PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Denver

In the spirit of the holidays…enjoy the pipe bomb!

Kerry — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:53:00 +0000

My friend Amy and her husband recently had a UPS package stolen from their front porch. Thanks to the wonders of a home security camera, they were able to see that the thieves were actually their next-door neighbors. After a few rounds of “WHAT? WHO DOES THAT? REALLY?” they called the cops and had the fools arrested. (Score: Technology – 1; Humanity – 0.)

Meanwhile, the residents under siege at this Denver apartment building seem to be taking the vigilante approach to justice. Somehow, unless Batman shows up, I just don’t see this ending well.

Soda stealers are the lowest forms of life!

Kerry — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:22:51 +0000

The subtle version (from Denver, Colorado):

And the not-so-subtle version (spotted by Ariana in Boulder, Colorado):

extra credit: Coke, Sprite, or Ice-T

Thank you for your “constructive criticism”

Kerry — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 03:38:50 +0000

When it comes to comment cards and suggestion boxes, it’s not necessarily hard to get the last word. But as Maggie noticed while leaving a dining hall at the University of Denver, it takes a skilled passive-aggressive to turn a totally neutral, boilerplate response into an obvious “up yours” without so much as an exclamation point.

extra credit: College Cafeterias Get Bad Grades from the Health Dept. [nytimes.com]

NEWS ALERT: Dark alley not the safest place to store your personal belongings

Kerry — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 22:15:31 +0000

Okay, dude, I really don’t want to kick you while you’re down — getting your scooter stolen definitely sucks. (Also, based on the rage level in your note, I think you’d probably kick back pretty hard.) And yet…I’m not really buying your framing of this as some kind of public service announcement.

For one thing, I’m guessing that if you took a poll of your neighbors (including Alex, our submitter) and asked, “Hey, did you know that if you leave your personal property in this alley, it could get stolen?!” I’m pretty sure most would respond with someone along the lines of, “Uh, no shit.” Just sayin’.

Your mother doesn’t work here…so security will have to escort her out.

Kerry — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 04:07:19 +0000

I think this has got to be my new favorite (unintentional) twist on the old “your mother doesn’t work here” trope. So congratulations, overbearing office manager! The three hours of company time you spent searching for just the right clip art — not to mention your charmingly cavalier disregard for spell-check — did not go unappreciated!

P.S. I promise, from now on, I will be sure to always clean and scrub the delicious Italian rice balls so graciously provided by the Phantom Mammas infiltrating our kitchen.

Frig you, ya big goof

Kerry — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:26:48 +0000

This note, from Michelle in Denver, displays the remarkable lengths that some people will go to avoid confrontation.

“And this bright-green gem wasn’t the only priceless thing visible,” Michelle says. “On the cubicle wall closest to the refrigerators was a camera…and it was actually connected to the computer and recording a live feed. This is why you don’t steal from the fridge when you work for a multimedia corporation!”

related: ABP on the V8

…or just Jewish.

Kerry — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 02:45:35 +0000

Writes Alex in Denver: “Last year, my roommate Luke got frustrated that our undecorated tree was still sitting in the basement on Christmas Eve. We decided to get retribution by moving the tree into his room.”

Happy Hannukah, everyone!

Thou dost protest too much, methinks

kerry — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:13:24 +0000

Writes Joe in Denver: “My roommate gets very emotional when someone criticizes him, but will gladly e-mail me or leave notes around the house with dozens of ‘little reminders’” like this one — written after Joe left a broom in the living room overnight.