Entries Tagged as 'cleaning'

Now that’s effective management

September 10th, 2007 · 113 Comments

Craig from Nottingham, England snapped these at the pub where his cousin works. (Apologies for the blurriness — just pretend you’ve already knocked back a few pints.)

TO ALL STAFF  The habit of simply writing in the duties diary or ringing up to say "Can't work" will cease forthwith. With my approval, attempts to swap shifts with another member of staff of a similar experience will be made first if that is not possible then approach to me to ask for time off. Although for some of you your work is part-time it is not temporary and I expect people when they say they want to to work at the pub to fufil [sic] their part of the bargain.

Keep this area clean and tidy and all times  do not throw away the gold coffee lids   do not eat the coffee mints

All staff: The standards achieved in this pub are not what I expect. Unless effort and levels of cleanliness improve then you must expect the consequences.

If the tin is down or up and you don't tell me then I MAY take the difference from your wages.

By the way, if you’d like to go meet Stephen and shake his hand, Craig says the name of the pub is The Flowing Spring, in Henley. Stephen seems like a kindred spirit to Desi’s New York dungeon master, no?

related: p-e-t-t-y

Tags: bar · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · Nottingham · office · U.K.

P.S. Bacon is life

September 1st, 2007 · 200 Comments

The Coast newspaper in Halifax recently invited its readers to share their “passive-aggressive roommate tales.” (Gee, what a novel idea!)

My favorite part:

roommate2.jpg

Excerpts from a 34-point note sent to a former roommate:

2. Your rent was always late and it was not paid in full.

4. You used the dishes and baking ware that we provided to you and often did not clean them, left them to ruin, or left them for someone else to clean because you were too busy rushing out the door to go party when you had all day off. If you have all day off, do something more than try to find someone, anyone to hang out with that night that just so happens to have a car and is willing to pick your lazy ass up.

22. Your friends have no right to use and mess up our bathroom. You have your own, it’s part of your room. Also, if they are going to be putting fruit remains in our garbage can, have them removed before they rot. While we’re on the subject…

23. Fruit flies. Need I say more?

25. We were quite upset that you didn’t buy us anything for Christmas worth more than $3. It’s not the money really, but $1.50 each, that’s just insulting. We noticed that week you borrowed money from your current fling to go out and party. I hope you did buy a self-help book at Chapters like you said you were planning.

29. When people have to work very early in the morning, like at 5am, it’s not very nice to have your loud-mouthed boyfriend chatting with you all night, take it somewhere else. Like his mom’s house where he still lives…

30. The clogged toilet thing, you got off easy on that one. Plumbing and property damage is a lot more important than rushing out the door to hang out with your friends. Prioritize.

33. The comment you made about being the type of person who can’t live with someone is something you should take serious consideration of. How are you going to continue living your faux Sex and the City lifestyle if your goal in life is to find a man you can live with, and if you are not the type of person that can actually live with someone?” B.M.

Full story here; another choice excerpt after the jump.

[Read more →]

Tags: bullet points · Canada · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · food · Halifax · money · revenge · roommates

Upon further reflection, screw you

September 1st, 2007 · 53 Comments

While Jessica was a college student in Boston, she lived in a five-person apartment with one friend and three strangers. Jess says apartment issues were rarely (if ever talked about directly (there was but one “meeting), but were instead handled through a series of “love notes” from Anne, like this one.

passiveaggressivenotes.com: memorandum to roommates

Most of the points in this letter, Jessica adds, were directed at one person in particular — her friend, with whom Anne shared a room. And when Anne was told to “remind people to clean” at the meeting, Jess says she and her roommates were simply referring to when and if it began to bother her. Oh, and the building’s rodent problem was a pre-existing condition.

Tags: Boston · cleaning · dishes · garbage · guests · not-so-veiled threats · vermin · water · Your mother doesn't...

Kitchen wish list

August 13th, 2007 · 86 Comments

An anonymous submitter brings us this note from the kitchen of Vermont Theater’s group housing, “where all the techies live.” Unlike other notes we’ve seen attributed to management/the apartment/the cat, etc., our submitter says the bit at the bottom was, in fact, written by the house’s cleaning lady. “Granted,” he says, “the kitchen was messy, but this is from the CLEANING LADY!”

(I’m wondering though, if “messy” might be a bit of an understatement…)

That peaple [sic] do there [sic] own dishes when finished with them! Thanks Housekeeping

Tags: cleaning · dishes · kitchen · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really) · Vermont

Cleaning party!

July 30th, 2007 · 32 Comments

Justin in Winston-Salem, N.C. spotted this classic mom note on the fridge at his friends’ house — with a bonus roommate note, to boot!

Says Justin: “I love the magnet — not sure if it’s supposed to be a letter grade or not, but I prefer to think that it is. If they get an F, I’d get a negative B or so.”

You Boys need to have a Cleaning Party! :) Love, Mom

(Wings, corn dogs, taquitos AND mac & cheese? Ah, college.)

Tags: cleaning · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Moms & Dads · North Carolina · roommates · signed with love · smiley · spelling and grammar police

Martyr complex much?

July 19th, 2007 · 79 Comments

Sometimes, a little complaining is necessary.

I don't complain

(Submitted by Jeremiah in Little Rock, Arkansas.)

 

Tags: Arkansas · cleaning · dishes · dogs · martyr complex · money · roommates · shit

Cubicle etiquette

July 17th, 2007 · 103 Comments

This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

Cubicle Etiquette

PRIVACY

"SMELLS"

"NOISE"

SIGHTS

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)

related: A clue your coworker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · gloriously redundant · music · noise · odor · office · office cop · privacy · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Your mother doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)

July 6th, 2007 · 94 Comments

your mother would be embarassed by these stock images

did you mean

449441454_052595f9a5.jpg

mummy doesn't work here

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2007 · Nebraska · office · U.K. · Virginia · visual aids · Your mother doesn't...

How not to housetrain a roommate

July 2nd, 2007 · 40 Comments

Smileys can be terrifying.

how not to housetrain a roommate

(Submitted by Simon in Richmond, Virginia.)

Tags: cleaning · excessive underlining · Richmond · roommates · smiley · whiteboard

Hendrix is the cat

June 21st, 2007 · 43 Comments

No lols from this feline — just some lovely passive voice!

Our house is dirty. Cleaning needs to be done. Thanx, Hendrix

(Thanx to Megan in Michigan for submitting.)

related: Does the floor have the capability of sweeping itself?

 

Tags: cats · cleaning · Michigan · passive voice · roommates · signed with love · whiteboard