PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » cleaning

It’s not a chore; it’s a date!

Kerry — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 02:58:38 +0000

Spotted by Kathy at her office lunchroom in Seattle:

The real sad reality?

related: You sure nag like my mother…

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

Kerry — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 00:35:17 +0000

Welcome to the set of Mean Girls: Orlando!

The initial note:

And the response…

If a tree falls in my kitchen but I don’t know where the broom is located…

Kerry — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:02:35 +0000

Savanna in Michigan says her landlord left this note on the kitchen floor “next to a tiny pile of tiny scraps of trash on the floor from dinner I had made.” Her excuse? “I don’t think we even have a broom, and if we do I have no idea where he keeps it.”

Um, Savanna, honey? No. Just…no.

Death by a Thousand Puns

Kerry — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 02:41:51 +0000

Relentless exposure to awful puns hasn’t yet been explicitly singled out as a form of torture, but employees at this office in Australia might be able to make the case that it qualifies as “extreme mental distress.”

Apparently the strategy here was that for every day the kitchen’s cutlery situation went unresolved, up went another note — with progressively groan-worthy puns each time. (It took until “Spatchalator” for someone to cry uncle.)

Well, someone’s feeling a little chippy…

Kerry — Wed, 18 May 2011 12:00:16 +0000

How long will your slob of a flatmate neglect her fallen french fry on the filthy carpet of your shared living space?

Well, if your flatmate is Bex in Stoke, England…long enough for it to be transformed into a small art installation, apparently.

related: Grimace and the fry kids

Some relationship advice from your roommate

Kerry — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 03:25:16 +0000

Vanessa in Baton Rouge can vouch that that the state of her friend Charles’s bathroom and boudoir is “perpetually dirty.” Oddly, though, “of all the times I’ve been over to Charles’ apartment with his girlfriend, I’ve never, ever seen his roommate.”

(Which makes me wonder…could this note from Charles’s “roomie” actually have been written by said girlfriend? I’m not sure which scenario would be more passive-aggressive.)

You’re just not getting it, Sugar

Kerry — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 22:10:52 +0000

From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.

And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:

related: Nutra-not-so-sweet

Please clean ALL your feathers.

Kerry — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 00:00:53 +0000

Paul in New York City has no idea what inspired this peculiar sign in his building’s laundry room…

If only he had attended the building meeting, where the offending neighbor offered his response…

And heaven forbid a man even imagine cleaning a toilet himself…

Kerry — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 22:00:18 +0000

Katrina‘s husband spotted this sign in the men’s room of his office in Roswell, Georgia, shortly before the boss ordered it taken down. (The “…or I will cut you” part of the manager’s removal directive was implied, obviously. Because that’s just how they do things around there.)

Three never-ending office arguments

Kerry — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 22:44:58 +0000

I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”

Exhibit a) From San Francisco:

Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:

Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:

related: Completely valid rebuttals

If you thought your microwave was dirty…

Kerry — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 03:05:17 +0000

…then you obviously haven’t been introduced to the Houston, Texas model apparently gunning for the title of “the Dane Cook of household appliances.”

(For that, you can be thankful.)

related: Microwave on the run!

Your mother doesn’t work here…so security will have to escort her out.

Kerry — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 04:07:19 +0000

I think this has got to be my new favorite (unintentional) twist on the old “your mother doesn’t work here” trope. So congratulations, overbearing office manager! The three hours of company time you spent searching for just the right clip art — not to mention your charmingly cavalier disregard for spell-check — did not go unappreciated!

P.S. I promise, from now on, I will be sure to always clean and scrub the delicious Italian rice balls so graciously provided by the Phantom Mammas infiltrating our kitchen.

The most unpleasant of pleasantries

Kerry — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 02:25:16 +0000

So, Jen in Ontario, Canada just moved into a new shared living arrangement…with a 50-something lady. “I thought having an older person as a roommate would more peaceful,” she explains. “Turns out I was wrong.” Communication skills, it seems, aren’t one of those things that necessarily improve with age.

Within a week of moving in, Jen says, there were “helpful instructions” taped up all around the house. After that, the notes just kept coming, accusing Jen of everything from filling the dishwasher with soy sauce to sabotaging the tea kettle — always book-ended by a “Pls” and “Thank you,” of course. Because that’s how mature adults act.

related: The Post-it Wars

I am clearly too busy writing notes, so could somebody less important than me take care of this?

Kerry — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 03:05:03 +0000

One reason that notes of the do this/move this/clean this variety inspire so much ire among recipients is the fact that, more often than not, writing the note probably took more time and effort than it would have for the writer to just do/move/clean it themselves. (But of course, to the martyrs in the office, it’s always about the principle of the thing.) Office kitchens seem to be ground zero for this particular type of pettiness.

At Jacqueline’s workplace in San Francisco, for example, “someone left a clean mug on an empty counter” — an offense that was apparently too grave for one coworker to let slide without comment.

Meanwhile, in Ohio, our anonymous submitter came into work one morning to see this note “on a table with maybe two crumbs on it.” Her solution? “I took the picture, put the cleaning supplies away, and moved the note. Later, I was thanked for cleaning the table.”

related: BAD SALAMI!