Entries Tagged as 'cats'

Your cat. Your choice.

July 25th, 2013 · 240 Comments

Submission-wise, it’s been a slow week. So, hey, why not open the can of worms that is The Great Outdoor Cat Debate? (Eeek.)

Amy says her Atlanta neighborhood is constantly plastered with “missing cat” signs. This one, though, was a little different.

If you own a gray tabby cat with a collar, read this. Your cat is spending its days in my backyard. I have bird feeders and there are chipmunks around. When I try to be nice to the cat to be able to read its collar and find out where its home is, it hisses and growls. This is fair warning. The next time I see your cat in my backyard, I will throw something heavy at it. I have pretty good aim. So if you don't want a vet bill, keep your cat indoors. If it kills a bird at one of my feeders, I will hire someone to catch it and take it to animal control. Your cat. Your choice.

related: Barking Mad

Tags: Atlanta · cats · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · warning

Leave kitty alone!

July 1st, 2013 · 91 Comments

Writes Susan in Delaware: “My family and I live in a very large apartment complex and recently discovered a mother cat and her five kittens living in the bushes. We called a local trap/neuter/return charity so that we could get the kittens and her mom basic vet care, shots, and neutering. We posted notes next to each trap explaining exactly what we were doing, and that all housecats with collars/tags would be immediately released.”

Over the course of a week, Susan says, no non-feral cats were caught, but for whatever reason one of the neighbors decided to steal all of the traps and replace them with this lovely note.

FORGOTTEN IDIOTS We know you have no life but LEAVE OUR CATS ALONE and find something else to do with your sorry ass life. Some of us have Cats who we let out and have all their shots and we don't need your

“The kicker of all this is that trapping feral cats actually protects the health of house cats,” Susan says. “Even if their cat did get accidentally picked up it would have gotten free vet care, since I’m the one coughing up $35 per cat for the honor of watching, baiting, and setting the traps multiple times per day.”

Adds Susan: “The ‘Yetters’ mentioned is a nearby liquor store. I assume the writer of this note spends a lot of time there.”

related: “Place cats in box”

Tags: blame it on the crackhead · cats · Delaware · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Oh look, Reddit exploded in the kitchen.

June 19th, 2013 · 46 Comments

STAHP.

Kitchen signs are the best! SMALL KITCHEN SIGNS ARE BETTER. I disagree. I made a kitchen sign but I eated it. If you are the making coffee first thing in the morning, please rinse out the coffee pot. Thank you. Every time you use the last paper towel and don't replace the roll, a kitten cries (and then gets eaten slowly by a hungry, endangered polar bear. The new rolls are located in the cabinet behind you. Please replace it when necessary. Thanks...from the kittens. (The polar bears? Not so much. Still hungry.)

Every time you use the last paper towel and don't replace the roll, a kitten cries (and then gets eaten slowly by a hungry, endangered polar bear. The new rolls are located in the cabinet behind you. Please replace it when necessary. Thanks...from the kittens. (The polar bears? Not so much. Still hungry.)

related: The Internet is leaking.

Tags: cats · kitchen · Los Angeles · note wars · office · shameless meme-mongering

The cat came back

October 9th, 2012 · 67 Comments

I know I’m asking for trouble here, but when John in Missouri passed along this exchange between his father’s neighbor (an “interested animal lover”) and his father (a reluctant one), I just couldn’t resist.

Sir- I hope you are putting fresh water out for the gray cat on these very hot days. I see him laying out on your stoop looking miserable! It would be nice if he could come inside. The elderly lady that use to live there took good care of the cats. An interested Animal Lover

If the cat does not want to look quite so miserable it could go to the shade in the back yard. It will not drink water even on hottest days. I tried. I think the hot days are over. As you said, it is not my cat. It could sleep in garage if it wants to. It will not drink water, I have a witness. Please take the cat. Feed it. Water it. Please. Let it mess up your house.

Confidential to John’s Dad: I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

related: The Great Outdoor Cat Debate of 2012

Tags: "helpful" advice · cats · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · old folks

Signed, The Cat

September 27th, 2012 · 70 Comments

From a house full of roommates in Texas, our submitter calls this “a prime example of ‘dogs have owners, cats have staff.’”

Anna, please clean my vomit. Thanks. —Cat

related: Hendrix is the cat

Tags: cats · cleaning · roommates · vomit

Happy Caturday!

September 22nd, 2012 · 103 Comments

Writes our submitter in Canada: “This is my neighbour’s cat, Byron. He’s a lovely boy, but given the chance, he’ll steal into my apartment and scarf down my cats’ kibble. The other day Bryon visited sporting this new heart-shaped tag.”

PLEASE DON'T FEED ME!!

PLEASE DON'T FEED ME!!

related post:

Please stop feeding my cat!

Tags: British Columbia · cats · neighbors

So if you know anyone who cares about their pets…

July 25th, 2012 · 449 Comments

Here’s how Connie explains the situation: “I’m selling my house and moving to a new town. I’ve had an outdoor cat for almost five years, and she doesn’t do well indoors. Since it looks like I’ll end up in an apartment for the first year, I’m trying to find a new home for her. I made the mistake of asking a coworker who is passionate about his pets — seriously, he loves them more than people — and I thought he was just having a little fun with me when he bashed me for ‘throwing her away.’ I laughed and just told him to ask around and let me know.”

Here’s how Connie’s coworker chose to do that:

Connie is abandoning her pet cat even though it was a very loyal pet many years and its probably going to end up on a shelter.    So if you know anyone who cares about their pets and has room for one more, please let her know.  Thanks,  Brian

related: Sorry, my friends don’t eat cat.

extra credit: The saga of the passive-aggressive “lost cat” poster 

Tags: cats · e-mail · frenemies · guilt trip · self-righteous vegans · South Carolina

Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?

February 5th, 2012 · 349 Comments

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Hi. I adopted a cat in November. Tried to maintain it on a vegan diet, but all the vets I saw say this is bad. I've decided I want to give it up and get a bunny. I posted a status on FB advertising it for adoption and no one responded. Really don't want it around me anymore. Since you have a primitive diet, would you mind adopting it?

 Sorry I don't like cats. Take it to a shelter.  Yeah, no. See, that's exactly what I'm trying to AVOID. Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?  They either already have pets or don't want any. Sorry.  Okay. Thanks for being super useful as always!

related: My self-righteous vegan roommate

Tags: cats · frenemies · just an asshole · most popular notes of 2012 · self-righteous vegans · text message · Would you mind?

Found: Ugly Cat

December 28th, 2011 · 35 Comments

Spotted (and Instagram’d) by Cecilia in Pensacola, Florida:

UGLY CAT There is a cat in place that will not leave no matter how poorly I treat it. This means: 1) It is lost 2) It is abandoned 3) It thinks I am a better decorator than you. If you want your cat back describe on next page & leave phone #. If your description matches, come pick up your cat. Bring a stun gun. This *#!$% cat will not leave voluntarily.

related: Scat, fat cat!

extra credit: Chase No Face

Tags: cats · Florida · neighbors

Scat, fat cat!

October 26th, 2011 · 241 Comments

Sometimes it takes a village to raise an obese cat.

Sam spotted this somewhat presumptuous notice while house-hunting in South London. “We looked everywhere for the monster cat,” he says, to no avail. (Perhaps if you’d tried slipping a few opened tins of tuna fish in your pockets?)

PLEASE STOP FEEDING MY CAT! Over the last 4 months he has put on 7 lbs! He is now seriously overweight! This is BAD for his health. He is on a special diet prescribed by the VET. If he tries to steal your cats' food: CHASE HIM OFF! Please stop feeding him voluntarily. Thank You.

related: To whom that wanted to be a superhero and take my cat to the pound

Tags: cats · food · neighbors