Entries Tagged as 'car'

A little bump and slide

August 30th, 2011 · 67 Comments

According to our submitter, this car hasn’t been spotted in the path since.

THANKS FOR ALWAYS PARKING ACROSS THE PATH. IT GIVES ME THE CHANCE TO BE A MOVIE STAR & SLIDE ACROSS YOUR HOOD NOW & THEN. TRY IT, IT'S AWESOME!

related: BAD PARK YOU!

Tags: car · most popular notes of 2011 · parking · reverse psychology · smartass

It’s my spot and I’ll park what I want to

August 9th, 2011 · 125 Comments

Kate in Melbourne caught a glimpse of this note from the street, and it looked so ridiculous that she snuck into the private lot to get a closer look. Adds Kate: “I imagine this person is quite popular with the neighbours.”

DO NOT REMOVE. This is the property of unit 1. We pay rent for this carspace and shall therefore use it for whatever vehicle we want to. [crossed out scribbles]

DO NOT REMOVE. This is the property of unit 1. We pay rent for this carspace and shall therefore use it for whatever vehicle we want to. [crossed out scribbles]

(By the way, Kate apologizes for the poor resolution of the photos; she only had her mobile phone with her at the time.)

related: Dear self-appointed parking cop: please direct your anger and self-righteousness elsewhere.

extra credit: This kid parallel parks better than I do [youtube]

Tags: kids · Melbourne · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · oh snap · parking

Sorry I hit your car, but whatever, it’s a tacky piece of crap anyway

July 27th, 2011 · 42 Comments

Explains our submitter in North Carolina: ”My friend walked out to the parking lot to find a big dent and a sticky note on her car, which still had some writing on it from her recent birthday.” And while the driver didn’t just dent-and-dash, the fact that he or she didn’t bother to leave a name/plate/policy number — just an entirely unnecessary postscript — made the whole situation a less-than-satisfying belated birthday surprise.

Sorry I hit your car, you can call my insurance and sort it out [phone number redacted]. P.S. You should clean this writing off your fucking car.

related: I dinged your car, but you kind of deserved it.

Tags: car · non-apology apology · p.s. · Raleigh · unsolicited feedback

So NOT where I thought that one was going…

July 24th, 2011 · 49 Comments

Writes Stacey in Massachusetts: “The church around the corner from my house is famous for the little rants on their sign, but this one definitely takes the cake.” Obviously, texting while driving isn’t cool, but as Stacey put it: “For a church, it just seems a bit…hostile.”

Love Jesus? To meet him now, text while driving!

Meanwhile, I just opened up the August issue of Texas Monthly to see this slightly more gently worded version…

related: Sincerely, God

extra credit: Church sign generator

Tags: driving · Jesus · Massachusetts · questionable logic · reverse psychology · rhetorical question · text message

Sure, blame it on the kids

April 24th, 2011 · 175 Comments

“My neighbor taped this note to my door,” says Valerie in Portland. “I don’t know who scratched her car, but I do know she could benefit from spell check.” (Harumph.)

Attn. Val...Please do not park next to our car as we keep Finding Key marks now dents in my doors, as you don't watch your Kids! I will make a claim if this persists if you even have insurence [sic]...Please respect, thank you!

related: Unattended children will be shot.

Tags: car · kids · neighbors · parking · Portland

Brake Check Reality Check

April 14th, 2011 · 175 Comments

Two words: Team Fletcher!

[Status update:] I bet if I breakchecked [sic] this old man behind me... His Kia would be fucked. Get off my ass grandpa... [Comment:] Maybe if you keep texting & driving the person in front of you will brake check YOU!

related: Facebook is for frenemies

Tags: cell phone · driving · Facebook · oh snap · Tampa · text message

And this is my fault…how?

April 3rd, 2011 · 77 Comments

Okay, so I’ve gotta give Scott credit here. I know I’m not the only driver who’s had the frustrating experience of returning to your parked car to find some mysterious new dent or scratch with the perpetrator long gone and no note in sight. Or perhaps you’ve been on the other side of things, and justified not leaving a note because the idiot had parked too damn close or in an non-legal parking spot or whatnot.

And yet, says our puzzled submitter, “I was pulled fully into a parking space, well within the white lines, with space on both sides. Why does he try to ‘kind of’ make it my fault?”

(I’m guessing it’s because he’s “kind of” passive-aggressive.)

Sorry! I dinged your car, but you kind of deserved it the way you parked. My # is [redacted]. Call if you have any issues. :)   -Scott

Of course, I’d say that’s still preferable to receiving a note from someone who’s “kind of” a total asshole…

Hi, my name is Jack I accidently [sic] hit your car & someone saw me so I'm pretending to right down my details. SORRY. Jack

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

Tags: car · don't blame us · most popular notes of 2011 · parking · smiley · Virginia

Your parking job brings one word to mind

March 15th, 2011 · 69 Comments

An anonymous submitter from Eau Claire, Wisconsin alerts us to an all-too-common scenario: An accusatory note was left on a friend’s windshield after her parking job was deemed inadequate. Alas, the friend was not even at fault! As our submitter dutifully explains, the car parked behind her actually arrived after she had parked, making it appear as if she had carelessly taken up two spots.

Excuse you, You unfortunately are parked like an asshole. Please avoid this in the future. Love, the world

To avoid wrongful accusations, it’s sometimes useful to frame one’s critique in the form of a question. Dan of Dorchester, Massachusetts provides us with a prime example. According to Dan, the irate woman who left this note had discovered the offending vehicle parked in her spot at 4 a.m. the night before. Her only faux pas (if any) was that, upon making the discovery, the note-writer elected to honk repeatedly at the car, waking our submitter.

have you always been a fucking asshole?

Finally, Sam in San Francisco sent us this delightfully succinct note, suggestive of a world where the middle man is no longer necessary, and all poorly parked vehicles conveniently identify themselves.

I AM AN ASSHOLE

related: Less expensive (and more passive-aggressive) than having it towed

Tags: car · most popular notes of 2011 · parking

Less expensive (and more passive-aggressive) than having it towed

February 8th, 2011 · 76 Comments

For all practical purposes, the way New York City handles vehicles parked on the wrong side of the street…

This vehicle violates N.Y.C. parking regulations. As a result, this street could not be properly cleaned. A cleaner New York is up to you! Remove with warm water and scraper. Please do not litter.

…really isn’t that different from the strategy employed by this creative vigilante in Illinois. (As always, just click the image to enlarge.)

[In peanut butter:] less expensive than having it towed [Smaller:] We are happy to oblige our friends and neighbors with the use of our lot, please ask in advance. Thanks.

“Remove with warm water”?” Yeah…good luck with that.

related: Can you dig it?

Tags: car · Illinois · New York · parking

An old dog, up to the same old tricks

January 12th, 2011 · 116 Comments

One day, says Nancy in Arizona, her dad was getting in his car during his lunch break from Lowe’s (the home-improvement big-box store), when he found this note tucked into his door frame.

“He was surprised,” Nancy says, but instead of taking the contrarian approach, dear old Dad decided to humor the person and move his car one spot over. At the end of the day, he actually got a glimpse of the notewriter — a “rather old lady” who works as the store’s phone operator.

“We spent a lot of time discussing her possible reasons for wanting that specific parking spot back,” Nancy says — especially given that it doesn’t seem to have any particular advantage over the other 500 or so spots in the lot — but in the end, they just had to laugh.

I've parked in this space since 2002 I'd like my space back if you don't mind. Thank you

related: I’m gonna say this in the nicest way possible: don’t park in my spot.

Tags: Arizona · old folks · painfully polite · parking