Entries Tagged as 'car'

This note is like one of those asinine beer commercials come to life

June 30th, 2010 · 61 Comments

…and then it turns out Ang’s friend is like, Heidi Klum, and she’s with standing there with her big growling bodyguard, and the Misogyny Factory boys are all like, “Ruh-roh! If only we’d been drinking that shitty beer that makes us act all smooth!’” Or something.

Adds our submitter from East Lansing, Michigan: “I don’t know where Ang’s friend parked originally, but because there was rope attached to the car’s bumper, it looks like ‘The Factory’ moved it.”

Ang's friend, We aren't sure if you're hot so we will keep this as polite as possible. Despite your good intentions, your inability to park in a twenty car lot w/out blocking the only bottleneck in the diveway has left us no choice but to deem you a dumb bitch. Fuck off, The Factory P.S. You are lucky we didn't fuck up your car.

related: Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

Tags: "polite notice" · car · casual sexism · Michigan · p.s. · parking

Roommate revenge on wheels

June 15th, 2010 · 61 Comments

Heather saw this car parked in her Takoma Park, Maryland neighborhood, while Heather spotted the truck below in New Orleans. Perhaps Stephanie and Michael can form a support group with Rene Hall?

Stephanie [redacted] appropriates other people's property and destroys other people's belongings

Michael [redacted] Parks Like An Idiot

related: You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.

Tags: car · graffiti · New Orleans · parking · Takoma Park

But…the economy sucks back home

May 30th, 2010 · 50 Comments

“The other morning,” says our submitter from Los Angeles, “my boyfriend found this typed (on an honest to goodness typewriter!) note left for him on his windshield.” (Another car on the block with out-of-state plates had a similar message.)

“We’re not sure if the WeHo suggestion was meant to be homophobic or to imply we should be hanging out with our pals Heidi and Spencer at Hyde. Since we are neither gay nor from the cast of the Hills, it’s hard to say.”

GO BACK TO MICHIGAN!!! Your car is taking up too much space here!...GO ON!! LEEEEEAVE!! Go to West Hollywood or something!!!

related: I’m gonna say this in the nicest way possible: don’t park in my spot.

Tags: car · crazypants · Los Angeles · Michigan

Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

May 12th, 2010 · 85 Comments

Our submitter in Amherst, Massachusetts was heading to class at UMass one day when she saw no fewer than twelve of these signs posted throughout the hallways and doors of her apartment building.  “My neighbors had a fun time responding with comments all over them,” she says, at least for the day and half before they got taken down.

I think my favorite part of this one is the handwritten notes at the bottom. One neighbor suggests, “Perhaps you should talk to the people in this building instead of making them think you’re mean, dramatic and cowardly,” and the writer, pouty-faced, responds, “Well I have said this before and nobody listens.” (Unwritten response: “Boo-FUCKING-hoo. Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.” )

Do you see a fucking sign outside that says free parking?!!!! Get your freaking girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, crack dealer, etc. to go park somewhere else!!!! Just because you copulate on a regular basis doesn't mean they are entitled to make this their own personal free parking lot. I dish out over $500 fucking dollars a month to live here and so it is total and utter bullshit when I come back from campus at 3:15 in the fucking morning after a long ass day of work and I have to go find someplace else to park my car so I don't have to get a fucking ticket. If you are not paying rent here, go find some other fucking place to park your fucking car!

related: When parking gets political

Tags: bold underlined italics · car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · jealous much? · Massachusetts · neighbors · parking · rebuttals

You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.

May 6th, 2010 · 88 Comments

I know, you didn’t want that Trucoat. But there is something you can do about it.

Just ask this driver from Portland, Oregon:

This lousy paint job from Metro-Express on SE Powell

Or the owner of this truck, spotted by Chris in Kansas City, Missouri:

I bought my truck at Louisburg Ford BIG MISTAKE

Or this guy, spotted by Paul in El Cajon, California:

Mossy Nissan of El Cajon BURNED ME!

Or this one, spotted by Leigh from Fort Mill, South Carolina:

I WAS

At least now you know where not to go next time.

related: The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person

Tags: car

Ford Motor Company’s interesting new guerilla marketing campaign

April 6th, 2010 · 66 Comments

Who needs a “Powertrain warranty”? According to this Connecticut notewriter, if you buy a Ford, you get a lifetime worth of diplomat-worthy parking privileges!

Inconsiderate Driver,  You drive a piece of shit CHEVY that doesn't even deserve one parking spot, let alone two. It would be greatly appreciated if you only took up one parking spot, or simply bought a FORD b/c Chevys suck. Thanks :)

Confession: I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 27. I am a terrible parker. (I am slow, but I try.) If only I had bought a Ford!

related: The Mini Cooper owner’s dilemma — “Save the earth, kill the kids?!

extra credit: “Chevy” [urbandictionary.com]

Tags: car · Connecticut · parking · smiley · unsolicited feedback

And Jesus said: “Duhhh”

April 4th, 2010 · 118 Comments

Just one more special Easter note for you, kids. (Then I’m off to the drugstore to see if I can score any half-price Cadbury Mini Eggs.)

This one comes from Ray in Mount Vernon, Ohio, who said it was left on his wife’s windshield a while back, in response to a bumper sticker on her car that reads “What Would Buddha Do?”

Budda can't Do any-thing. He is still in the grave. Jesus rose from the grave. He is alive. Duhhh

Alrighty then. Back to your pagan traditions!

related: but He took the wheel

Tags: car · Ohio · unsolicited feedback

Princess Marmalade has been notified

March 24th, 2010 · 70 Comments

“Recently our neighbour falsely accused us of sending him a (passive?) aggressive letter,” says Joe in the U.K. “He was not a happy bunny.” Before an all-out note war commenced, however, the real culprit was apparently identified. Joe received this sincere note of apology the next day.

HELLO!! SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY I'VE FOUND OUT WHO PUT THE NOTE THROUGH MY DOOR IT WAS THE IDIOT WHO LIVES AT [redacted] WHO HAS IS HOUSE UP FOR SALE I WOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYONE'S CAR AND HE CAN PARK ANYWHERE HE AS NO CONSIDERATION FOR ANYONE ELSE HOWEVER PLEASE TELL YOUR CAT NOT TO SHIT ON MY FRONT GARDEN

Adds Joe: “We’re not really sure what the car thing is about — probably a reference to the original note we didn’t send!”

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Tags: car · cats · neighbors · non-apology apology · Oops? · shit · U.K.

Old habits die…with a pout.

March 19th, 2010 · 187 Comments

“I found this note on my car after two days of parking in a certain (unmarked) spot on the street bordering my school,” says Shane in North Dakota. “Tomorrow, I’m so parking there.”

I'm gonna say this in the nicest possible way, don't park in my spot. I have parked here for 3 years. This isn't a threat I just don't want you parking in my spot. And neither do the people in this row.

related: Can you dig it?

Tags: cry me a freaking river · parking

I just hope this driver doesn’t have any tattoos

March 11th, 2010 · 83 Comments

Kit from Austin spotted this vigilante service vehicle during a road trip through Colorado…

If your [sic] passing me your [sic] speeding

And although the photo below was taken in Toronto, I’d like to imagine the message was scrawled in lipstick by a frustrated passenger just before passing the car above.

LEARN TO SPELL

related: Smug Alert

Tags: car · Colorado · spelling and grammar police · your/you're