammar. Would love to discuss your results to improve your persuasive letter writing ability! D+

related: I give your passive-aggressive note a C-

Tags: Australia · most popular notes of 2012 · parking · rebuttals · roommates · spelling and grammar police · Sydney

Welcome to Charm City

October 5th, 2012 · 30 Comments

Spotted by Matt in Baltimore, Maryland…

Are you the fuckface who was parked on Eastern a few weeks back for close to a week taking up 2 spots? Maybe parking isn't tight in NY, but in Charm City, we like to think of our neighbors! Learn how to park A-hole!  Dear Person who wrote this Note, Sorry, but I wasn't the person who parked on Eastern Ave. a few weeks ago and took up two spaces. I know, all black sedans look the same. An honest mistake, I'm sure. However, I didn't appreciate being called a

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

Tags: Baltimore · most popular notes of 2012 · Oops? · parking

Canadian is Angry; Still Says “Thank You”

August 12th, 2012 · 18 Comments

Rachael in Edmonton spotted this billboard-on-wheels in the lot at the RV dealership where she works. “The guy was buying a trailer from us, but after seeing seen his van, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Thank you, Crysler Canada & Crosstown Motors for selling me the most unreliable vehicle I have ever owned!  2.5 year old Sprinter Van now for sale - Only been towed 1,2,3, 4 times - Only been in for repairs 1,2,3,4, 5 times - Replaced Tires 1st year - Replaced battery 2nd year - Replaced radiator fan assembly - Replaced Alternator and cables - Rusting everywhere - Many other problems included ... (no extra charge)

After all, you wouldn’t want a full-blown Canadian protest on your hands…

related: Good God, Lemon.

extra credit: A Canadian robbery [CTVNews.ca]

Tags: Canada · car · Edmonton · public shaming · thanks (but not really)

Your car has been “baptized”

August 1st, 2012 · 46 Comments

Andy in Alexandria, Virginia passes this sign every day on his way to work, and says he’s always found the quotations around the word “baptized” to be a bit ominous. (“I have no idea what they are getting at,” he says.)

CHURCH PARKING ONLY VIOLATORS WILL BE CHURCH PARKING ONLY VIOLATORS WILL BE 'BAPTIZED'

Of course, if this sign seems familiar to you, that’s because this ol’ knee-slapper just might be the “unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy” of church parking signs. To wit:

Violators will be Baptized

Only Violators will be Baptized

Violators will be baptized

And back in Vienna, Virginia, it’s the cars that get baptized.

Church Parking UNAUTHORIZED VEHICLES WILL BE BAPTIZED

Related: What Would Jesus Text?

Tags: Jesus · most popular notes of 2012 · parking

The not-so-laid-back part of Portland

July 30th, 2012 · 69 Comments

“I don’t know the back story here,” says Katie in Portland, Oregon, “but it seems like a better solution would have been to just, I don’t know, not park illegally?”

Dear Neighbor, Please extend the courtesy of ringing my doorbell and speaking to me before calling Parking Enforcement again. Thank you, Terri

related: How NOT to get out of a parking ticket

Tags: neighbors · parking · Portland · the po-po

Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?

June 18th, 2012 · 18 Comments

By the end of the summer, could Carly be the new Kanye of passive-aggressive notes? She does have the Beliebers behind her…

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but quit blocking out driveway asshat

related: A little bump and slide

extra credit: Best of the “Call Me Maybe” meme [buzzfeed]

Tags: most popular notes of 2012 · Oakland · parking

Love, Numb Nuts

February 20th, 2012 · 44 Comments

Ty — an innocent bystander in this situation — saw this reply note taped to the door of his apartment building in Omaha. “I LOVE it!’ says Ty. Me too, Ty. Me too.

Polite neighbor — Thank You for that lovely note reminding me how crappy my car is...but just for you, I just spent more $ than my car is worth to fix it!! So sleep tight :) Love, Numb Nuts P.S. I really am sorry that you had to hear it. I know how annoying it is, but next time be a little nicer...please.

related: Save the earth, kill the kids?

Tags: car · heart · neighbors · Omaha · p.s. · smiley · thanks (but not really)

The Vicar of Glibly

February 6th, 2012 · 29 Comments

Spotted by George outside his local church in East London:

The vicarage drive is in constant use. Please consider your ETERNAL SALVATION before parking here without permission!

related: He died for your clip art

Tags: God · London · parking · you're like so going to hell

Good God, Lemon.

January 31st, 2012 · 52 Comments

Our submitter spotted this unusual sales pitch while driving in Livermore, California. (“The dealership sucks, the car sucks, but it’s for sale if you want to buy it!”)

This pile of crap gets 8 mpg not the 18 to 22 mpg I was told. Livermore Ford will outright lie to sell you garbage. A Sunkist Ford. It is very dependable to breakdown. Super crappy ... for sale.

related: You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.

Tags: California · car · public shaming