Entries Tagged as 'cleaning'

Letter from a narcotic

June 12th, 2007 · 52 Comments

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

Obviously things have been weird with us lately and I have a hard time talking to us and I don't know the right way to approach you or how to say what I want to say to you without hopefully not hurting your feelings. But we're both mature individuals, so I figured the best way for me to communicate what I have to say to you would be through a letter.

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

Tags: cleaning · college life · fun with malapropisms · garbage · money · New York · roommates · runaway run-on sentences

$10 each

June 11th, 2007 · 23 Comments

Says Tyler in Boston: “My roommate stopped talking to me after the first month of living together and only communicated via whiteboard.” Or, has his roommate might say, via “whiteboard thing.”

539933351_9729cbef73.jpg

Tags: Boston · cleaning · excessive underlining · money · roommates · whiteboard

Which one of these is not like the other?

June 6th, 2007 · 48 Comments

Along with the Mad Bomber series, I’d say this note is one for the hall of fame. There are so many amazing elements here I can’t even pick a favorite.

Yay! No more loud obnoxious roommates! which one of these is not like the other? (2 of 2)

related: care, it makes a difference

Tags: cleaning · college life · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · noise · odor · roommates · sex sex sex · whiteboard

Welcome to the office!

June 4th, 2007 · 6 Comments

Explains JDB: “The blue note went up first, then we hired a bunch of contractors. The red note went up shortly after that.”

NEW PEOPLE THIS APPLIES TO YOU --> If you drink it - make it! If you spill it - clean it up! If you don't want to do either of the above - USE ANOTHER BREAK ROOM!

Tags: cleaning · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office

The Post-it Wars

June 4th, 2007 · 23 Comments

After receiving numerous “helpful tips” from her roommate at the University of Minnesota…

Tips for keeping counters clean!

TIP: If you use the sponge, squeeze it out and put it on the side of the sink. It will last longer and not get stinky! Thanks

DISH ETIQUETTE:  1) Please soak pots & pans IMMEDIATELY after use.  2) Put dishes in dishwasher right after washing them out.   3) Place cleaned cookware on a towel next to the sink.  4) Rinse dishes right after use.  5) Be considerate!

…Lydia decided to add a few “tips” of her own. (The large signs on the oven and the microwave were already there.)

Roommate's revenge

related: Meet the world’s crankiest roommate

Tags: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · college life · dishes · etiquette · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · kitchen · microwave · Minnesota · rebuttals · roommates · sponges

Microwaves for Dummies

May 27th, 2007 · 7 Comments

I agree with Katrina in Ann Arbor, Michigan — the last  ”…etc.” bullet point is what makes the sign totally genius. And, apparently, effective.

Katrina adds, “Our microwave is a pristine fucking sanctum suitable for storing, say, the Dead Sea Scrolls, so maybe people are leaving the shrink wrap on their Lean Cuisines.”

REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT USE THIS MICROWAVE

Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · cleaning · Michigan · microwave · odor · office