Entries Tagged as 'car'

Daddy’s little smartass

August 16th, 2009 · 47 Comments

Nick in Florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” He quickly pulled out his iPhone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.

I'm sorry Dad, Chelsea :)

Meanwhile, Lisa in Maryland spotted this in front of a small computer store near her office.

My Dad said change the sign so...I did :P

Sigh. Children are such a blessing!

related: and pull up your sign

Tags: car · Florida · kids · Maryland · Moms & Dads · smartass · smiley

In other words…the butterflies are passive-aggressive

June 17th, 2009 · 106 Comments

Writes Dan in Seattle: “I work at a hospital and often ride my motorcycle to work. There is another hospital employee that also does so, and we usually park in the same area. Space is at a premium —especially around this woman and her self-proclaimed 10-foot-wide protected parking bubble. Another time she left me a note asking me not to block her in (when I hadn’t blocked her in!) but this latest note from her is the best encounter by far. I parked behind her about a foot back, leaving plenty —and I mean plenty — of room for her to pull out, but apparently that wasn’t enough for her.”

This time, Dan says, “for the safety of my motorcycle (and obviously, out of spite), I told the police.” Lucky for us, he scanned a copy of the note first. It’s the totally “biker chick” stationery that makes it, of course.

The next time you park your bike directly behind me I'll roll it back into the middle of the street!

related: Hello kancer!

Tags: heart · motorcycles · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats · parking · Seattle

A “sincere” apology

May 7th, 2009 · 371 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

Sincerely, your hardworking neighbor

related: How Berkeley

Tags: car · parking · San Francisco · sarcasm

Smug alert

April 27th, 2009 · 273 Comments

The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person.

58mpg

Sometimes…too much.

Just Divorced!!

i don't return movies on time!!

(Thanks to the eagle-eyed Russell in Madison, Wisconsin; Alyssa in Pleasant Grove, Utah and Samantha in Lexington, Kentucky for the documentation.)

related: So if I start selling drugs I can drive an Escalade, too?

Tags: car · Kentucky · Lexington · public shaming · Utah · Wisconsin

With an extra side-helping of spite

March 26th, 2009 · 127 Comments

The village of Irvington, New York, Aaron explains, is a quiet suburb of the Big Apple in Westchester County. “iI’s got one main drag, conveniently named Main Street, where all the major businesses are located,” he says. One day, ” a public services vehicle pulled up too far on the sidewalk for the local Italian deli owner to put up his lunchtime sandwich board.” The result? well, the daily specials had to go somewhere.

WED MENU: Pastrami, Chicken Parm, Meatballs, Chicken Noodle Soup

related: How Berkeley

Tags: New York · parking · restaurant

Maybe if you had just an itty-bitty limp?

February 17th, 2009 · 342 Comments

First of all, the disclaimer: Our anonymous submitter in Houston lives in an apartment complex with very limited parking for residents. “When I come home from work late at night,” she explains, “the handicapped parking spot is typically the only one available.” That excuse, however, doesn’t seem to cut it for one of her neighbors.

As you’ll see from the note left on our submitter’s windshield, this eagle-eyed neighbor perhaps isn’t what you’d call “book-smart,” but — gosh darn it — what she lacks in basic spelling and grammar skills she more than makes up for with raw gumption and a steely sense of self-righteousness!

To my horror, you don't have a single bit of a limp.

[Rough translation, from our anonymous submitter: "I see that you are not handicapped, but you park in the handicapped parking spot in our apartment complex. I am not handicapped, and I don't know anyone in the complex who is, but I feel entitled to tell you to stop parking there.  Furthermore, I feel entitled enough to have your car towed if you park there again."]

related: Mahvelous, just mahvelous

Tags: "helpful" advice · Houston · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · parking · smiley · Texas · that's illegal

And a Happy New Year to you!

January 2nd, 2009 · 41 Comments

Just a humble suggestion for 2009…

Why don't you make your New Years resolution learning how to park?

(Spotted by Charles in Minneapolis)

Tags: holiday spirit · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · office · parking

A little bit of shameless gloating

November 5th, 2008 · 69 Comments

About about a year ago, Coco says, “while visiting home (Charleston — South Carolina’s lone bastion of remote liberalism) — I left my ‘Is it 2008 yet?’ sticker-adorned car in San Francisco’s Outer Richmond district for friends to babysit.

Upon my return, my friend presented me with this note, which had been left on my windshield. I would expect this in Charleston, but in San Francisco?  I blame the patrons of the golf course my car was parked next to.”

No Asshole. It is not 2008 yet. And you liberal cruds will lose then as well. Look at the idiots that you've elected (Clinton, Reid, Pelosi, Boxer, Kennedy, etc.). Clearly you have no shame - and no brains. Note also that a new administration takes office in 2009

related: When mavericks attack

Herbie goes to Washington

Tags: California · parking · politics · San Francisco · unsolicited feedback

When mavericks attack

October 15th, 2008 · 132 Comments

Joe Six-Pack in San Francisco never actually got this note, because our own passive-aggressive pit bull secondsout swiped it from under his windshield wiper. Again, my understanding is that he recused himself,  but I don’t want to talk about that: I’d like to talk about energy.

If you don't know how to operate your gas-guzzling piece of shit SUV without parking up someone else's ass, they you need to get a different car. Signed, Sarah Palin

And also, too, under the umbrella of job creation, therefore:

PALIN HATE POLAR BEAR

related: Herbie goes to Washington

Tags: parking · politics · San Francisco

Dear assholes

October 3rd, 2008 · 104 Comments

I think we’ve received some of your mail by mistake. Just wanted to pass these along!

xoxo, PAN

Dear Assholes, I do not steal. I have never stolen from you. Why should you do that to me? CAN'T AFFORD A DOLLAR...GET A JOB

Dear Assholes, It's all good and well if you want to sneak out here to drink your beer, but please CLEAN UP after yourselves. This is the woods, not your trash can. Sincerely, The trees, the ferns, the groundhogs, all the other creatures that have to live in your mess

Dear Asshole, 6 spaces? Park the boat, then go out. I hope you can appreciate that I took the time to write + place this. I also hope, as much as I hope to get a cordless drill this X-mas, that you get towed. God.

Dear Assholes, Hope you enjoyed me liquor. It was my last bottle EVER and it was GREAT to wake up and find it all gone. Especially since I barely got any myself. Congratulations, you stole from a homeless, dirt-poor alcoholic minor. Hope you feel great about that.

related: Arrivederci, asshole

Tags: "customer service" · beer · garbage · God · parking · stealing · The Earth