PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » cats

Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?

Kerry — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:49:15 +0000

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Found: Ugly Cat

Kerry — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:18:32 +0000

Spotted (and Instagram’d) by Cecilia in Pensacola, Florida:

related: Scat, fat cat!

extra credit: Chase No Face

Scat, fat cat!

Kerry — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 04:23:34 +0000

Sometimes it takes a village to raise an obese cat.

Sam spotted this somewhat presumptuous notice while house-hunting in South London. “We looked everywhere for the monster cat,” he says, to no avail. (Perhaps if you’d tried slipping a few opened tins of tuna fish in your pockets?)

Beware of Barking Mad Cat Lovers!

Kerry — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 12:00:41 +0000

While on her first trip to Bergen, Norway, Den from London was strolling a residential side street when she came across across this note taped to a large window where, just inside, several cats were dozing the day away.

The cutesy clip art is a nice touch, Den says, but she was particularly tickled by the idea of this person rounding up cat-lovers from across the Internet to bark manically at THE PATHETIC MAN WHO DO NOT EVEN HAVE BALLS the next time he strolls by with his dog.

related: My cat-shit crazy neighbor

No “cat parts” in the sink

Kerry — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 01:31:01 +0000

Our submitter found the following signage at an engineering office in Salt Lake City, Utah. Adds our submitter: “For the life of me I can’t figure out what ‘cat parts’ is supposed to refer to — or why people would need a note to know it’s not appropriate to leave them in the kitchen sink.”

P.S. When I did a quick Google Image Search for “cat parts,” I ended up here:

related: “Place feral cats in box”

Meow, purr, RAWRRR!

Kerry — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 03:14:48 +0000

Our submitter at a university in Canberra spotted this first note while getting his morning coffee. “Pat (a professor in the department) has been complaining for weeks that her coffee mug seems to disappear and reappear spontaneously. Her mood varies with its presence.”

Several days later, our submitter spotted this addendum, written by another professor sympathetic to Pat’s cause. “Since the mug hasn’t turned up in over a week, I’m pretty sure the culprit is too afraid to return the mug at this point.” (Could you blame him?)

related: Not to name names, but…

“Place cats in box”

Kerry — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 02:08:21 +0000

A few months ago, one of the stray cats around Kristen‘s townhouse in Redding, California had a litter of kittens, which have since grown into a small army of vicious feral felines. Kristen says she and her husband were just discussing getting one those live cat traps to deal with the problem when they came across the landlord’s DIY version.

“Apparently,” says Kristen, “he expects us to wrestle one of these very angry animals through the hole in this cardboard box, leave it there to play with some makeshift ‘cat toys,’ and then call the Humane Society in the morning. It’s so easy!”

I’m thinking this landlord must watched one too many Maru videos on YouTube…

Kitty Containment: A global issue

eerac — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 18:04:16 +0000

Greta from Sydney couldn’t help but take notice when her new flatmate affixed no fewer than five pleas for feline containment around their home. Greta’s takeaway? “I don’t think I’m supposed to let the cat out.”

While this plethora of preventative postings might strike some as overkill, Jens from Oman informs us that his flatmate did in fact release his friend Jerry’s cat “while in an intoxicated state.” Though the cat was recovered, a “massive reward” was required, prompting Jerry to place these helpful notes on their front door.

Finally, we received this bulletin from Michelle and Guy, spotted at their local postoffice in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia. Though not actually passive-aggressive, we still felt that it was our civic duty to share this alarming note with our readers.

To whom that wanted my cat bot

Kerry — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 23:19:34 +0000

The proper care of outdoor cats has become one of those issues — like tipping, or whether the toilet paper roll should hang over or under — that will no doubt incite flame wars until the end of time. That said, Lindsay in Oregon was still a bit surprised when this note appeared on her apartment building’s bulletin board, given that “FOUND” posters referencing the same collar-less cat had been posted on said bulletin board for weeks on end.

After experiencing similar problems with the neighbors (despite the fact that his cat already wears tags with his owner’s phone number on them) Elisa’s friend in Seattle had another tag made in hopes of preventing future trips to “kitty jail” — or at least to piss of the neighbors taking his cat there.

related: Cat fight!

Hello? Kitty!

Kerry — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 05:01:31 +0000

Kat is currently living abroad teaching English in Japan, and although she speaks to her parents every week, that’s apparently not cutting it with her Dad, who’d prefer more detailed letters.

Rather than communicate this directly to Kat, however, Daddy dearest decided to use the family’s new kitten, Faisal, as his mouthpiece. The result? The finest in super kawaii emotional manipulation!

Now somebody get that man a wasabi-flavored Kit Kat, stat.

related: I can has guilt trip?

My cat-shit crazy neighbor

Kerry — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 00:02:32 +0000

Edie in Bellevue, Washington wasn’t too happy with the neighbor’s cat using her lawn as its personal toilet, so she finally asked the cat’s owner if she’d please clean it up. “She did,” Edie says, “but only after explaining that the cat poops on everyone’s lawn and no one else minds.” (After asking around the neighborhood, Edie found this to be only half-true.)

Little did they know that cat’s crap was practically worth its weight in friggin’ GOLD!!! One can only imagine the reactions of Edie and her similarly ungrateful neighbors when they finished reading the photocopied letter taped to their front doors. (First place? For three years running?? What fools we’ve all been!!!)

extra credit: The Radiolab episode about Toxoplasma and crazy cat ladies

Dr. Doolittle gets tough

Kerry — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 01:24:44 +0000

Jane in Boston says this note appeared on Tomio’s bedroom door, at cat’s-eye level. “Given that I’m pretty sure cats can’t read, it’s the ultimate passive-aggressive sentiment,” Jane says, “but a cat shitting on your bed is pretty passive aggressive, too. What a tangled web we weave.”

Meanwhile, a submitter in Cornwall, England spotted this note (again, at pet’s-eye level) on the front door of a house. “It was unclear what the dog had done, how the notewriter expected the dog to read this, or how ‘Diane’ was filming the dog,” our submitter says. “There was no sign of a camera.”

And yet, it’s this commandment —posted by a neighbor of Marissa in San Francisco — that tickles me the most.

UPDATE: A bonus note (via Anthonio in Seattle), from…Dirt.

So…I’m guessing you don’t get many visitors in your neck of the woods.

Kerry — Fri, 28 May 2010 03:58:42 +0000

Our anonymous submitter saw this notice up in Canada’s Yukon territory. “I always knew that dogs were a very important in the life of the Yukoners,” she says, by way of explanation…an explanation that, frustratingly, explains next to nothing about these people or their “visitors.”

Also, re: points #4 & 6 — my dog isn’t very good at coming when called, but he happens to love hanging out with “drug-using people.” (Lots of Cheetos crumbs and whatnot to lick off the floor.)

related: Your are welcome

Princess Marmalade has been notified

Kerry — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 18:41:15 +0000

“Recently our neighbour falsely accused us of sending him a (passive?) aggressive letter,” says Joe in the U.K. “He was not a happy bunny.” Before an all-out note war commenced, however, the real culprit was apparently identified. Joe received this sincere note of apology the next day.

Adds Joe: “We’re not really sure what the car thing is about — probably a reference to the original note we didn’t send!”

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper