“I guess I’m a bad parker,” says Renee in San Antonio — but really, how bad does a parking job have to be to inspire this kind of blind rage? Especially when the scene of the crime is the parking lot outside a big box store like Best Buy, not some precious residential block.

P.S. If you’re thinking “PMS bad,” next time I escape from the kitchen, I might have to give you a barefoot kick to the crotch.

related: When parking gets political

Shortly after moving to Columbus, Ohio, Julie received a welcome-wagon visit from her new neighbors…in the form of a post-it note stuck to the side of her motorcycle. Her bike, which was parked on the public city street across from her house, had apparently disrupted the neighborhood’s unofficial parking “regimin.”

“I complied with the rules of their little microcosm,” Julie says, “but I also turned the note into an overhead, which was a real gold mine for the rhetoric class I was teaching at Ohio State.”

Adds Julie: “Incidentally, when parked perpendicularly, a motorcycle uses roughly 2.5 feet of street.”

related:  I shoveled this spot. IT’S MINE.

…and then it turns out Ang’s friend is like, Heidi Klum, and she’s with standing there with her big growling bodyguard, and the Misogyny Factory boys are all like, “Ruh-roh! If only we’d been drinking that shitty beer that makes us act all ‘smooth!’” Or something.

Adds our submitter from East Lansing, Michigan: “I don’t know where Ang’s friend parked originally, but because there was rope attached to the car’s bumper, it looks like ‘The Factory’ moved it.”

related: Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

Heather saw this car parked in her Takoma Park, Maryland neighborhood, while Heather spotted the truck below in New Orleans. Perhaps Stephanie and Michael can form a support group with Rene Hall?

related: You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.

“The other morning,” says our submitter from Los Angeles, “my boyfriend found this typed (on an honest to goodness typewriter!) note left for him on his windshield.” (Another car on the block with out-of-state plates had a similar message.)

“We’re not sure if the WeHo suggestion was meant to be homophobic or to imply we should be hanging out with our pals Heidi and Spencer at Hyde. Since we are neither gay nor from the cast of the Hills, it’s hard to say.”

related: I’m gonna say this in the nicest way possible: don’t park in my spot.

Our submitter in Amherst, Massachusetts was heading to class at UMass one day when she saw no fewer than twelve of these signs posted throughout the hallways and doors of her apartment building.  “My neighbors had a fun time responding with comments all over them,” she says, at least for the day and half before they got taken down.

I think my favorite part of this one is the handwritten notes at the bottom. One neighbor suggests, “Perhaps you should talk to the people in this building instead of making them think you’re mean, dramatic and cowardly,” and the writer, pouty-faced, responds, “Well I have said this before and nobody listens.” (Unwritten response: “Boo-FUCKING-hoo. Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.” )

related: When parking gets political

I know, you didn’t want that Trucoat. But there is something you can do about it.

Just ask this driver from Portland, Oregon:

Or the owner of this truck, spotted by Chris in Kansas City, Missouri:

Or this guy, spotted by Paul in El Cajon, California:

Or this one, spotted by Leigh from Fort Mill, South Carolina:

At least now you know where not to go next time.

related: The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person

Who needs a “Powertrain warranty”? According to this Connecticut notewriter, if you buy a Ford, you get a lifetime worth of diplomat-worthy parking privileges!

Confession: I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 27. I am a terrible parker. (I am slow, but I try.) If only I had bought a Ford!

related: The Mini Cooper owner’s dilemma — “Save the earth, kill the kids?!”

extra credit: “Chevy” [urbandictionary.com]