Entries Tagged as 'cleaning'

Death by a Thousand Puns

June 27th, 2011 · 39 Comments

Relentless exposure to awful puns hasn’t yet been explicitly singled out as a form of torture, but employees at this office in Australia might be able to make the case that it qualifies as “extreme mental distress.”

Apparently the strategy here was that for every day the kitchen’s cutlery situation went unresolved, up went another note — with progressively groan-worthy puns each time. (It took until “Spatchalator” for someone to cry uncle.)

Please clean up your mess when you're done Thankyou! This includes SPOONS you forkers! Gee...that's not very knife.

Obviously cutlery offends. (I guess that's why my last note didn't last long.) It'd be knife if people started keeping the cutlery clean sometime spoon. Don't forket!!

A message from the spoon police to the sign police: You've been very bowl'd thus far, but things still haven't panned out the way they should have. Spooner or later you'll have to leave the sign here. Spatchalater. Signed: CLLF (Cutlery & Crockery Liberation Front)

related: This vending machine doesn’t work…it just sits around collecting unemployment.

Tags: Australia · cleaning · kitchen · most popular notes of 2011 · office cop · smartass · spoons

Well, someone’s feeling a little chippy…

May 18th, 2011 · 59 Comments

How long will your slob of a flatmate neglect her fallen french fry on the filthy carpet of your shared living space?

Well, if your flatmate is Bex in Stoke, England…long enough for it to be transformed into a small art installation, apparently.

Hi Bex I'm your floor chip I miss you XXX

EAT ME

related: Grimace and the fry kids

Tags: anthropomorphism · cleaning · food · roommates · U.K.

Some relationship advice from your roommate

April 10th, 2011 · 53 Comments

Vanessa in Baton Rouge can vouch that that the state of her friend Charles’s bathroom and boudoir is “perpetually dirty.” Oddly, though, “of all the times I’ve been over to Charles’ apartment with his girlfriend, I’ve never, ever seen his roommate.”

(Which makes me wonder…could this note from Charles’s “roomie” actually have been written by said girlfriend? I’m not sure which scenario would be more passive-aggressive.)

Charles, Here's a thought. If you would like your girlfriend to come over more, maybe you should try cleaning up your room and BATHROOM. love, roomie :)

Tags: "helpful" advice · Baton Rouge · cleaning · roommates · sig o · signed with love · smiley

You’re just not getting it, Sugar

December 19th, 2010 · 77 Comments

From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.

The trashcan isn't that far away! Quit leaving this mess EVERY DAY! Throw it away! Love, The 2nd floor

Seriously! Stop leaving this here! Throw this away!

Really!?!? Come on!!!

And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:

EAT THESE IF YOU WOULD LIKE CANCER

related: Nutra-not-so-sweet

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · coffee · Colorado · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · heart · It's science! · Jacksonville · office · spoons

Please clean ALL your feathers.

November 17th, 2010 · 33 Comments

Paul in New York City has no idea what inspired this peculiar sign in his building’s laundry room…

Please clean ALL your feathers. They NOT acceptable & I will bring it up at the meeting if not.

If only he had attended the building meeting, where the offending neighbor offered his response…

Dirty Bird

related: That’s actually a totally reasonable response.

Tags: cleaning · laundry · message to all intended for one · neighbors · New York · WTF?

And heaven forbid a man even imagine cleaning a toilet himself…

November 13th, 2010 · 60 Comments

Katrina‘s husband spotted this sign in the men’s room of his office in Roswell, Georgia, shortly before the boss ordered it taken down. (The “…or I will cut you” part of the manager’s removal directive was implied, obviously. Because that’s just how they do things around there.)

GENTLEMAN use these restrooms as if your wife had to clean them. And not some strange black lady with a knife. Thank you

related: He’s disgusting AND he hates the environment!

Tags: cleaning · crazypants · disgruntled janitor · Georgia · irregular capitalization · most popular notes of 2010 · office · toilet

Three never-ending office arguments

September 27th, 2010 · 61 Comments

I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”

Exhibit a) From  San Francisco:

Your mother does not work here. This is disgusting for others who use this restroom. {Response:] YOU SURE NAG LIKE MY MOTHER

Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:

To conserve energy, please turn off the dupe deck when you are done. Tks [RESPONSE:] food for thought: it may in fact consume more energy to continually turn it off + on.

Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:

Covering your food keeps microwave clean. Thnx! [RESPONSE:] Please state the obvious here...

related: Completely valid rebuttals

Tags: California · cleaning · Dallas/Fort Worth · energy usage · microwave · office · oh snap · rebuttals · San Francisco · that's disgusting · thx · Your mother doesn't...

If you thought your microwave was dirty…

August 25th, 2010 · 51 Comments

…then you obviously haven’t been introduced to the Houston, Texas model apparently gunning for the title of “the Dane Cook of household appliances.”

(For that, you can be thankful.)

STOP! Don't touch me there: these are my no-no squares. Don't put anything on top of me, only inside (foreplay isn't needed). Please keep me clean...Only your mom likes it dirty. Hugs & Kisses, Your Friendly Neighborhood Microwave

related: Microwave on the run!

Tags: anthropomorphism · cleaning · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Houston · microwave · most popular notes of 2010 · thanks (but not really) · touching

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